I have not had a chance to read through all of the posts, but will start in the morning (pretty late now). Just wanted to drop in and update everyone who has kept me in their thoughts and prayers.
I had my biopsy the Monday before last and had to go back that Friday for excessive bleeding and let them do some "repair work." In the meantime, had a blood clot move down my leg and dissapate in my heel which left it bruised, swollen, and unable to walk on (try chasing after a 6, 4, and 2 year old on "one leg" )! My biopsy showed that the cancer was contained in a small area and will go in this coming Monday for outpatient surgery to remove it (just so thankful it had not spread to my uterus which would have resulted in an hysterectomy)! Am thankful things turned out so well but will be glad when this is all over with! I appreciate so much your concern and support throughout all this.
BUT, the most important thing, I have stayed clean throughout all of this! WOW! I did take pain meds (4) after my biopsy which was approved by my addictionologist and assured from him that this didn't mean I had relapsed as this was legit pain. Am so thankful to God!
I have missed ya'll so much and am anxious to catch up with each of you! Did read a couple of posts and want to say to BCB- I am so proud you took a horrible situation (abuse and addiction) and used it so we to help others- you are indeed a strong women with a purpose on this earth! DallasAlice- so wonderful to hear you have a plan! I am sorry for "leaving you hanging" but was afraid I wouldn't be of much help to ANYONE throughout all of this. But, you didn't need me afterall........ you did what you had to do all by yourself and I am so proud of you. Before you know it, you'll be helping other people with their own addictions! Hydroqueen- how are you and where are you with your sobriety? Fill me in! Sarandipidy- how are you as well? And Banker? And Heather? And Lisa? And Best Friend? And Jen? And, I guess, how are you men out there? And, my sweet, sweet, Lynn! Anxious to hear from my liberal friend (can I get a shout out for George W.!!!! sorry, Lynn, couldn't resist! You know I love ya!!!!) We are kindred spirits, huh, Lynn? LOL!
Okay, ya'll, FILL ME IN WITH YOU GUYS! Have missed you! Anxiously awaiting! Hugs,
Michelle (or Scarlett- hey, I told ya'll a few days ago that this firey southerner is hard to keep down- was I right or what? LOL!)
Sooo happy for you michelle,it really sounds good overall and even better, it sounds like you are handling things extremely well under the circumstances.You sound so strong in this post,i am so very proud of you.just keep on hangin in there and above all, keep the positive additude!!Additude is everything you know.it can get you through some really horrible situations, trust me.things are going pretty well with me considering all that has been going on with me and my son lately.He started back at school yesterday(only half days for the next few weeks)and has been making progress.This keeps me hopeful that he will recover most of himself again as time goes on here.He still has therepy twice a week and they say he is doing extremely well so far, and is even a little bit ahead of where they actually expected him to be at this point.He is still having headaches espescially when he first wakes up in the morning but they seem to be lessening in intensity,so that is a big relief.We are all just goin with the flow here and hopin for the best,which is about all we can really do right now.I hope things continue to go well for you Michelle and the surgery is quick and painless and solves the big issues for you.then, you can start concentrating more on your recovery.it sounds like you are doing all the right things and that all is where it should be considering the situation you are dealing with.I will continue to send those positive thoughts your way and include you in my prayers.things will all work out for you eventually Michelle, it is just going to take a little time.Take care hon, marcia
Thank God you are doing ok. I am so happy to hear this news. Being sober thru it all is even better news. I am still hanging in there. Still craving. I
am beginning to think that symptom will never go away. I am at work and
will write more later but wanted to let you know I was thrilled with your
update and the FACT THAT YOU HAVE REMAINED SOBER THROUGHOUT!!!!
I knew you could and I new you would. Love ya and I'll check in later.
Hello to everyone else, also.
How strange that you were the first one to reply as I lay in bed last night and thought of a couple of people I neglected to mention (you being one) and was going to address you this morning (but you beat me to the boards)! I am so proud to hear of your son's road to "recovery" (a different kind of recovery- LOL)! I know each day may hold a different "challenge" but I feel certain that you are strong and secure and will handle whatever may come your way with the utmost of determination and will to see your son recover fully! My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you! Continue to hang in there and God bless!
Can't wait for you to "really" fill me in! So glad you are clean but sorry you are still craving (I do occassionally). This just takes time which is hard for an addict to "grasp" and deal with- don't ya think? Are you experiencing any depression and/or lethargy? That is what is the hardest thing on me, but my addictionologist started me on Wellbutrin and I am doing better! When you have time, "let her rip-" K?
