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Old 04-30-2004, 02:45 PM   #1
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troubledchild HB User
Unhappy I am at my wits end with everything

Hi everyone,

I have been on here before about my friend being on drugs and he doesn't want to get off of them, a shame but he won't go anywhere.

The thing that we are trying to figure out is what kind of drug he is on, he scratches himself all of the time and he has sores all over his body from the scratches. He soaks his bed when he sleeps I don't know if this is all of the time, just what I am hearing from his mom. He will drive for like 2 to 3 hrs then has no idea of how he got there but he knows where he is at because he has a gsp? tracking on his truck. He will go 3 to 4 days at a time where he just gets lost, can't get a hold of him. Now he has an additional phone that he won't even give his mom the phone number. He is always dirty and smelly now and he was always really good about his looks he was a very handsome man, now just looks like a freaking bum.

None of us or his mother know what kind of drug he is on and how he is getting it and where he would even hide it because we have seemed to look everywhere.

It is very sad because he is now knocking on deaths door. He is a 37 year old man with nothing.

His parents are rich and they keep getting him out of trouble and now they said they will put him in Hazelden to help but he doesn't want to go, he said they are too strict there, well DUH of course they have to be. The first month there is $23,000 and then $13,000 a month after that. If he is in there a year that is like $150,000. I think I would rather say you know what, go live out on the street. They are going to waste, and I mean just flush down the toilet that kind of money because when he comes out he is just going to do the drugs all over again.

They have cancelled some of his credit cards, he only has one card left but he is taking cash advances out all of the time and that is expensive. I don't know how much at a time he is taking though.

If anyone can give me any insight as to what you think what kind of drugs he is on, I would be so thankful, I have been all over the internet trying to find information but there is so much to all take in.

Thanks,

Grace

 
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Old 04-30-2004, 05:03 PM   #2
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DannDees HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Sounds like crystal meth to me....I had a wonderful 9 years and 2 kids with my first love until he met crystal..his parents are doing nothing but enableing him. just like my exes parents when i left him to fall they were there to pick him up.. He started in 1994 and still is on till this day and lives with mom. His dad died now..but as long as someone is there they will never quit..tough love is needed in order to help them..

 
Old 05-01-2004, 12:07 AM   #3
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Poo2 HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Sounds like meth to me as well. I know that people that use this feel like they have bugs crawling on their skin and scratch until they have sores. Meth is becoming really popular these days because it's soooooo cheap to make and easy. If he is unwilling to get the help he needs his parents can shell out a million dollars and lose it. Meth is very hard to get off of and is very addictive.

 
Old 05-01-2004, 05:18 AM   #4
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sadsister HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Hi-
Sounds like heroin too-scratching/sweating are two common side effects-plus the cash..does he sleep alot?If he doesn't want to go to a place like Hazelden-hes not ready yet-to get clean.
Most addicts end up at state run facilitys-hazelden is top-notch.
Sorry bout your friend-he needs help-but hes got to want it..he hasn't hit his bottom-yet...
heather

 
Old 05-01-2004, 06:02 AM   #5
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spark-o-cet HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

sounds like meth or it could be oxys they itch me to death and break me out in bad rash all over my body.big red bumps that itch.good luck-spark

 
Old 05-01-2004, 07:27 AM   #6
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troubledchild HB User
Lightbulb Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Thank you all so much for responding to my post, another thing I forgot to post in there was that last week he went 3 days without sleeping, he could not sleep. Is this an effect of that drug?


