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Old 09-08-2004, 12:56 PM   #16
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RubySlippers HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Sara,

I have read thru the posts and I agree that you are very very brave just to be thinking about rehab!!!

If I were you, I would first pray that things get sorted out (for about 5 minutes , then I would get on the phone, computer, talk to the landlord, take the 3 thousand from your wonderful boyfriend, line up childcare with your sister (if possible), and do your very best to get to rehab on the 17th.

If you know in your heart that you put every effort into trying to make this date work, and for some reason it doesn't, you will know in your heart that this was not meant to be.

My circumstances are similar to yours - in fact you've responded to a couple of my posts (GlindaWitch was the user name but the "witch" part was a no-no with the mods). In fact, one of your posts helped me find my way to accept Jesus Christ into my life. I remember the day....I had been at my neighbors house crying my eyes out. She was trying to tell me about religion. I came home and read a post from you thru my tears and it was the "nudge" that led me to open my heart to the Lord.

For whatever it's worth, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and will be praying for you ... whatever the outcome - I have plenty of time on my hands since losing my job in June

Anyway, please keep the faith, go with your heart for only you truly know whats best, and know that all of us are with you 100% either way this goes.

Please keep us up to date (oh...and I DO wish we could pass the hat to help you monitarily....but we CAN pass the hat spiritually....tag... Who's turn is it??

 
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Old 09-08-2004, 01:15 PM   #17
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Sarandipity HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

I remember you! Glindawitch, Im just gonna call the "the wizard" from now on. Lol Anyway, I am so touched that just my simple faith in the Lord, changed your heart- if only just a little. Thats another reason I want to go
to rehab, I would have more confidence because I would grow closer with the Lord. Then I could be a better Mommy.

So are you looking for a job? What kind?

Love,
Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-08-2004, 01:39 PM   #18
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Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

It was soooo funny!! I have been a member for about 6 months and haven't posted much. I started posting a little more on this board and one day I logged in and found my name changed to Glinda1. I e-mailed the mods and they offered to change my name again, so I asked for RubySlippers...but The Wizard-ess would do just fine!!!

I am sort of looking for a job. They are very hard to come by where I live and I would probably not make much more - maybe even less - than what I'm getting with unemployment insurance. My daughter just started her first day as a sophomore in high school (yikes

I am just trying to take one day at a time. I'm still in a deep depression and am very scared to begin the whole job hunting process. Havent' had to job hunt in years.

I have to say that I now read the bible and pray. I have to tell you this...at the time I posted and that day I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart I had a bladder infection. I know I had one but I had no insurance since I had no job. The infection wasn't a huge issue, but the very next time I went "potty" it didn't hurt - in fact the infection just "went away". Now I'm not one to believe in miracles or anything....I'm a computer systems analyst by profession so I'm more on the scientific side of things, but that just BLEW my MIND!!!! I believe it was a sign.

Just had to share that with you as you were an important peice of my puzzle on the way to my new path in life. I have sooo much to learn but it just feels right.

I hope with all my heart that rehab all works out for you. I know what ya mean about being the best mommy ever!!! Anything I can do to be a better mom I try to do...I believe it's a lifelong process of learning. I love my daughter more than anything...in fact she's the reason I'm still here on earth. I've been so close to suicide more times than I can count...still am on some days (I'm sure many can relate). She is what keeps me alive. Her smile, her wonderful personality, you know what I mean.

Please keep us up to date on how things are going for you!! And of course, I'll be praying for you!!!

Angela

Last edited by Administrator; 09-27-2004 at 03:06 AM.

 
Old 09-08-2004, 02:13 PM   #19
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Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Angela,
Boy do I know what it feels like to be in that boat: hanging on by a thread.
Single parent. There was one time I wanted to give up. My boyfriend wrote me a letter. I can feel your pain right now, and Im going to give it to God.

Read this, maybe it will help you: (It was written by my boyfriend)

I have done a lot of thinking tonight.

There are some important things that you need to know and remember:

You are the most important person in the world (quite literally!) to two beautiful and talented little girls. These little girls will one day be women with lives and families of their own and will still count on you to be there to share their problems and joys. They will want you to share their lives with the wonderful woman who brought them into and up in this world. YOU CAN'T MISS THIS.

NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU FEEL TODAY, TOMORROW, OR FOR A WHOLE MONTH AND EVEN A YEAR, there is a future in which you will be free from these pains and worries and all of your problems today will be but distant memories. These memories will seem more like a dream and will have no power over you or the wonderful life you will have created for yourself with the help from God and the people he has sent to your as company on your journey.

When you feel most alone, you would be surprised to find that these may be the times when those around your are the most focused on you and on helping you through those dark days. Make a conscious effort during these times to point out these "angels" to yourself. You will find comfort in discovering that they have not abandoned you... even when you have taken uncounscious measures to drive them away.

Remember something that you told me was said to you: "You are an angel and I am an angel God made to take care of you." This is an indisputable fact supported by plenty of evidence. You can't touch it or take a picture of it, but the evidence is all around you. In fact I can feel it around me and inside of me now.