It is good to see you on the board. I have seen numerous outcries for you, and you must know that you really do make a difference to people here that trust what you have to tell them. I believe you are destined to make a difference in alot of people lives. I am glad to hear that you are getting relief from your scare. I don't mean to make light of it, however I was picturing a women running after three small children with a bad heel and it made me smile as, we both know that children know when they can take advantage of us. God Bless
Great to see your familiar name again alongside the threads! I understand how it is just a matter of time for certain things, and when the timing feels right, then whatever it is a poster wants or needs to say seems to come out more naturally...not forced. So although I understand the need for you to have taken your hiatus, I'm very glad to see you are back on the board.
You do sound so much better than when you were in the waiting stage of finding out what you would be going through--so as I understand it, it's surgery to remove cancer that appears contained and no evidence of spreading, and outpatient on top of it...that is so wonderful, Michelle. Having had my cervical cancer, I'm biting my tongue (or typing fingers?!?) to keep from asking all the details--the wheres, whats, hows, and whys--but I know that is all moot and all that matters is you are getting things taken care of and maintaining staying clean throughout.
That is probably not the way it would have been if going by last year's posts from the girl behind the user name John 3:16--but truth be told, in all those back and forth, up and down weeks and months you went through, I always felt while reading from afar, that you would do it, and when you did, it would be with a resolve so strong that you could even deal with something like this yet still keep your "eye on the prize" !
While you were away, you were surely missed and needed, but I just wanted to tell you that I--and I doubt if anyone else--feels that you have to be in "uplifting, and advice-giving" mode to write in this place every time. Don't you tell others to bring their fears and tears, advice and questions, venting and just thinking out loud to the board so they can "be heard" while going through whatever is on their mind at the time? I hope with all that is going on in your mind, you will consider sharing (up to the point of what feels comfortable for you, of course,) how you are doing as you go through all this.
So proud of and happy for you...
p.s. And Michelle...please try not to be hard on yourself. I can almost see it now, 3 days post-op, at the pool and then home to clean up the kids and make dinner! As much as I know you want this to be over and get back to your life and routine, DON'T DO THAT!!! Take care of yourself and try not to stress about the house and all--remember, you have a dr's note this time saying it's okay for you to take sick days...LOL! Really, though, take it easy kiddo! (isn't your family close by to help out? If so, let them!)
Last edited by DallasAlice; 07-30-2004 at 10:22 PM.
Oh yeah! Kept waiting and checking to see if you had responded, Dallas! Good to hear "your voice!"
You are right in that I need to learn to "receive" as well as "give." Have always felt that "nuturing" was my gift from God and sometimes forget that I am human too and need to be nutured as well at times. Will try to work on that!
I am anxious to hear your plan- just share when your feel ready to! Hey, didn't someone say come to the boards to share their fears and tears and questions and the mere need to vent? Who was that? All in due time, huh? I am so happy you are taking steps towards getting better- they may be leaps and bounds or they may be baby steps (as I did.....several times.....LOL) but, never-the-less, they are steps! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! I hope that whatever may come your way with your plan- relapse, fear, uncertainty, shame, etc.- you will know in your heart that you have a friend in me and can share ANYTHING with me and NOT BE JUDGED! Yeah, how many times did you see "that girl behind the John 3:16" fall flat on her face? We just have to get back up though and getting back up is easier when someone reaches out their hand to help- YOU HAVE MY HAND- always!
Write again soon and take care of yourself! God give you strength, support, and comfort, Dallas! Hugs!
I hope that whatever may come your way with your plan- relapse, fear, uncertainty, shame, etc.- you will know in your heart that you have a friend in me and can share ANYTHING with me and NOT BE JUDGED! Yeah, how many times did you see "that girl behind John 3:16" fall flat on her face? We just have to get back up though and getting back up is easier when someone reaches out their hand to help- YOU HAVE MY HAND- always!
Write again soon and take care of yourself! God give you strength, support, and comfort, Dallas! Hugs!
Thank you for extending your hand to me, Michelle, you know I will take you up on that many times I'm sure . After I edited my post for spelling, (yikes!) I saw you had replied already, so I hope you'll see this before signing off and know how much I appreciate what you said and how right it feels to have you posting again, my friend.
Please know that I am always here for you, too, just in case...you never know when you might just let that "guard" down a tad...surgery is humbling that way.
Hope you have sweet dreams tonight- don't think I will as my six year old little girl cut her hair tonight (unbeknowing to me)- she has (HAD) long, Shirley Temple curls and I almost cried when I saw what she had done! So, visions of scissors instead of sugarplums will be dancing in my head tonight! LOL! I guess I should be thankful that I am upset over a mere "haircut" rather than an uncureable disease, huh? Oh, but we southern women take pride in our hair- LOL! Okay, okay, enough about that! Thank you, too, for the "invitation" to "unload" on you one day- may just take you up on that! Again, sweet dreams and will talk later!