Thanks,


Grace

 
Old 05-01-2004, 07:53 AM   #7
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staceyy HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

I think every one is right it could be meth or herion The soars can be staff infection he should get to the doctor. why don't you just ask him what he is on. don't beat around the bush stop enableing him his parents have to be stong program or the streets I no I sound mean right now but some times we "meaning drug addict" don't get it until our backs are to the wall. wish I could help more.
Goddess Bless
Stacey

 
Old 05-01-2004, 09:45 PM   #8
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troubledchild HB User
Exclamation Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Quote:
Originally Posted by staceyy
I think every one is right it could be meth or herion The soars can be staff infection he should get to the doctor. why don't you just ask him what he is on. don't beat around the bush stop enableing him his parents have to be stong program or the streets I no I sound mean right now but some times we "meaning drug addict" don't get it until our backs are to the wall. wish I could help more.
Goddess Bless
Stacey

Hi Stacey,

I don't think you sound mean at all, I feel the same way about the situation. I stopped enabling him all together, it is his mother that just keeps on it and she won't stop. She keeps saying she is going to cut all ties and she doesn't. She is not keeping her end of the bargain up and he knows she will give in. I have asked him what he is on and he won't tell me, he tells me that he is not on drugs, but if you seen him you would know.

Today he finally said that he is going back to Sedona Arizona, and he doesn't want to go to Hazelden, even though he says he is not on drugs, I understand that maybe this could be the first step but I don't believe him, I think he is going to do this just to pease his parents. When he comes back home I think he will be right back where he left off.

His Dad is beside himself, he is 75 years old and doesn't need this, I get real scared for his dad because if he were to push him really not meaning it he could really hurt him.

I am to the point where if he calls me I tell him don't call me until you have found yourself and get off the devils drugs. I love him dearly with all my heart but you have to show tough love and I am sticking to my ground.

I just don't understand how some people that sell these drugs can have a conscience, they are killing innocent people.

Thanks,

Grace

Last edited by troubledchild; 05-01-2004 at 09:47 PM.

 
Old 05-01-2004, 11:08 PM   #9
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howard678 HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

His parents need help also for financially supporting, in high style it seems, a 37 year old. IMO they are partly responsible for his condition. Let him pay his own rent and buy his own drugs. Then maybe some will to get clean will eventually come. Forget the plush rehab, or rehab generally IMO. Their failure rates are in the 90% range and basically amount to charging 10 to 20 grand for AA meetings, something the original founders of that group would find repulsive.

 
Old 05-02-2004, 12:48 AM   #10
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Net2DaHoop HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Quote:
Originally Posted by troubledchild
I am to the point where if he calls me I tell him don't call me until you have found yourself and get off the devils drugs. I love him dearly with all my heart but you have to show tough love and I am sticking to my ground.
I've gotta pat you on the back for your post- it's tough to stick to your ground in times like this. You're a strong person for standing next to your friend in a time like this, not many people stick around unless they're on drugs too. Be strong, be persistent, and don't give up hope.
__________________
Attention Deficit Disorder. First of all, I resent the term. As far as I'm concerned most people have Attention Surplus Disorder. I mean, life being what it is, who can pay attention to anything for very long? Is it really a sign of mental health to be able to balance your checkbook, sit still in your chair, and never speak out of turn? As far as I can see, many people who don't have ADD are charter members of the Congenitally Boring.

 
Old 05-02-2004, 07:23 AM   #11
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troubledchild HB User
Arrow Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Well I just talked to my friends mother and she said that he himself is driving out to Sedona Arizona on Wednesday, it is going to take him 3 days to get there. He supposedly checked himself into this place.

I went on the web and checked out this place and they only have a 10 bed facility. I don't know about this one.

I really think it is at the end of my friends life but we will see. I think he is going to do something to kill himself or something, but hey, we all tried and there is nothing more we can do.

Once someone checks themselves in and doesn't show up to the facility is it a crime or not? Just wondering because he said that he was going but I don't feel he is going to go. I think he is just going to go for a week drive and probably kill someone on the way driving somewhere on his drugs.

This is it no more for me. I will talk to his mother later and tell her that I don't want to know anything else please don't tell me, because it is bringing me and my family down and hurting our lives. We don't need this, she is literally asking for our support and it is support that I can no longer give.

She is just going to have to deal with it.