Lastly (at least for now), you should know that I personally won't let you drift away or give-up. Even if you truly desired to give up, which you don't, I would stand in the way like Mt. Everest. It is my mission to make sure you walk on through all of this so that you can look back on these days as something that had to happen so that you could grow and appreciate what lies on the other side.

Expect a miracle...
They're not so hard to come by. You are one.

And, most importantly, don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens.


Ruby Slippers- I want you to be strong for yourself- so your sophmore will be able to look and you and admire your strengh- that you pulled from the Lord.
She will see it. I can feel it just in your words you write. You have a sweet soul- don't ever loose that! It's with you for life ya know.

Loving You!
Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-08-2004, 03:04 PM   #20
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windysan HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Hey Sara,

It does sound like you need to go. For many it is the only way to get off the stuff. Laha is a pretty good facility but it is a business. They are going to "market" to you. There are others. There is a place in Summit, Mississippi called Jolimar Recovery. One of the counselors there, "Big Book Johnny" went to Laha. He could give you some info regarding Laha. Jolimar is a nice place too.....a mansion, tennis, pools, river, all that stuff. It is swanky compared to Laha and I think it is cheaper. I understand that Laha is close so your kids can visit. This may be your only chance to get clean. "Willpower" is a tough one when you have easy access to drugs. Many have failed trying to do it themselves at home. Get your things in order(rent, kids) and just go. You'll be away from the drugs(but watch out on the inside too) and that will help. You'll learn much more than "addict stuff"....you'll learn how to deal with life's problems. Don't worry about being "labelled". You don't have to "shout from the rooftops" that you are an addict. People have short memories and those that do "find out" will respect you for helping yourself. Those who don't have respect will forget about it in 3 weeks. Don't worry what other people think because they don't matter. Take care of yourself....you are no good dead or strung out. Do the right thing and check into a rehab when you can. Make the decision now and don't put it off. Good luck.

 
Old 09-08-2004, 03:12 PM   #21
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Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Windysan,
Most educated thing Ive heard re: my fears of being labelled for the rest of my life:

You'll learn much more than "addict stuff"....you'll learn how to deal with life's problems. Don't worry about being "labelled". You don't have to "shout from the rooftops" that you are an addict. People have short memories and those that do "find out" will respect you for helping yourself. Those who don't have respect will forget about it in 3 weeks. Don't worry what other people think because they don't matter. Take care of yourself....you are no good dead or strung out.

I will re- read this about 3 times today and tomorrow and hopefully it will sink in- Thanks!

Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-08-2004, 03:36 PM   #22
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RubySlippers HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Dear Sara,

Just a quick reply as I've got to go but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

You are an angel...the words you wrote were sooo true and that night I felt it: "You are an angel and I am an angel God made to take care of you."

You and my neighbor! Thank GOD for you both!

Will post more tomorrow. Take care, have a good night and god bless you, your children and your wonderful boyfriend

Angela

 
Old 09-08-2004, 09:16 PM   #23
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Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Im going to rehab. Period. I just hope I can talk to everyone before I go on the 17th. and then when I come back 32 days later, I think it will be Oct. 20th. Im already packing my bags.

Tonight I went to Target and bought a cd "walkman" - it was a generic brand, anyway it was $11. !!!!! I want to listen to music while Im there.

I also picked out some comfy t shirts, and a few nice clothes as well.
I will be packing over the next week. It's only 9 days away and I will be
there!

So scared- but so ready to stop having a bad "year" every year.

Love,
Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-08-2004, 10:00 PM   #24
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Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Hi Sara,

I am so glad you are going to go! I was getting ready to come on here and tell you that another thing you might ask yourself is "would Frida do this if she would have had the chance in her life and times?" I like to think she would...the availability of counseling alone might be worth it. One thing you do, Sara, is surround yourself with strong women, and you seem to admire strong women in your love of the arts. In reading your replies on this thread, you have a lot of strong women...and men, too, who are saying to you that it's time for you to go.

Compare what you will be doing at this place for 32 days to how you would be spending the 32 days at home if you weren't going...which way of those days being spent will change your life for the better? Which version will give you ways of dealing with your very real physical pain as well as the pain of your addiction? Really, which way of spending 32 days will have a larger, more positive impact on you, your ability to work and take care of yourself and your children? Which way will make you stronger when it comes to having to deal with your ex the next time? I imagine you will delve into all these issues while in rehab and you will come home armed with a new attitude and new skills and even more strength than you already have...and you truly are one of the strongest people I know, I mean that.

I totally agree with the what Windysan said, and I think we should ALL read her post once a day! She is exactly right on about other people and how they view other people's "15 minutes of fame." You know already that the bottom line is it really only matters what you and your children think of this decision you are making...nobody else. You are the one making it and living with it and the results of it, and I truly think it will have a big payoff in the end.

You have a lot of people on your side...not many are in a situation to just get 3 grand Western Union'd to us ! See, Venus and Mars are alright tonight, and everything is going to be okay. I was thinking about the very good point Lynn brought up, and in an attempt to be the devil's advocate, could it be possible their tough love and tactics are more geared to getting you there because the more that time passes, the more likely another addict will slip through the chance at a recovery? I know, I know...only in my dream world, LOL! But it would be nice to think they are not motivated primarily by the money, you know?

