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Old 05-09-2004, 11:44 AM   #1
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Join Date: May 2004
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fisherpard HB User
What would you do if you were me??

I am a 42 year old male who has numerous problems. I have several chronic health problems, diabetes, HBP, Fibromyalgia, chronic diverticulitus and worst of all depression. My meds include oral diabetic med, Effexor, High blood pressure med, Ritalinxr 20mg 3x day, Klonipin and Zyprexa for nighttime sleep.

Ritalin helps depression for only a short period of time but does give me a little energy. I have been treatment resistant on antidepressents and have tried them all.
However, Here comes the real story. About 5 years ago I was prescribed Ultram for Fibro pain and had a endless supply of them. Of course you all know I started abusing them. They quit working "euphoric feeling" about a year ago. I then started using Tylox, Loratab, Darvocet and anything they would give me. As you all know, you don't get a endless supply of those. I only get a few at a time and they last a short time because I abuse them.

When I have my painkillers I seem to loose my depression, however when I run out I almost greive them. They are like a mistress to me. I am destroying my life and my family.

I have gone as long as a couple of months without painkillers and am so depressed that I hardly function. I don't know if the painkillers are causing my depression or I use them to help my depression.

Right now I am extremely depressed and have run out of ideas on what I should do. I have thought about rehab but I am so scared that being clean will only make my depression worse.

I feel hopeless and helpless. My life is terrible. I don't know which came first the depression or the addiction. What would you do?? The sad part of this is I really am in constant pain from the fibro. However, i would take the pain over the depression anyday.

all help is appreciated,
fisherman

 
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Old 05-09-2004, 12:23 PM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: west coast
Posts: 135
over HB User
Re: What would you do if you were me??

Yes, sometimes the depression does accompany the "opiate" high. I did notice that quite a bit when I was on 30+ a day habit of hydros. I also loved the hydros as an "anti-depressant" because it made me happy. I'm actually 3 weeks free from pain pills! What a struggle that was.

Are you ADD? Is that why you are prescribed Ritalin in addition to everything else?

I hate to say this, but exercise helps. 99% of the time, I was feeling depressed, lonely, stressed out, upset, unhappy, mad, grouchy, moody, or bitchy I exercised and always felt better. The endorphin thing is better than any anti-depressant can EVER supply you.

Take care.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 03:21 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: FLORIDA
Posts: 916
chefob1 HB User
Re: What would you do if you were me??

im an opiate addict and have been for years...sounds like you are strugglin with addiction/depression and now have found some dependancy on opiates....it is adding to your exsisting problems....try to stay away or it will complicate things greatly....chemical problems are just that...chemical problems...soon you will find you need the pain meds to function or youll go into deep w/d's which you dont need plus you saifd its destroying your life....you dont need the extra aggravation...try to do the least amount of meds....shoot,i thought zprexa was for schcizo mania....talk frankly with your doc....be rfrank with your family if you are finding addiction to the pain meds...hit some a/a or n/a mtgs.......ritalin is keeping you up,klonopin is keepin you down...throw in the effexor....yeah,i wouldnt feel right either.....chef

 
Old 05-10-2004, 04:31 AM   #4
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: boston,mass.usa
Posts: 466
sadsister HB User
Re: What would you do if you were me??

Hi-
I agree w/ the chef-its a weird mix-I would research on the web-what you are taking-and i know-cause im being treated for depression/addiction.
I got a lively mix too..but its working ok.
Im not nearly as depressed when i was coming off opiates.
Please talk to your doctor..
The reason you feel so depressed when you run out of opiates cos you probably have become dependent on the "euphoria"-and its addictive qualities.
You might want to consider a differant anti-depressant-and if you have bi-polar..anti deprssants can be very agitating.
Good luck-keep us posted.
Heather

 
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