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Old 04-30-2004, 10:51 PM   #1
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MIchelle John 3:16

Michelle, I have so much I would like to say to you. I know 2 specific spiritual thoughts that really helped me get through it. I can share with you if you would like. When is your quit date? 2 weeks?

 
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Old 05-01-2004, 07:50 AM   #2
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Fire away!

Well, I'll run out of the subutex in about three weeks. We'll see what happens then.

I am assuming you find comfort in your faith, so, I'll share this with you. I have always been a very spiritual person, but as of lately it is like I have put God in the "backseat" and told Him to be quiet and not give me any "directions" as I KNOW THE WAY....uh hum! Very lost now!!!
Thing is, I can't really seem to "find my way back." For some reason, I won't pick my Bible, by devotional books, my journal, won't spend time in prayer....I feel like I don't know where to start...does this make sense?

Any advice would be appreciated!
Michelle

 
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Old 05-01-2004, 05:37 PM   #3
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

This makes sooo much sense. You know there can not be 2 people driving. He is a God that gives us free will. He is in the backseat waiting very patiently for you to invite him back up to the drivers seat..

Last edited by DannDees; 05-03-2004 at 02:51 AM.

 
Old 05-03-2004, 08:25 AM   #4
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Oh, I know this but why can't I seem to let go of the drivers seat?

I know I'll keep on being miserable until I "give it up," but just can't seem to?

Any advice on some "baby steps" to take?

Thanks,
Michelle

 
Old 05-03-2004, 08:43 AM   #5
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Quote:
Originally Posted by John 3:16
Oh, I know this but why can't I seem to let go of the drivers seat?

I know I'll keep on being miserable until I "give it up," but just can't seem to?

Any advice on some "baby steps" to take?

Thanks,
Michelle
michelle i was the same way going through w/d my first day off methadone i begged god to please make this as painless as possible and went through a living nightmare and thought he's not helping me at all but you know what now being 90 days off methadone i know he was right beside me the whole time even though i didnt think so because i never would have made it this far with out him always remember god does not give us anything he thinks we can't handle and just remember even if you don't pick up your bible and your at your worst he carrying you the whole time kelleigh

Last edited by no patience; 05-03-2004 at 08:43 AM.

 
Old 05-03-2004, 09:35 AM   #6
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Michelle,

I know a baby step you can take. One, would be put some thoughts in your head constantly about quitting and why you want to quit. Pray about it. I know how hard it is to get to that point, but think about what you have to lose. Life will come crashing down on you if you don't quit. Playing russian roulette with the life you now know it. I know because my life was normal once and it changed in ONE DAY and that was the day I gave birth to my 5th child and they took her away. Please think about that. Our lives were turned upside down, and I was ashamed, humiliated and disgusted with myself. I couldn't look at my husband or my children because I had failed them in a BIG WAY!

Hang in there, it's your turn! I'm on day 1 and trying to stay positive and "keep my eye on the prize".

 
Old 05-03-2004, 12:00 PM   #7
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Long story her but if you have time...In 1993 MY father killed himself. I found out my first love started doing drugs, he lost his job, I found out the next week I was pregnant with our second child..I let him hang around through my entire pregnancy thinking he would change..I worked an hour away from my house as a cocktail waitress in a casino(had to wear high heels). MY hours were 2a.m. to 10a.m...horrible hours, especially pregnant..Had to work up until I went into labor..Had to write a fake dr. note so I could return to work 3 days after baby was born because he was still not working..I finally got fed up and threw him out..I kept telling myself I am strong I will survive but not really beilieving it..One morning I was driving home from work and I had a flat on freeway..First it took me hard time to get the jack out..I jacked the car up then realized you had to loosen the bolts first, so then I jacked the car back down . I tried to loosen the bolts but they were rusted on..BY this time I am just mentally and physically drained from the past year of my life, and this tire incident was the final straw that sent me crazy. I started kicking the car and yelling at God "why me"..I said why have you left me..I was actually screaming on the side of the freeway..I screamed "whatever else you have bad for me give it to me now!!! I fell down into the passenger seat and started bawling..Just then a car pulled over..They fixed my tire gave me a hug and when I tried to give them money they said "absoulutely not we work for God and he doesn't want your money... The drive home was full of tears but now they were full of joyful tears, I knew he hadn't left me...I have not attended church since the year my father died..another long story..You do not need the bible, church or anything else for now..Just your faith...

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Old 05-03-2004, 01:34 PM   #8
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Thank you NP, KM, and DD!

I bought a little devotional book the other day ("Starting Your Day Out Right") mainly because of its short devotions- I told myself I KNOW I can atleast to this (it would take 10 minutes max)! If I could just get myself back into the habit....

I know one does not have to spend an hour a day reading the Bible or any other book to be close to God but it helps me so much to spend time with Him. For me, I need that! So, I am going to make it a point to try a read one of these a day and get things "back on track." Until I do, Iwon't have JOY. I may be happy every now and then, but will not have true JOY!!! Ya
know? Again, thanks for all your replies.

KM, how is day one going for you? PLEASE let me know! Hang in there- k?

Take care ya'll,
M

 
Old 05-03-2004, 02:01 PM   #9
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

I'm going to post an update on the other thread. :-)

 
Old 05-03-2004, 02:05 PM   #10
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Which one?

 
Old 05-03-2004, 02:07 PM   #11
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

"Made an important decision" thread.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 05:03 PM   #12
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Quote:
Originally Posted by John 3:16
Thank you NP, KM, and DD!

I bought a little devotional book the other day ("Starting Your Day Out Right") mainly because of its short devotions- I told myself I KNOW I can atleast to this (it would take 10 minutes max)! If I could just get myself back into the habit....

I know one does not have to spend an hour a day reading the Bible or any other book to be close to God but it helps me so much to spend time with Him. For me, I need that! So, I am going to make it a point to try a read one of these a day and get things "back on track." Until I do, Iwon't have JOY. I may be happy every now and then, but will not have true JOY!!! Ya
know? Again, thanks for all your replies.

KM, how is day one going for you? PLEASE let me know! Hang in there- k?

Take care ya'll,
M
your so welcome i'm glad to hear you're gonna get back on track and hope you are feeling better my thoughts are with you and remember so is god and i wish you all the happiness and joy you deserve kelleigh

Last edited by no patience; 05-04-2004 at 05:08 PM.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 02:23 PM   #13
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Michelle,
Just checking to see how you are doing, well I hope. Hang in there, This Sub sounds like a son-of-a-B to come off of. It just sounds like to me Sub and Methodone carry wicked W/D's. Again hope your are doing OK!

B

 
Old 05-08-2004, 10:31 AM   #14
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Hey Never!

Not doing the best in the world, so, made an appointment with the first addictionologist I ever saw for May 27. I talked with him on the phone the other day and explained my situation (with the sub and all) and he was very nice and we made the first available appointment. He wants me off the sub though. He says that it is a very powerful drug and is very hard to come off of and is going to switch me over to an Ultram taper....

I am a little nervous about the whole situation but looking forward to seeing him!

How are you??????????????????????


Michelle

 
Old 05-10-2004, 08:53 AM   #15
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Re: MIchelle John 3:16

Good to here from you Michelle! At least you have a plan and a doctor to help you through the taper. Everything is ok with me, mainly just fighting the mental cravings as usual. As you know it is a horrible feeling thinking of pills all the time. I can tell it is starting to become less and less often. Hopefully we are both in the last leg of this race called addiction. Just hang in there and keep your head up! I know we can and will overcome this!

B

 
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