It has been a long haul for me , I have my moments with my cravings. At times I think just one pill. I just push that thought out of my head. There are times when the cravings are so strong I find it hard some days to push the feelings away. Then I go for a long walk.
There are times ( and I know this is part of the depression step ) when I think I could get much more done in life when I was popping white pills. Productive while I was working ---- the last week has sucked big time for me.
Nothing really matters now.......yuck! I need to get over the this step. I know I will never use again.
Put those F_ _ Kin pills were so good ! At least I thought they were. The power of VIKES.
It has been almost 2 mos. since I have popped my last pill.
Each and everyone of us must never touch another pill ....we can never give in to the power of pills.
everyday..
I can completely relate to what you are going thru. I am almost 2 months clean and I feel the same at times, but then I think about how I was when I was using. Always worried about how I was gonna get my next refill, spending a ton of money, crazy mood swings and most of all that agonizing feeling if I was every gonna be able to quit. Just knowing that those pills no longer control my life makes being clean well worth it. I do sometimes wish I had those pills too. I think we will always want for them, but when you know what they can do to your life and your familys life you just forget about it..not worth it at all for what a 1 hour high. I don't know..it gets hard for me when I have alot to do with the kids or house or whatever. Even if I have a social gathering to go to I think it would be much funner if I had a pill to take, but owell thats just not reality for me. We got thru the roughest part of it really. I know when I was in the midst of withdrawls it would have been so easy to start using again, but now that I have made it this far and actually feel normal again that feeling of using goes away really quick. I never wanna be in rehab again or go thru all that emotional and physical discomfort again. On top of that I never wanna put my family thru this again. Just keep focusing on the fact that you did it..your off these pills. Like Rockingham said...don't look back EVER! You have alot to live for and pills arn't one them. You are doing great!!
Jenny
this is just my crazy thinkin but i believe that once you have been addicted to pills for a few years that once we do quit and get clean that not a day will go by that you will not think about pills at least once.the brain does not forget and it is a struggle to not listen to it.but it can be done.philster has done it but he did say that he thought about pills everyday since bein clean-spark
Thank guys , It is very hard. I will try to not look back.
I have saved tons on money within the last 6 weeks which is excellent for me -- I was s[ending up to 400.00 a week for my habit. I just can not image spending that kind of money now - all that money what a waste.
I took my last pill 4-16-04 / that was the week I went from 20 a day to 0 a day within 5 days ...tough road, it was very hard --especially with working on top of it and not letting anyone know of what I was going through ---except the board. There was one member who helped me alot ...He is full information to help you stop. user is his name. I truly believe it is all up to you to stop the madness. The board is a start ..after reading everyones posts I realized I am not the only one on this earth with same fears .
Jen, I agree with you, I never want to go through emotional and physical discomfort again.
T, Everything is great, thanks. I just got back from sailing, which was wonderful, and then enjoyed the second half of the Pistons game. I'll buy you a Coke anytime you want! G