Well, I may not be able to pass the hat, so instead, my hat is off to you...

With much love,
Dallas

 
Old 09-09-2004, 04:18 AM   #25
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Twinlynn HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Hi Sara,

That's GREAT that you've made the decision!

I did go on that site for you last night....but there was just not specific enough information for me to really "get a feeling" for them. From their general descriptions, the place sounds lovely, caring, etc. But each web page was very short....so I guess you're going to have to take a lot of stuff on faith!

A few things I picked out from what they said....there's appears to be just one psychiatrist at the rehab, but several qualified doctors and nurses. There was no specifics as to what detox drugs they use to make you comfortable. I got the feeling that you see the psychiatrist after you finish the detoxing period..

A 12-Step program is followed, plus they offer a few programs I'm not familiar with.

So---I'm afraid I could not find out much for you that wasn't rather general. But, others here seem to be familiar with this Rehab.....so I would have to say you should rely on those who know more about it.

Sorry I could not get more of a real "feel" for you. But I'm so glad you are going to give it a try.

I'm off now to the hospital to get a few basic tests before this foot surgery I have tomorrow (I injured my foot a month ago and the wound just won't close.) Anyway, I'll check back later to make sure all is well.

xxx Love, Lynn xxx

 
Old 09-09-2004, 05:23 AM   #26
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fisherpard HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Sara,

You have many friends on this board that love you very much for all your kindness.

I am like DallasAlice, if money is the problem. I would be first in line to drop some in the hat.

Money should never be a motivating factor in your recovery.

However, I can understand about the Ex and the Children.

I am praying for you much,
fisherman

 
Old 09-09-2004, 05:49 AM   #27
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windysan HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Rehab Basics:

You might want to check with Laha to see if walkmans are allowed. I know that in some rehabs they don't allow anything that might take away from recovery. This probably includes walkmans. Ask about books too. Some rehabs will allow spiritual books only. Don't bring hairspray or anything with alcohol in it. Make sure you have your "meds" in order with doctors notes and all that. Most rehabs don't allow any narcotic meds. I hear that Laha is pretty generous with detox meds.....don't take advantage of that situation. Bring a pillow and an extra blanket. Bring an open mind. Just like anywhere else there will be A-holes there...but also a lot of good people. Just call Laha and ask for a faxed list of what you can and cannot bring. Stick with your decision.

 
Old 09-09-2004, 06:06 AM   #28
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Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Windysan,
Two pillows, blanket, heating pad, tens unit (for back), walkman- ok only sometimes, thermo care heat pad's for my back, the book- purpose driven life, (they study that at the "seekers" meeting each morning.

Youre right- no meds w/ out Rx like no zrytec samples (for allergies)
Have to have a Rx. I have to go to work, So tired - No vics for 2 days, Ive
had the runs all morning.

Boy Im not ready to detox at home! They said it would be comfortable that I would not feel really bad- but bad enough to remember it.

Your posts to me were really beneficial to me over the past few days.

Thanks Windysan.

Love,
Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-09-2004, 06:43 AM   #29
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windysan HB User
Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Da runs......oooofa.....that sure sucks. What are "units" for your back? Narcotic? Many with pain symptoms who quit all narcotics find out that a lot of the pain was actually psychosomatic(in your head). Take the "units" but try to do without them for a couple of weeks. Use just the heating pad and see what happens. Don't worry or be scared....the hardest part is making the decision to go.

 
Old 09-09-2004, 08:23 AM   #30
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Re: Need Advice ASAP- The rehab wants me there NOW, I want to go on the 17th

Windysan-
Look it up on the internet- It's called the "Tens Unit" it is -

How Does TENS Work?
This electrotherapy was designed to relieve pain by sending gentle electrical impulses through the skin to the nerves. This suppresses pain by blocking the pain signals before they reach the brain. Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation sends gentle impulses through lead wires that are connected to electrodes. These electrodes are strategically placed at appropriate pain sights on the body. Because there are many different kinds of pain, and each individual is unique, pain relief varies from person to person. Some users experience pain relief only while the TENS unit is turned on. For others, relief continues for a length of time even after the unit is turned off. It is an excellent, non-drug alternative for chronic pain such as lower-back ache and arthritis. It is also useful in relieving acute pain associated with surgery, traumatic injury, and other conditions.

To achieve the best results of electrotherapy, it is important to remember that the therapy merely activates the body's own pain-fighting mechanism. Placing electrodes directly over or around the painful area delivers pain-blocking current to the nerves leading to that area.

I have been off of pain meds for two days- Im in major pain- I think the tens will help me in my PT, they use it on me there.
BTW, My PT did tell me the same thing you are telling me - don't use ANYTHING for the pain except your excercises and my Higher Power.

My Gen Phys. said taper, my pelvis is still out of place and my SI joint is not moving on one side.

Write Back!

Love,
Sara- PS. I know... I do need to go!
It is the pits being at work detoxing. At least Im busy and my mind is not
directly on the pain. Yes, going to the bathroom every 30 min- took Imodium.
Luv Ya!
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
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