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Old 09-08-2004, 01:17 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 16
Glamourgirl HB User
Stop this thing..I want off!!

Hello everyone.. I'm writting to you from home today b/c again I did not go into work.. If you don't know I've suffering from wd's from hydro for I think 13 days...I'm losing track of the days. I don't know if I'm still having wd symptoms, though!! I went to the ER Monday, thinking I had something very wrong. I was running fever, chills, dehydrated, with debilitaing fatigue( had to have someone feed me and bathe me to go there). Didn't mention the "withdrawl thing", cause I was thinking it must be something else, and if I told them about the hydro, that is what they would concentrate on, and wouldn't look for the real culpret. I have a sinus infection, who hasn't... A cold has never stopped me from living.


So my question to alll of you is... How freaking long do withdrawls last, I need a time. What are the last remaining symptoms, ya know the one that drags on forever. I'm falling into a state of depression. I don't even care about the stupid pills I'm glad to have them out of my life. So I don't think I"m having some kind of mental wd. Maybe I'm losing it. Maybe my depression is making me tired. Who knows!! Anyway.. If you guys could please give me a time frame of how long one generally has to suffer, that would be great.
Thanks

 
Old 09-08-2004, 01:25 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: ATL, The Big Blue Marble
Posts: 275
RubySlippers HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

Glamourgirl,

Check out the "Pain Management" board. Do a search on withdrawls, w/d's, etc. There are some great posts there by a member named Shoreline. He has more information than any five people put together that I know of who need info on pain management, including hydro w/d's. I think his experiences were from changing from one med to another for chronic pain.

Anyway, I don't have any info on w/d's for you from personal experience. Just wanted to say it sounds like you've come so far....don't give up!!!! The w/d's (if that's what's happening right now) WILL END!!!

There will come a day (soon) that the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT the TRAIN

Angela

 
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Old 09-08-2004, 03:09 PM   #3
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: the South
Posts: 667
windysan HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

It sounds like you are at the tail end of the physical part of it(the easy part). The mental part is the hardest. Try Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous for help with the mental part. Depression is normal. At day 14 you should be getting over the flu-like symptoms. Is it only hydros? If benzos are involved(xanax, valium, klonipin) then the w/d's might last a little longer. You really need help getting through the mental part and that is what meetings are for.

 
Old 09-08-2004, 03:48 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Louisiana
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Glamourgirl HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

When you guys say the "mental part", are you saying the part of you that wants to take the stuff again?? What is the mental part. I was only taking 5-6 Lortab 10's a day, for about 2 years. Nothing more. I feel so exhausted I can't walk across the house without taking a break. My arms feel like they way a ton, AND I CAN'T SLEEP!! I haven't more than 2 hours in one night in approx 6 days!! What I'm trying to figure out is... is this STILL w/d's?? OR should I be looking in another direction. I think what is bringing me down mentally is the fact that I can't care for my family, my job, sheesh my self even. If I had some get up and go would I still feel like a big loser. Today I have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to get away from myself. Does that make since???

 
Old 09-08-2004, 05:50 PM   #5
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: ATL, The Big Blue Marble
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RubySlippers HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

[QUOTE=Glamourgirl]When you guys say the "mental part", are you saying the part of you that wants to take the stuff again?? What is the mental part. I was only taking 5-6 Lortab 10's a day, for about 2 years. Nothing more.

Yes, the "mental part" is the craving. Once you have overcome the physical w/d's, meaning the sickness symptoms, you are left with the "mental" part of addiction.

You will have cravings for the drug. Your mind will want to take the drug to "escape" from whatever you are running from by taking the drugs, or to simply "feel good" or "get high" from the hydro.

It's all about how you are "thinking". If you are thinking about the drugs and how "good" they make you feel, thats the mental part. If you cold turkey the drug, go thru w/d's, then find yourself "longing" for the drug and its affects, that's the MENTAL part.

If I understand correctly you said you were taking "only 5-6 Lortab 10's a day, for about 2 years". If I'm not mistaken, Lortab 10"s mean Hydrocodone Bitartrate 10 mg, and Acetaminophen 500 mg.

To me that's a pretty good dose (a LOT) of hydrocodone. I am and have been a chronic pain patient for at least 5 years due to several back surgeries and abdominal surgeries. At first my Doc gave me Vicodin 5/500 x3 per day. I am now on methadone 30mg x3 per day and ONLY vic's 5/500 x/3 per day. I'm a pretty serious pain management patient and have not taken that much hydro ever nor has it been prescibed by any of my doctors.

How did you acquire the meds? Were they prescribed for an illness? You don't have to tell me but it would help me to ascertain your predicament/situatlion so that I may be able to understand why you are on such a high dose of hydro.

Angela

 
Old 09-08-2004, 06:52 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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Glamourgirl HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

RubySlippers,
I suppose part of healing is being honest. So if being honest with you will help you to help me, I'll answer any and all questions you have. I suppose it was ignorant for me to say "only" 5or6 a day. I have friends that take way more than that, and reading posts here I only assumed the dose wasn't very much. I guess that explains why I'm still having physical w/d's so many days after stopping. I grasp the meaning of mental cravings, however, I didn't take the hydro for the "high" or the "buzz". I took it because daily life is so exhausting, I needed something to have a perfect little smile, and all the spunk and energy that was expected from me through a work day. I work in the medical profession, and I'm expected to be kind, caring, enthusiastic, basically super woman during the day. Then I leave work, you must stop for groceries, get my daughter from school, cook dinner, homework, and on and on!! Honestly I was burnt out... just needed that litttle boost of energy to get me through the day. When I started I would only take 1/2 of a pill. It would get me through the entire day, can you beleive that., and as everyone knows oh so well, it sneaks up on you. So I didn't realize how often I was taking them. When I would run out, my body would respond cramps, vomiting, staying in the bathroom. Thats painful, so I'd take another to feel better, and that is the cycle I've been on for years.

