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Old 09-10-2004, 12:41 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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ScaredHelpless HB User
First Post I am So Scared

I know you are all so busy, but reading through some of the posts have really inspired me. For the past year what started out as taking 1/2 a 20 mg. Oxy has become take 2-3 20mg. a day...60 mg. The few days those aren't avaliabe I take close to eight Lortab 10's. I know this problem isn't as huge as others that have been conqured, whcih is what is inspiring me and scaring me. My life has changed so much over the past year, I am 25 years old and was on the brink of Grad School. My grades have dropped and I am scared that my problem is increasing. I've known I wanted to quit for some time but the excuses flood in like water through Niagra. This web site has got me thinking. I would so apperciate it if some of you give me advice...is tapering really that pointless and un-do-able? How long do the w/d symptoms last? Any advice, should I quit....will life ever go back to normal? Once you've tasted the garden of eden...( The high) can you go back to reality? This is so unexpected but I think I was ment to stumble across this web-site...I am so nnaive to all of this I have no idea if I'm strong enough, if its worth it or how to do it...the most F***'d up part about this situation is...I am a counselour for adolescents and I teach Substance Abuse???? ANy words or of wisdom would be welcome...I really dont know if I could go cold turkey my mind is a jumbled mess....I'm scared....

 
Old 09-10-2004, 04:41 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,193
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Re: First Post I am So Scared

Good morning and I am glad you posted. Listen, I have been and still are where you are. I'm taking a maintenance med that I am trying to taper from. It has done wonders for me but the withdrawals are about to come and come for a really long time.

As far as getting off of them.... my advice to you is this. You need to trust someone, and go ahead and admit your problem, if you haven't already. Oh, and by the way... you realizing that you have a problem is a HUGE step to sobriety. Seriously, you are going to make it.

In any situation... it's all about how badly you want it!!!! You have to want to live. I cannot speak from experience regarding your question of will you ever be back to normal. But I've been on this board a LONG time and I see where people are as normal as they can be after being clean for a period of time... They are happy, free and not tied to anything to be that way. They can wake up in the morning and actually feel good and not have to take anything. Can you imagine? I can not wait to be that way one day.

Anyway, you are not alone and I want so badly to type more but I have got to get 3 kids ready for school and me for work. I've GOT to be on time today.

Listen, don't go anywhere. You are in the right place. There are tons of people on here that can help and be here for you. As far as tapering vs. cold turkey... I think it's simply your choice... I could not taper. If I had pills, I was going to take as many as I could to get high, just that one last time.... which continued on and on....

You are extremely intelligent to do something about this problem NOW... before your dosage increases. I was taking one or two lortabs every three or four hours and then within a three week period, was up to taking 4 and then 5 at a time. It will worsen before your very eyes. While you are considering quitting cold turkey.... you could always start to taper while you are making up your mind.... maybe doing it slowly???

Would you/could you consider asking a friend/relative to help you and be your 'buddy'? It helped me to know that I had to be accountable to someone... although I wasn't honest with them sometimes either.

Anyway, I'd better run. I am extremely happy that you posted. You are on your way, my friend. It may seem like it's a forever away, but in reality it's so close.

 
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Old 09-10-2004, 05:39 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: the South
Posts: 667
windysan HB User
Re: First Post I am So Scared

It hooks you so fast. Tapering is very difficult and next to impossible for most people. Kicking it in a detox and then going to rehab is the best option. Yes.....I know all the excuses why you would think otherwise. You need to go see an addiction doc and get some help with it. Kick it before it kills you.

 
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