Thank you for your well wishes and glad that your spirits were lifted a little tonight after reading some of the threads! If you have time (maybe tonight or tomorrow) would love for you to share with me what you are going through with "addiction and/or recovery." Will try to go back and re-read your past posts! Hope to talk soon- take care!
Hey Michelle...Happy Saturday!!!! So glad to see you back posting. I am thrilled to peices that you have made it thru this cancer scare and have remained sober. You still need your rest and nutrition, your family needs you healthy and strong.
I am about 36 days pill-free now and this time has seemed the easiest of all. I don't ever want to go thru this crap again. I have amazing energy this time, no clue why, but i STILL have stomach issues, as soon as i get up in the morning i am running to my immodium. Oh well, small price to pay, huh?!?!
My daughter's best friends mother is in the hospital right now, she is a troubled single mother, and i believe she either took E--extasy, or o.d. on pain pills, i am going into the hospital today to see if i can help her maintain sobriety thru meetings, or maybe just having a sober-buddy to hang with. Her kidneys were borderline shutting down the other day, and they were saying maybe a UTI gone too far, but she told me a different story. Her and I had been exchanging pills for at least a year now, and the thing with her was, she won't even see what she is taking, just pops them in her mouth and waits for the numbness. It is so sad for me to see her 15 yr old daughter in such distress over this. This should be such a happy time, our daughter are entering high school in a couple of weeks, and there she is lying in a hospital bed complaining of "pain", getting morphine shot after morphine shot....Well i am going to the hospital to give her an ear-full, then i am taking the kids bowling for the afternoon.
I am doing a few meetings a week, at least 2, sometimes more sometimes less, depending on how hectic my week is going. My husband isn't too keen on the idea of me going to meetings, but i am sick and tired of things or people controlling me, so he can complain all he wants, i NEED meetings, and that is something he is having a hard time with. I am actually being selfish this time, and buying myself little treats thru-out the week, taking an extra long bubble bath, basically catering to myself. I am still having a hard time gaining weight, this is always an issue with me. I am at 91 lbs , i am now drinking ENSURE PLUS, at least twice a day and i will hopefully see some results soon. I don't sit too much, so that is probably why my metabolism is so dam high. My two and a half year old, is driving me totally NUTS lately!!! He has boundless energy, doesn't nap, doesn't go to bed early, and screams bloody murder if he doesn't get his way....gosh i am glad i sober, i have no clue how i kept up to him in a pill-fog. Oh well, enough babbling outta me.
I am glad you are back, i missed you alot, Michelle. What are your plans for the weekend??? Hang in there ---- you are one tough cookie
luv ya tons,
My dearest Mich-
So glad to see you back-i missed you-
I am happy to know your health issues are going to be dealt w/-and your gonna be ok-Thank God-!!!
Although i knew deep inside-you got alot of living to do-and nothing is gonna hold you down-YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN!!!
And you are doing so well-w/ the addiction side-
Still- i know its tough to face any surgery/and i know-you will be ok-but remember-you got a board full of friends who love you/miss you-and are praying for you!!
Missed ya girl-so glad to have you back..
My Me- Shell,
I was thinking about you and it's so hard that you can't just pick up the phone and ask how someone is doing. Instead you have to just wait til they post again. Here is a big hug....... did you get it? I am so relieved that it was not worse. My Mom had Cancer in her foot and had to have a forth of her foot removed. I know afterwards she was depressed from the chemo. she didn't want to take anything, and her doc ran a thyroid test on her and come to find out... here thyroid was off so it was making her depressed. Anyway, Im very happy and thank God for you being able to move on and on the road to recovery. You take care of yourself and rest , and rest , and rest ! Get pampered if you can, you deserve it!
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
You poor thing....you have really been put through the ringer! It sounds as though you are doing okay though....right? Anyway, I just wanted to get in here to say that I am thinking of you often, and hoping each day brings you closer to an end of this "mess". You sound like a very strong person, and you should be proud (very proud) that you were able to stay "clean" through it all. An ordeal like this can be such a trigger for relapse, just the worrying alone can be horrific....but you did it!! You are an inspiration to many.
Try to get the rest you need, but as a mom of 2 myself, I understand how hard it is just to use the bathroom without interruption, let alone getting some......what's it called???.......oh ya.......rest. Oh well, try anyway. You take care, and remain strong. Fondly ~ Jen