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Old 08-20-2004, 08:51 PM   #1
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egonzalez HB User
Question want to stop slamming but i refuse help

any one with some advice on what to do. jailed and homeless, still cant get me to stop what else should i try if i can. i dont want to lose my kids even though their dad has them, i can t bare the thought of getting help. its all i think is idont want to quit I like the needle but 5 arrest and know where to run i just feel tired sometimes even ending the battle. but i keep going and every 3 days or so i use but i need some advice maybe lots so i can get it in the brain.

Last edited by egonzalez; 08-20-2004 at 08:58 PM.

 
Old 08-20-2004, 09:19 PM   #2
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vamp36 HB Uservamp36 HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

Try thinking of your children. Thats what got me to stop using. I was a big coke user for 2 years. Now I'm totally "coke - free" since March. It was very hard after using almost everyday for 2 years. But looking into their little faces and their little smiles, got me to do it. Now I am finally enjoying my 2 little guys. I don't ever regret quitting. I am so grateful I got another chance. I use to LOVE cocaine and never thought I would want to quit either. Now I never want to do it again. You may feel that way to, once your clean. You have to want to quit or it won't work. You can do it. Good luck to you.

 
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Old 08-21-2004, 06:01 AM   #3
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goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

I totally understand..i also was also addicted to the same thing -it was an obsession-and i never thought i could stop-i did get 2 yrs. off-i detoxed and went to therapy..it really helped-but i relapsed-and it was the worst relapse yet..
Does your husband use too?
I was on the every three days-(the 3 day threshold)-for a long time-and relapsed-my husband OD'd and was okay..but we knew our time was running down..
My advice to you-is..you sound alot like me..chronic relapser..i chose Suboxone-like methadone but a pill-it totally kills the cravings-you don't get high-and it gives you the perspective to see what life can be like w/o the drugs..SAVED MY LIFE!!!
You have 5 kids that need you-and if you have insurance it will cover the meds-you can search suboxone on google and there is a DR. locator-for drs that prescribe in your area-
This treatment is for people like us-who try and try but can't seem to stop entirely-i haven't touched a drop for almost a year-and i don't miss it..
I hated being a slave to that drug-i hated myself-for being so out of control.
Im now coming down in dosage-and its been fine-supposedly the detox from sub-is similar to a darvocet addiction-tired/achy-but manageable-and after this length of time-w/o the drugs/and depression(the sub takes away the depression associated w/ kicking)-i can see there is life w/o the chaos..
I know where you are coming from-i really think you should check it out-you don't have to go thru all the insanity of kicking w/ sub-you are eased out of your addiction-altho you will ultimately have to come off the sub-many drs will prescribe for 2-5 years- or longer..
Im telling you honestly-i had a really bad habit-for close to 8 yrs-and i don't miss it a bit.Thats huge!
This is your way out!!!!
GGrl65

 
Old 08-21-2004, 06:39 AM   #4
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Christin HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

I'm just curious...what drug are you guys talking about?

 
Old 08-21-2004, 08:02 AM   #5
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windysan HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

Check into detox/rehab today. You will die if you don't do it.

 
Old 08-22-2004, 08:04 PM   #6
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CromeYellow HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

My advice to you is to go back "home" and keep using until you are ready. It doesn't sound like you are and recovery never sticks until we are truly ready to stop anyway. How does that make you feel?

 
Old 08-24-2004, 05:32 AM   #7
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goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

heroin..i believe she was refering to-

 
Old 08-24-2004, 02:49 PM   #8
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Billy2310 HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

One day the sleeping gaint will wake up ,you will see the light you will see god!If you leave now what will people say about the life you had?
surrender yourself to god change your ways take a hard look in the mirrior! Ask god for a chance to live a clean life!

 
Old 08-25-2004, 11:38 AM   #9
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CromeYellow HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

I think MOTIVATION (or willingness) is the first step or requirement towards getting clean. In other words, a strong desire to get clean.

Sure, the desire to use never goes away completely but until a person wants to get clean much more than s/he wants to use, attempts at getting clean are pointless and will inevitably result in relapse if the person even get clean in the first place.

 
Old 08-29-2004, 02:57 AM   #10
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alaineOconnor HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

