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Old 05-20-2004, 08:56 AM   #1
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John 808 HB User
Exclamation KalleighsMom!!!!!!

Hey there!

How are things going? Are you still "hydro free?" Would love for you to share what is going on with you! Have thought about you often these last couple of days- hope to hear from you!

Take care and God bless,
michelle

 
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Old 05-20-2004, 11:37 AM   #2
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kayleighsmom HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

Hi

Thanks for thinking of me. Just been lurking every now and then. Cancer is back but I'm still hydro free. (Tested clean! Yeah!) Pain is pretty intense and I'm trying to deal with it. If I start treatment before I gain some weight back, I don't have much of a chance. Down a few more pounds last time I checked. It was 85, I think. Trying to eat, but feel so much nausea related to the pain it's difficult.

Had a hearing about the baby. Judge was pretty harsh and said that I was not strong enough physically, he didn't think, to get the baby back and also because of the demands of the other children. We're working on a plan to have a nanny come in and help. Lots of lawyer talking, etc. and should have her back by next Friday at the latest!! How awesome is that?!

I don't know what the future holds for us... for now I'll be happy to hold my daughter again and be there as much as I can for the kids.

 
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Old 05-20-2004, 05:11 PM   #3
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John 808 HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

Hey!

If you don't mind me asking- where is the cancer? Are you saying- you need to gain weight before starting treatment (b/c doesn't that make you sick?)? I am terribly sorry for that news! You try to stay positive and FIGHT WITH EVERY OUNCE OF YOUR BEING!

And how awesome are you for staying clean admist the pain, but if you don't mind me asking (again) what will you do for instense cancer pain? Seems pretty harsh of someone telling you you can't have your baby because of pain relieving drugs but yet you have cancer? I don't understand how it is anyone's place to make that decision. Now, I do think a nanny, under your circumstances, would be great! You do need help...heck...I would love some help! LOL!!!!!

Awesome news as well about getting your baby soon! I know you are elated!

Again, stay strong, lean on God, and post me ANYTIME you need to talk!
Hugs and love,
Michelle

 
Old 05-21-2004, 04:42 AM   #4
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no patience HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kayleighsmom
Hi

Thanks for thinking of me. Just been lurking every now and then. Cancer is back but I'm still hydro free. (Tested clean! Yeah!) Pain is pretty intense and I'm trying to deal with it. If I start treatment before I gain some weight back, I don't have much of a chance. Down a few more pounds last time I checked. It was 85, I think. Trying to eat, but feel so much nausea related to the pain it's difficult.

Had a hearing about the baby. Judge was pretty harsh and said that I was not strong enough physically, he didn't think, to get the baby back and also because of the demands of the other children. We're working on a plan to have a nanny come in and help. Lots of lawyer talking, etc. and should have her back by next Friday at the latest!! How awesome is that?!

I don't know what the future holds for us... for now I'll be happy to hold my daughter again and be there as much as I can for the kids.
km i'm so happy that you're hydro free i hope you get you're baby back soon and like michelle said lean on god and i'll be praying for you thats also great about getting a nanny you definitly could use some help in your situaton keep us posted ok luv kelleigh

Last edited by no patience; 05-21-2004 at 12:20 PM.

 
Old 05-21-2004, 05:37 AM   #5
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Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

I'm praying for you... It's bittersweet... you're getting Kayleigh but I can't believe the cancer? How long have you tested clean for cancer? When was the last time you had treatment? And why on earth are you so light? Do you have a good oncologist? He needs to be giving you stuff to get your weight back up.

You've beaten this before and you will again. Every time the pain is at its most intense, just try to hold your baby and know how happy she will be to grow up with HER MOMMY! This is going to be the toughest fight you've ever fought but children are our most inspiration and trust in God to hold you up through this. You can't do it alone. You have to turn your sobriety AND the cancer over to God. Let him help you fight this. Please keep posting and eat, eat, eat!!!!!

 
Old 05-21-2004, 07:07 AM   #6
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kayleighsmom HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

Thanks for everyone's concern and prayers!

The short story is that I had a small tumor in my brain and started having seizures. Didn't want to do the evasive surgery cause it really was very small. I have weird, intense, burning pains shooting all down my arms, legs and back which is, I guess, not typical of this type of cancer. Did the chemo thing and it looked like the tumor was gone, still had lots of pain. Started getting treated by my old GP for the pain since nobody could really find a reason as to why I was still having it. Big mess as the GP disappeared when the whole baby thing happened. Guess he felt compassion towards me, but he had retired and wasn't supposed to be using his DEA #

That mess has since been straightened out with the help of the pharmacist and GPs old secretary. Now the question is not whether I'm an addict and did something illegal, it is Is my health going to damage the children? Bogus, and it was just some snide remark by an uncaring d*psh*t of a judge so I'm not sure if he plans on doing anything to intervene with next week. Ironic, since they found another small tumor (growing in the same place, DUH!) there's no question that I need pain management hence baby's return next week but now I have to deal with treatments again.

