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Old 09-08-2004, 01:12 PM   #1
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Location: San Diego,California USA
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Captain Hydro HB User
I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Not Doing Well, Hit The Wall Monday. Had My Brothers Kids All Weekend And Brought One 2 School (emily) And The 1 1/2 Year Old 2 His Mom. Went 2 Work And Called A Guy And Within A Hour Had 500 And Went To Work. So Now I'm ******, Depressed, Upset With Myself And Confused.

Read Some Posts This Week That Were Hard 2 Read, Not The Reason I Caved Just Lost Controll. Hope I Can Stop And Get Out Of This Funk. Need 2 Hollar At Some Friends Here 4 Support.

 
Old 09-08-2004, 07:03 PM   #2
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sammi HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Captain Hydro, I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. What is it that made you cave? Depression? Trust me, I know you have enough to be depressed about. I also know you have a family and you have too much to lose.

Just know it's not too late to flush them down the toliet. Okay, so you made a mistake, don't let it take over your life again. I know you don't want to end up like your brother. Just look at how much he is missing out on life. (children, wife, you, his parents etc..) You don't have to end up in the same place! I don't mean to sound harsh, I just don't want you to give up.

Have you ever considered Suboxone? I personally have been on it since March, and although I know I will soon (tomorrow) have to stop it and go through w/d's, but I can honestly say it saved my life.

Hang in there..
Sammi

 
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Old 09-09-2004, 06:16 AM   #3
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goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Cap'n hydro-
Those darn pills..really sink there teeth in you..sorry to hear..your having a rough time-i know that frustration all too well..thats why i opted for sub-but im gonna have to kick this monkey too..the last 10 yrs of my life have been w/d-relapse-sober-relapse...w/d..Oy Vey!
Did you say 500 pills?Thats fairly hefty..How many per day???
Have you ever tried detox-or rehab???
Its tough to do on your own-c/t is a drag-but when its over-5-7 days..and a couple weeks of post w/d-really your home free-
Please remind me of this when im kicking suboxone..OK????
Im around-if you need to talk-
peace
ggrl65

 
Old 09-09-2004, 06:45 AM   #4
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windysan HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

El Capitan. You tried rehab yet? Just curious.

 
Old 09-09-2004, 11:40 AM   #5
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Location: San Diego,California USA
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Captain Hydro HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Hey thanks,

I'm thankfull 4 the replys. No I have never done rehab, been on my mind latly. Went C/T In January and iys been tough since. Maybe its time 2 go talk and heal?. Y'll are great people!. Suboxone, yes I know of it but worry about the ultimate price we have 2 pay in the end.

 
Old 09-09-2004, 12:37 PM   #6
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sammi HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Captain, I'm sure after reading some of the post on here about how some of the people have had w/d's from the Sub, but I know like Goddess Girl 65 has also been doing a slow taper and she is doing really well. Not to mention her husband who only takes 1-2mg Sub a day. Another good thing about Sub, at least for me, was it got me out of the habit of looking at the time ALL day to see when I was going to take my next hydro. I'm not kidding, since I have been taking Sub, I have maybe craved 3-4 times.

I just think maybe you should speak with someone and check out your options. You have too much to lose!!

Hang in there,
Sammi

 
Old 09-09-2004, 01:36 PM   #7
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Captain Hydro HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Where Do You Find The Clinics? I Did A Search On Google And Not Sure If I'm Inputing The Right Info? Would My Primary Doc Be Able 2 Point Me In The Right Direction?. So You Feel Normal? How Often Do You Have 2 Go In The Clinic?. Thanks Brode

 
Old 09-09-2004, 01:38 PM   #8
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Captain Hydro HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Sammi,

Yeah Tick Tock That Fricking 4-5 Hour Clock

 
Old 09-09-2004, 01:50 PM   #9
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windysan HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

El Capitan.....why jump from one dope to another? Go to rehab and just kick all the crap. They'll bring you down easy and when you are done....you are done. I've seen some subox nightmares.

 
Old 09-09-2004, 03:07 PM   #10
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Captain Hydro HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Wind/Sammi

Thanks guys, I'm going 2 my Doc Friday. Like I said I went C/T last time with a Clonidine patch and Naltrexone. I did it and it wasn't so bad because I was in such mental pain theyco-insided. I appreiciate the info, I hope Julie is alright?......Respectfully,

Brode

 
Old 09-16-2004, 01:07 PM   #11
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Location: Tempe,Az
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povs83 HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Thanks guys, I'm going 2 my Doc Friday. Like I said I went C/T last time with a Clonidine patch and Naltrexone. I did it and it wasn't so bad because I was in such mental pain theyco-insided. I appreiciate the info, I hope Julie is alright?......Respectfully,

Brode

Brode,

Good luck! if you have the time and can find a good Doc. Sub works, It is time consuming the first 3-4 vists but I'll take the trade off anyday......9 months sober and no relapses.

 
Old 09-16-2004, 11:48 PM   #12
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ScaredHelpless HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Capt'
Never posted to you before but I just wanted to say, don't beat yourself up to much about your relapse. At least you were at a place where you could relapse ( As in you had been clean). I haven't even tried to kick my habit yet, I'm just thinking about it and still taking it. So be proud of the progress you made and try focusing on that. Remember, Everyone falls, It's not how we fell or what we tripped over that defines us, its how we pick our selves back up and trudge on!!
Good Luck

 
Old 09-17-2004, 08:46 AM   #13
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povs83 HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

I clicked on his User Name and it said Banned? (Captin) I think its cause he defended some'one on a post. Hang in there and I'm sure we will hear from you soon Capt.

 
Old 09-17-2004, 05:48 PM   #14
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bluejulie5 HB User
Re: I Caved...............julie U Around?.

Sweetie I am sorry; I just now read your post. Guess I missed it, I have not been on here too much....

You may have read this about me before, I don't remember, but I lost my brother too.
He had cancer and died about 10 years ago. My only sibling.
Also, my first husband was shot by a stranger.

So, May I tell you that I know exactally what you are going through (with your brother),
my brother had no kids, but I always whished he had.


I know you must be upset about taking more pills.
But I just want to tell you to hang in there and keep trying.
That is all you can do right? And maybe, if you feel like you
need to see a MD. maybe you could do that?
I dont know how I feel about rehab, but to me
it does not seem like you need it because you have been
doing so well, but i might be wrong.

Please, lets talk more.
So sorry that I missed your post, like I said.

talk more later.
hang in there it will get better.
__________________
julie

 
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