Thanks all

Grace

 
Old 05-07-2004, 05:32 AM   #12
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troubledchild HB User
Angry Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Hi everyone,

Well, supposedly my friend left yesterday for that place in Sedona Arizona to get dried up, but now I really don't believe it.

His mother told me that the guy that is going with him, so I had talked to a mutual friend of our friend and he told me that the friend that is going with him is a very bad drug user, worse than my friend. Then my other friend told me that my friend called him and asked him for a bike rack because he was going on a sivatical(sp?).

I had called my friends mom yesterday and I wanted to see if I could find out all that was going on, all she told me was that he left with this guy and they will be there hopefully by Saturday. I asked how he was doing and she just blew me off. Now all of a sudden she doesn't want to talk anymore.

Every damn day she called me 3 or 4 times crying, I was there for her, now that her son is gone to go get help, I am not hearing from her. I had to call her.

I went over to her house last night for about half hour and gave her some of her favorite flowers for Mother's Day and she blew them off too. I was trying to be nice as usual.

I am so mad because all of this time I am trying to help, now that she got her help and he is gone, she doesn't want to talk anymore.

Then last night she has the nerve to tell me I am going to watch her dog because her and her husband are leaving for 2 days and the dog can't be left alone or in a kennel he goes crazy. I told her I am busy and then she was trying to make me feel bad telling me that she will have to take the dog to the vet so someone there can watch it. Mind you, last week I gave her 15 people that are dog babysitters. Well she doesn't want to do that because precious her will have to break out some of that million dollars to pay for a babysitter.

I see how this lady is now. She is a user, wants to get all she can from you then just drops you like nothing ever happened.


I am just so mad, I just needed to vent. I really am at my wits end.

Now I am wondering if she was ever trying to be a friend to me or just using me to get information about her son.

Grace

 
Old 05-10-2004, 06:25 PM   #13
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troubledchild HB User
Exclamation Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Hi Everyone,

Just want to let you all know that my friends mother called me today and told me that my friend had called her and told her that he is going to stay at a hotel for the night because they didn't have an open bed, which I know is a lie because she told me when he left the other day that the bed will be open Sunday and he was there today which would have made the bed open.

I would have called there to get information to see if he even signed up for the place but I am sure they would have given me no information.

His mother gave him $2,000 to give the place because they had to have that up front so, now there goes the money right to the drugs and he has no where to stay.

She told me today that it was nice having him gone, it was like a vacation to her. I am sure it feels good to her not having him around but for God's sake he has $2,000 of her money and now it is all gone I am sure.

Anyway, today I told her not to call me again because I can't go on living like this, my family is almost torn apart because of this. I told her that her son will never get off drugs and she told me that he will get off the drugs and that I was jealous of him. She is just mad because I have stopped helping him. I told her today to cut the umblical cord and she hung up on me. She is in so much denial it is pathetic.

I am glad to get this friend out of my life and let my own life move on.

Grace

 
Old 05-10-2004, 10:08 PM   #14
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DannDees HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

You are very smart for removing yourself from the situation..My ex-mother in law , who I love to death, drives me nuts. She always makes up excuses for her son. She turned her 3 car garage into his own little studio apt. I broke in and found his pipes, went into her house and woke her up for her to come look..She finally believed me and boarded up the windows and doors to his place. I thought she had woke up but he was back in, less then a week later. I know it has to be hard for parents, I can not say if I would have my kid on the streets but I do know that I would not give them cash money. Giving them money is like giving someone a gun who is suicidal. I did some crazy things trying to get my ex away from crystal meth. ( blocking driveways of drug houses with my car until he came out etc..) It only got me frustrated.It is very hard to watch someone you care about turn into a grungy person, so its best not to watch. You are doing the right thing...

 
Old 05-11-2004, 03:22 AM   #15
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Lilly1 HB User
Re: I am at my wits end with everything

Is it acceptable on the board to suggest Al-Anon or Nar-Anon? I am the mother of an alcoholic and have learned much. Look in the phone book. I am not only suggesting it for the family, but for YOU.
Good luck.

 
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