rosietee

I posted this under your sub thread, but wanted to repost under separate thread in case you missed it--I really want you to read this!

Re: Sub question????
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Michelle! I just got up and have to quickly make it look like I did something for hubby, lol. but as to your original question, here is my response: I had no w/d while I was on my max dose of the sub (6 mg in one day) At the end of my taper, it hit me, hard. I had really bad, umm tummy problems, know what I mean, and got shaky, etc. So it does delay the w/d. HOWEVER, I never had the RLS, which was nice. Now for me, I was also going through a benzo w/d, so who knows what was what. I never vomited, either.

There is so much I want to tell you and with all this sleep it has been hard to get the time to sit down and do it. Let me tell you that I believe that was the only way. The hospital was really really nice. The other people in there included 2 nurses and a doctor's wife. The doctor let me see my kids every single day (he believes a "shot" every 24 hours works better w/ the little ones). I don't know if I would have made it without that.

My most important realization learned? If I continue to use these drugs, I WILL lose my kids, my family, my home, everything. Another way they put it is "Anything you put between you and your sobriety, you WILL lose." And recovery is all about a relationship with God as you know him, keeping him part of every moment. You say you cannot imagine the rest of your life without pills. Well, I can't either. My moment of clarity was about 4 days into my treatment when I called my husband and told him where my stash of about 150 pills was. I felt sad as the nurse ground up all the pills I had brought with me. The only thing I can say is that today I am not going to use any pills. I can't do it any other way but moment to moment, hour to hour, day by day. I love my children and my husband. I will not be able to keep them if I go down that path. Do you know how many women I met who had been in terrible accidents while under the influence with their kids in the car? It is just a matter of time. If you keep using, you WILL end up either: in jail, in an institution, or dead. Period. If you put your sobriety first, the rest will come back first class.

I will tell you more later or tomorrow. Michelle, I love you and you have helped other people, including me, so much! You were always there when I needed you. And I still do.

One more thing, the first 90 days, you might not feel that good (that's why AA and NA say 90 meetings in 90 days). It takes that long for your brain to begin to heal and feel hopeful and even longer to fully recover. But the only way to get there is to stick it out, and no one can do that on their own, sweetie.

luv,
rosie