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Old 05-31-2004, 05:56 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 25
SimplyStupid HB User
WHY can I not STOP??

I dont post much mainly because I can't stick to getting off these dang pills. I run out and say this is it.....Just like Saturday, I had 12 vics (7.5) and took them all. So today is just Monday afternoon and I couldnt take it. I don't know what to do. Does anybody feel the same? Its the lethargy that gets me everytime. I can't make it from the bed to the couch when I don't have pills. I get so tired of laying around in pain that I work up a way to get some. Tell me in detail what to do? How do I tell myself that it will surely be better. Like, Sunday I didnt have anything and I kept telling myself that tomorrow I would be better--yeah right, no way....I still feel like crap. So any way, what can I do to get off of these things? Im so tired of it all.

 
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Old 05-31-2004, 06:10 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,193
Banker HB User
Re: WHY can I not STOP??

You can't do it by yourself. You obviously know you are powerless over these pills. You either need to get to detox (if possible) or get to AA/NA. Give these meetings a chance... We are all addicts and we simply cannot do it by ourselves.

There was a post about 2 months ago explaining how and why we can't stop taking pills. It explained that once we screw up our brain receptors by abusing pain meds... then your brain (YOU) actually thinks that it needs drugs more than food. This is why people end up stealing and doing anything they can for drugs. Makes sense, doesn't it? You've GOT to go get help... you cannot do this on your own. But if you attend meetings and/or go to detox... then you will have a support system and you will not be alone. You CAN do this. How bad is your habit? Is 12 the maximum you are taking? I'm imagining that is NOt the case... the only reason why you took 12 is because that's all that you had.

I'm on Suboxone... I'm sure if you've been reading this board, then you know what that is. If not, let me know and I'll explain. Get the courage to go and ask for help. You will get it and with help, you can definitely stay on top of this addiction and not let it control you anymore... think about it and keep us posted!

 
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Old 05-31-2004, 06:17 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: ky
Posts: 987
spark-o-cet HB User
Re: WHY can I not STOP??

if there was an easy way to get off opiates then this board would not be here.if i had a quick fix off gettin clean then i would be a millionare.but this does not exist.the only way to get clean and off pills after you are addicted is to hit rock bottom and make up your mind not to use opiates anymore not even one pill.the only way to truley get clean is quit takin the opiates and let time do the rest.this will be the hardest thing that you have ever done in your life so get ready for it.havin babys does not even come close to what you will have to go thru to get and stay clean.a bad case of the flu does not compare to what you are gonna have to go thru.i will take the worst case of flu anyday over pill withdraws cause you know it will end in a few days.some people can never stay clean so this is why there are methadone clinics set up around the country.dont know what else to say other than good luck and hope you can make it over the hump i have not been able to do it yet after 6years of abuse-spark

 
Old 05-31-2004, 07:21 PM   #4
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 207
Murphy555 HB User
Re: WHY can I not STOP??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Banker

I'm on Suboxone... I'm sure if you've been reading this board, then you know what that is. If not, let me know and I'll explain.
Banker,

Could you please tell me how much suboxone you are taking?

I'm wondering if my headaches and anxiety that I feel (that I didn't feel before) has to do with my dose. At 12 mg/day, I was fine, now at 8 mg, I'm having these problems. Unfortunately, this new Dr. is away until I see him next month, while I don't want to go against his wishes, I find myself taking 2-4 mg extra on some days, as I did before, and cutting them in quarters vs. taking a dose 2X/day.

Plus I have a refill for 8 mg/day. I'd like to talk to him about upping the dose by 4mg/day right now, but I don't want to seem like I'm telling him what to do. I can only tell him my symptoms under the dose he has given me.

Do you think that's possible. It seems to help the headaches when I take it throughout the day, and a little bit higher dose. I can call him in 2 weeks and let him know this, but I don't want to seem non-compliant with his directions...

Murphy

 
Old 06-01-2004, 05:47 AM   #5
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: boston,mass.usa
Posts: 466
sadsister HB User
Re: WHY can I not STOP??

