I finally understand all the frustration that my friends and family felt when I was using. I have 4 months clean, and the other day, I decided to go see my best friend, whom Ive avoided for sometime due to the fact that she smokes marijuana and uses meth recreationally. I didnt want to chance my sobriety by being around that, though I was never a big pot smoker, I have an addictive personallity. She refrained from smoking while I was there, which I appreciated. However, a friend of ours came over, (Cole) I was excited to see him (at first) since I havent seen him in over a year, he was one of my best friends, we lost our other best friend (Donald) to an oxycontin overdose, and we burried him on Coles birthday. Since then Cole has kind of gone off the deep end, living where ever someone lets him crash, cant keep a job....well, the other day when I seen him, I gave him a hug, and he smelled foul of body odor, he seemed alright, he was there about 30 minutes and asked to take a shower. When he got out of the shower, I went in there to pick up his towel, and noticed a syringe behind the toilet. At first I didnt say anything because I didnt know if it was my friends or Coles, I confronted my friend and she was upset, we asked cole, and he admitted that he has been using meth like this for almost 7 months. And also said that he hadnt been to sleep in 4 days!! He begged us not to be mad at him. Thats when I realized that I wasnt mad at him, I was worried, I dont want to lose him the same way I lost Donald, and I thought that Donalds death would help him, and he wouldnt make the same mistakes, but he doing exactly was Donald was doing (shooting meth, and taking OC to come down) I told him what I was told once by Donald, "No one can ask you to change, but one day you will be in the right place at the right time and someone will say just the right thing to you, and you will want to quit, until then it will be an everyday battle, but you will eventually lose the war." Cole went home the next day, and beat up pretty badly, his money and drugs were stolen and he wound up in the hospital. Cole is now in a rehab.....I want to ask everyone to pray for him, I pray that he is in there because he wants to be and not because he has to be, because as addicts we know that it has to be OUR choice, otherwise its useless.
Thanks for Listening
I will pray for you and ALL of your friends, I lost my last friend Zach from mixing meth and oxycodone a few months ago and theres a bit of shame behind that. But since Ive been on this board for a LOOOONG time and I keep saying the same thing, "There is no such thing as an addcitive personality!" Obsession and Compulsion are not personality traits. Generous, Nice, Humorous, Outgoing, those are personality traits
lyn, Hi I aam glad your friend is in rehab and I agree it is a choise. I will say extra prayer s for all of you. please be careful being new in recovery you some times think yoou are invisible to useing again. Trusst from exspereance you are not I had to cut every one outta of my life I am not saying you should do that just please watch your step.