Now, were did I obtain them... I've taken them in the past for real pain, and didn't get the same affect. A few years ago(2) a friend gave me one, and said take this with your glass of wine(i know, great friend). I'd get them here and there. Then I became aware that you could order them online. Thats when the trouble started.. I had 300 Lortab at a time, and I told myself I can do this. I'll just take them now and then... and that brings me to today. A pathetic, sickly, shell of what I once was. I'd give anything to have the energy I had when I thought I didn't have any. It takes everything I have to take a shower. I have lots of time to think about the mistakes I've made, and honestly I don't want it. I was tired of being bound to something. I've been so ill, when I take a vitamin it makes me gag b/c I associate this feeling of physical pain with those little blue pills. Maybe I'm fooling myself....hmmm I dunno. I did catch myself earlier thinking if I took just one, I'd have the energy to start my dishwasher, and wash some clothes. BUT I wouldn't dare, this has been to hard!! I've learned a valuable lesson.

I just don't know where to go from here. I'm still very weak. When I asked you guys about the "mental part", I thought it meant depression. I'm so depressed, and I can't turn these thoughts or feelings off. Okay, I'll stop now!! There you have it... Analyze me... Please!! I need to hear what ever you all have to say!!

Thanks

 
Old 09-08-2004, 07:30 PM   #7
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Join Date: Sep 2003
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RubySlippers HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

Oh...I am soooo feeling your pain right now! I wish I could just take it all away..but, obviously I can't.

Thank you so much for your post. I totally understand your situation (well maybe as far as I can w/o walking in your shoes).

I don't want to analyze you at all! What you are feeling is normal (at least to me). You were taking the pills to enhance your everyday life. It makes sense that if you stop the pills and getting high, your everyday life doesn't seem so great - right? That's the mental part. Whatever made you take the pills in the first place, the feeling they evoked, or the feelings they may have supressed... and then you keep on taking them more and more to keep on being "high" or just to try to live a "normal" life (whatever THAT is ).

What were (are) you trying to avoid feeling? That's the biggee (at least it is for me). Whenever I start to cry and think about starting all over with everything at 38 (job, career, husband, boyfriend, etc.) I'm alone at 38 with a 15 year old daughter, no job, no sig. other...etc. I'm a trained technology professional and was making 52,000 a year. I was one of the 100 laid off this summer at my company alone (thanks BUSH....members...pls don't bash me...).

Anyhow...I am praying for you. I DO understand the feelings you write about. How pleasant you feel, how they give you energy, that "smile". Believe me....I "get" it.

You wrote: (and believe me..this is all addiction/the "high" that you get with these little buggers)..to have a perfect little smile, and all the spunk and energy that was expected from me through a work day.... I'm expected to be kind, caring, enthusiastic, basically super woman during the day. Then I leave work, you must stop for groceries, get my daughter from school, cook dinner, homework, and on and on!! Honestly I was burnt out... just needed that litttle boost of energy to get me through the day. When I started I would only take 1/2 of a pill. It would get me through the entire day, can you beleive that., and as everyone knows oh so well, it sneaks up on you. So I didn't realize how often I was taking them. When I would run out, my body would respond cramps, vomiting, staying in the bathroom. Thats painful, so I'd take another to feel better, and that is the cycle I've been on for years.


Ya know, it almost feels like for what we are "expected" to do, or what we "expect" ourselves to do is not possible w/o some kind of drug. I don't want to go on and on (like I haven't already ), but think about it....women/people/the human race has NEVER had this much to deal with mentally....our whole body structure is meant to deal with totally different kinds of things (hunting/farming/building homes, etc.). I don't know...sorry for going on and on, I wish I had the magic answers for you but I don't. You just have to take it one minute at a time if you need to. I will be praying for you....thank you for your post....

Angela

 
Old 09-08-2004, 07:40 PM   #8
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Location: Florida
Posts: 265
rockingham HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

yes depression is a major factor in opiate addiction. i wouldnt worry too much about your dose. it is minor one as far as most cases of addiction go. in relation to the physical symptoms yes you are still experiencing them. you DO have the worst of it behind you by now though. physical symptoms take as long as two weeks or more for the various ailments to start correcting themselves. sleep is one of the last to return to pre use states. being exausted is normal in recovery. it takes a long while to get better and enjoy the energy you recall from old days gone by. remember you took the medicine for a long period of time. one percent per day isnt true but it helps put it in perspective.

mentally in my case i was in a major depression too and im now on several anti depressants. its helped along with therapy but only marginally. thinking about some therapy shouldnt necessarily be out of the realm of possibility for you. i was depressed before i started using so i just made a bad situation worse. i think my happiness in time will have to come from within though, over the long haul. i self medicated with marijuana for years before i became an opiate addict. i fell in love with the euphoria and the "speed" like buzz it provided, not to mention the things you enjoyed from it. due to tolerance building up i just naturally had to ratchet up my dose until it reached ridiculous levels.

i still miss being high intensely and spend many many moments EVERYDAY thinking on it or wishing i could get high one more time.

best wishes in the recovery process to you...

 
Old 09-14-2004, 07:54 PM   #9
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Join Date: Apr 2003
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aquarius72 HB User
Re: Stop this thing..I want off!!

glamourgirl....

just wanted to say i relate to your post SO MUCH. i'm new here and have spent the past hour just reading through everyone's posts...how are you doing??

 
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