That first post is for Nellie-
This ones for Simply-
First honey-your posting name-is such a put down to yourself-i understand-but you are not stupid-you are an addict.
Like me-and most who post here as regulars-we are people-whos chemistry has been messed w/ enough that we have become addicted physically/emotionally...
There is a reason methadone/suboxone is available to us-the ones who tried to get off this-but can't..on our own.
You seem like a good candidate for the sub-it really has given-Kimbee/Banker/and me-a chance to get some time off-and some perspective-it is a holding pattern-but its also-a relief-a break-from the on/off cycle-that never seems to end.
I understand the lethagy issue-cos thats what got me every time-i just never seemed to come out of it-except for the time i really did get some substantial sober time(almost 2 years)-i was back to normal-after 2-3 months-but got very depressed for a year-and relapsed.
Id check it out-or perhaps the detox route and an outpatient program to get you thru that crucial first month-
sound reasonable???
peace-
Heather

 
Old 06-01-2004, 08:47 AM   #6
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 53
X User HB User
Re: WHY can I not STOP??

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyStupid
I dont post much mainly because I can't stick to getting off these dang pills. I run out and say this is it.....Just like Saturday, I had 12 vics (7.5) and took them all. So today is just Monday afternoon and I couldnt take it. I don't know what to do. Does anybody feel the same? Its the lethargy that gets me everytime. I can't make it from the bed to the couch when I don't have pills. I get so tired of laying around in pain that I work up a way to get some. Tell me in detail what to do? How do I tell myself that it will surely be better. Like, Sunday I didnt have anything and I kept telling myself that tomorrow I would be better--yeah right, no way....I still feel like crap. So any way, what can I do to get off of these things? Im so tired of it all.
SS, how many days have you gone without taking pills? My guess is no more than two, right? It is similar to quitting smoking...the first two days are somewhat bearable, but it is the third that is the toughest. I think one of the reasons as to why it is so hard to quit is that in our minds, the tradeoff between feeling horrible versus feeling euphoric is no contest. Plus, that decision on day one, two or three as to whether to fully commit to quitting is made while your brain is still saturated with opioids. To "get off of these things", in my opinion, takes a good scare or a rock bottom incident...one in which your thinking process can truly process what you are doing to yourself, your health, your family, your career, your money, your possessions, your freedom...everything that matters, and everything you will eventually loose if you cannot find a way to break the addiction. You must decide to end this cycle, and use whatever means you think necessary to do so, whether it be checking into rehab, attending meetings, whatever. You must decide to end this cycle that has no positive outcome in the long term.

 
Old 06-01-2004, 08:53 AM   #7
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: california
Posts: 121
jenny1973 HB User
Re: WHY can I not STOP??

Simply...
I really think you need to give detox a chance. I would have never been able to do this on my own. I tried many times and always caved. Its not you its the addiction. The only way you will be able to give your body the time it needs to heal is to keep yourself away from the drugs. You can't have the option to take another pill. Plus they keep you so sedated you don't even realize your not taking pills anymore. The withdrawls wern't too bad either. I only had a hard time the first night I was there and they just gave me more medication to knock me out. After you get thru that first week you will start to see that things are getting better. You still won't feel normal, but a light will come on that tells you ok I feel better today that I felt yesterday. Because I could feel that i was motivated to keep going. It was really hard I won't lie. Also being in detox i went to alot of meetings and groups where I learned so much about this disease. Being educated on this is also really important. Go to meetings and meet other people in your shoes. That helped me alot. Luckily my addiction wasn't way out of control, but I met women in there 60's who were a complete mess physically and emotionally. It really helped me see what could happen to myself and that scared me. Its still a challenge everyday, but its not hard. I am very thankful to be off these pills. I actually hurt myself a couple weeks ago and a friend offered me a vicodin (he only has them cause he broke his arm) and I actually thought about it, but was able to say no thanks, but do you have any advil? I would have never thought I would be able to say those words...ask for advil? are you kidding me? Believe it or not it did take away the pain. It really is just getting thru that first 30 days but you have to be ready and you have to have support. Doesn't matter if you get it from family or meetings. You really can do this! Also..I don't know much about sub,, but it does seem to work for alot of people.
Jenny

 
Old 06-02-2004, 07:53 PM   #8
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 98
Guitar Lover HB User
Re: WHY can I not STOP??

I am not powerless to anything!! I allowed myself to take that attitude and I felt so weak. When I realized I was in control no matter what and that I had allowed myself to take more pills than I was perscribed, ( its a much longer story) it was now time to kick myself in the butt and straighten up. I did. ( Another longer story of try, fail, try, back slide, try and finally succeed.) I was out of control for almost two years and was able to get ahold of my actions. If I can, anyone can. You don't have to bow down and think that you have no control because you do. Do not give up, fight, win and come out on top. Where does this message that "you are powerless" come from? I would assume its AA or NA. How is this a positive message? I see this quote too much and just wonder where it comes from.
RC

 
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