I still don't know if I'm an addict or was just labeled by the "higher powers". It was an interesting discussion about will power and being powerless. The only trouble I had stopping the pain meds was the pain actually. I never went to schedule II drugs even though they probably would have helped me and I wouldn't have had to take so many of the hydros. I actually did get permission to take pain meds from the dr under supervision of my oncologist. Gee, judge, well thank you very much! I'm holding off until I get the baby back. Don't want to take any chances.

I've been drinking protein drinks to try and get my weight back up. When you get this low it's a very difficult thing to gain weight back. I swear I'm so fatigued bring fork to mouth is rough! I've got fight in me though and I plan on pushing through this as much as I can.

Sorry for rambling. There's obviously so much more to the story than just this, but you get the gist of it.

 
Old 05-21-2004, 08:56 AM   #7
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Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

God bless you... I don't know how you do it/have done it.

We should all think of your story when we bit&^ and moan about our own lives. You are an inspiration! I mean it.

 
Old 05-21-2004, 12:24 PM   #8
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Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

oh my gosh i read your post early this morning and completly overlooked the part that you should have kayleigh back by friday at the latest that is awesome i'm so excited for you you must be so happy to put it mildly keep us posted i can't wait do you mean like today friday i'm so thrilled hugs (((((((((((kayleighs mom))))))))))))))) and you hang in there you can beat this ok luv kelleigh

 
Old 05-21-2004, 12:47 PM   #9
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rosietee HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

God bless you!! Please keep us posted. As a mom, I feel like I'm getting my baby back in a way--my heart was breaking as I can't stand the thought of you 2 being separated and am just thrilled that you guys will be getting back together. I know you will be very busy, but please try and keep us posted. You are in my prayers.

luv,
rosie

 
Old 05-21-2004, 02:40 PM   #10
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kayleighsmom HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

You are not going to believe this, but I just got a surprise visit from the social worker. I guess to inspect the house and children. She found the house immaculate and the kids doing their homework with a nice hot pot of stew on the stove. She said would it be alright if she brought the baby home tonight around 7-8 o'clock?? YOU BETCHA IT WOULD!

Boy am I glad I had it "together" today! I'll keep you all updated when I can!

 
Old 05-21-2004, 03:37 PM   #11
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rosietee HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

Way to go!!!!!! Boy, you do have it together. More than me, it sounds like. I am so so so so so happy for you and your baby too.

luv,rosie

 
Old 05-21-2004, 04:11 PM   #12
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Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

I absolutely cannot believe it! See.... God is watching out for you and taking care of you! I'm tremendously happy for you!!!!! Now, just make sure your hubby (and I know he will) helps you with all five of those sweet miracles. Try not to over do anything! Enjoy your sweetie... And EAT!

 
Old 05-21-2004, 05:11 PM   #13
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John 808 HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER FOR YOU!!!!

One down, one more to go! You will get through this illness- K? Look where you were weeks ago and where you are now! What an inspiration!

Give that sweet baby girl lots of hugs and kisses (from all of us)!!!!

M

 
Old 05-21-2004, 06:36 PM   #14
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kayleighsmom HB User
Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

You guys, I'm a bundle of nerves right now! No baby yet. Of course, she isn't going to know me and that's going to be rough. One day at a time applies here too I suppose. Can't wait for them to get here!

 
Old 05-22-2004, 05:47 AM   #15
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Re: KalleighsMom!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kayleighsmom
You guys, I'm a bundle of nerves right now! No baby yet. Of course, she isn't going to know me and that's going to be rough. One day at a time applies here too I suppose. Can't wait for them to get here!
i can't wait either i'm so excited it's natural you'd be bundle of nerves but just try to relax if you can you sound like a very good mother you actually went off medication you needed to get her back you are such a strong person she is just gonna luv you how old is she if you don't mind my asking ? she may not remember you but just take it one day at a time like you mentioned and before you know it you'll have that awesome mother daughter bond with her I'M SO HAPPY I CAN'T WAIT HUGS AND PRAYERS!!!!!!!! KELLEIGH

Last edited by no patience; 05-22-2004 at 05:49 AM.

 
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