first of all, do you think you have aproblem? because if you dont, you are not ready to get help. if you cant admit that you have a problem recovery is so muchh harder. STEP ONE "We admitted to ourselves that we are powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanagable." after you make that admission, you are ready for help. after you make that admission, you have taken the first step and everything else will come. the first step is the hardest part.but you have to be ready for it. recovery from addiction is full of a lot of first steps. we are sick people. - you definately need to swallow your pride and get into detox. do it for yourself, and for your kids, you are no good to them if you are dead. you suffer from the disease of addiction. this disease is progressive, incurable and fatal.
i just want to let you know how much i understand what you are going through, and i know how hard it is and how much pain you will go through, but you will be ok. as long as you relize the full extent of your problem and are willing to do whatever it takes to get clean and stay clean you will be just fine. ive been going to NA meetings for a while and i cannot express to you how much my life changed after i started going to them. i was such a total mess. id used and used and used until i knew i couldnt use anymore, but i kept on using, i couldnt live without it, or so i thought. the withdrawl was so bad, and i did it over and over and over, and everytime, it got worse, until i couldnt handle it anymore, i had no way out, i had no one to turn to but my knife and my needle full of OC. i knew i had to stop, i couldnt keep living the way i was living. so i did. and after the physical withdrawl the emotional end of it came and i was so lost. i wanted to die every single day, and i tried, but i am still here - to try to help people like you. i know what you are going through, and its rough, and you will be frantic, not knowing what to do with yourself. but deny the temptation - get rid of it, dont have it around because if you do, youll go back to it everytime. start going to meetings, and when you go, surrender yourself, open up and share your soul. you will get so much love and support its unreal. because every person in that room knows exactly where you are and exactly what youre going through, theyve been there too, and theyre past it and they want to help you get past it. they want you to be able to live drug free, because using will get you three thing in life - jails, institutions, and death. not nessasrily in that order. these people will teach how to deal with life on lifes terms. my suggestion to you is to go to a meeting, open up and share your story, tell people you need help, and they will help you. get phone numbers from people and use them. whenever you get that "stinkin' thinkin' " call someone from NA. thats why you get the phone numbers. get a sponsor, and call her evryday. shell give you suggestions onworking the steps, get a book and study the steps, work the steps. go to as many meetings as possible, get to know these people so they can get to know you. if you cant go to detox and rehab, do the next step, go to 90 meetings in 90 days. th efirst 30 days is the hardest, then after youve made it that far, make it to 60, then 90. then youll be doing fine. take it one day at a time. if days are overwhleming, and youre full of anxiety, take it by minutes, 5 minutes at a time until you can go day by day. ALWAYS go to your meetings, if youre having a bad day and you dont feel like going, thats the day you need to go the most. any day you feel you dont need to go are the days when you need the most support. you need a lot of support through all of this, you cant do it alone, no one can. many of us ended up in jail or sought help through medicine, religion, and psychiatry. none of these methods was sufficient enough. our disease always resurfaced and continued to progress until we sought help in NA. we relized we are sick people. we suffer from a disease to which there is no known cure. it can however be arrested at some point, and recovery is then possible. i am glad i caught this as early as i did, i am young and i am a GREATFUL recovering addict. today i am proud of myself to have made it this far, if i can do it, i KNOW you can do it. one day at a time. keep coming back, it works if you live it but you got to live it everyday CLEAN! i am here for you, all of us are here for you. let us know how you are doing, keep us posted and the best of luck to you.

 
Old 08-29-2004, 05:53 AM   #11
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RebeccaW62 HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

Sometimes you have to force yourself to do things like check into rehab/detox even if you don't want to. Take your body, your head will follow. Your heart is talking to you. Do something, anything. go to detox. Even if you don't want to stay clean, your body can use the vacation from the using and you will be in a safe environment.

But these other posters are right, if you aren't ready to get clean then it is to hard a fight. It is a hard enough fight when you want to get clean.

You don't really have to worry about using tomorrow or next week. Take one day at a time. Try staying clean by the minute, the hour. Then hours will turn into a day, etc.

I went to inpatient rehab but knew I didn't want to stay clean. I went for everyone else. I coldn't wait to get out and use. I waited a few months before I used actually, but then went back full swing. Now I have found Suboxone and have been clean 90 days (in a row). No mental or physical cravings. Thank God.

 
Old 08-29-2004, 06:03 AM   #12
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RebeccaW62 HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

AlaineOconner- I go to NA meetings too. I am greatful for them. I can tell you really attend a lot of these as you definitely talk the talk. I am sure you walk the walk too.

I am glad to hear you are young and have found your way into the rooms of NA. Most don't find the meetings until they are much older. I love to see young people at the meetings. I hope they and you have a lifetime of living drug free.

I wish I had found the group earlier. I say that, but it takes what it takes. Younger, I was not ready to hear what they have say in these meetings. I guess God stears us there at the right time in our life.

Some people are forced to go to meetings. With some, it takes and with others, they are just biding their time. However, the first time we attend a meeting, we hear things we don't forget then when we are ready, the seed has been planted. We know where to go for help.

Thank you for your post. Have a great day. Life is Good.

 
Old 08-31-2004, 01:53 PM   #13
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KimmieVanH HB User
Re: want to stop slamming but i refuse help

You haven't had enough consequences, yet. My friend had the same problem. She is getting ready to get released from jail after being in for 9 years. And she was just a regular old user. Not a dealer or anything like that. It happens. How would you feel if you only got to see your kids through glass for a few years and STILL had to go through FORCED wd's? No fun detoxing in a jail cell. Go to rehab. It's your only chance. God Bless!

~Kim

 
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