I have found it very hard to post lately because my rehab has made me very depressed. But when I read Bankers post about her grandma and her depression it kicked me in the *** to get involved again. Lynn, you have written some very powerful responses to banker. That must have been such a sad situation for you with your mom and I can't imagine going through that myself.
Rosie - it sounds like you are kicking butt!!!! What a difference in your posts since you have come back from rehab. You are sounding so positive, busy, and active. And you are keeping up by going to meetings - boy it's a complete 360 from where you were. I hope you are
Michelle - it sounds like you are going in the right direction. I know I am one of the worlds biggest procrastinators and then when I finally decide to go for it and do whatever it is I've been procrastinating about I realize it isn't as bad as I thought. I know you have alot to think about if you go into rehab - kids, husband, etc. and I would never sit here and just say that you can find a way to make this happen because I don't know all your circumstances. But I am keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that if you do decide you want to go to rehab, all the other things fall into place to make that happen.
As for me, Im trying to hang on. My rehab for my total knee replacement has been going very slow, painful and frustrating for me. This week has been particularly bad and I just feel that I'm not making any progress. My therapist was here yesterday and made me feel a bit better. He also started to physically bend my knee with me which is very painful but will hopefully help. He wasn't going to start doing that until next week but because I was so discouraged he started now. He also showed Karyn how to do it too, but she is so afraid of hurting me. I've told her it is okay to just stop when I tell her too. We are going to try it today to see how it goes.
I am doing well straightening my leg but very poor at bending it. It is particularly frustrating when you are sitting there and your leg has been straight for awhile and you think hey I need to change position and stretch. So your brain tells your knee to bend and you go to do it and it doesn't happen. Then your brain is like "what the hell is going on here"!!
I then went through a trauma earlier in the week. I was running out of percocet, so I called the surgeon to refill it. That was no problem but I had to go there because they can't call in a narcotic, it has to be on a presciption. So then I was thinking that I was going to run out of oxycontin next week, so I might as well have him fill that too since I had to get up there for the other prescription. So I called back to have them fill that one too. A short time later, one of the office staff called me back and said "Dr. Shalvoy does not fill Oxycontin". So I said ever or just for me? And he said ever. So I said what am I suppose to do because the visiting nurse said I can't go from 60 mgs a day to nothing or I'll go through withdrawal. He said he'd speak to the doctor and call me back (funny he told me all of this without speaking to the doctor first!). He called back in a couple of hours and said that the doctor said he would not refill it and that because I was still on percocet, and it's the same thing as oxycontin, I would not go through withdrawals. I just said fine and hung up.
I was so upset because yes oxycontin has the same ingrediant has percocet but much stronger, so how can you tell me stopping that but not increasing the percocet, I would not have withdrawals? So I called my primary physician the next day who I love tremendously. I explained to the receptionist that I'd like to speak to her for a couple of reasons. Once is because I'm still taking iron twice a day because I needed 4 blood transfusions after the surgery but no one is following up on that blood work. Then I explained the oxycontin situation. The receptions says "well I would believe the advice of a surgeon over a visiting nurse". But she was going to give my doc the message.
Within the hour my doctor called back and I explained everything to her. She said she absolutely agreed with the visiting nurse and that I can't just stop that medication cold. So she wrote me a prescription to continue the tapering dose. I'll begin a second week next week of 30 mgs. twice a day, then one week of 20 mgs. twice a day and finally one week of 10 mgs twice a day and then she said "we'll see where you are at then to decide what to do next". Thank God I found her. I have had such horrible luck with primary doctors and then I found her about 4 years ago and I am so lucky to have such a knowledgable and caring doctor.
I still haven't made an AA meeting because I have so much trouble getting into cars with me knee not bending. I spoke with my temporary sponsor the other night and told her that come hell or high water I am going to the meeting on Sunday morning. She is speaking for her 10 year anniversary of sobriety and I don't want to miss it. Plus it's my "home meeting' and I am really getting antsy about not being there. So she is going to pick me up and said if she has to she'll strap me to the roof!
Well I've rambled enough for now. Hope everyone is doing as well as they can.