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Old 09-11-2004, 10:35 PM   #1
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Sarandipity HB User
I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

I finally got the courage up to tell my family. I went to my parents house this afternoon and asked my sister if I could speak to her in private. We had just sit down, made sure my girls were in the other room, I lit up a cigerette... I was scared- I finally mustered up the nerve to tell my sister, I love her. I was just getting ready to tell her, and in comes my Mom. I said I have something to tell you and it's going to be really hard for me to get it out.

I told them it was confidential and It would effect the rest of my life. I told them I had been taking pain meds for the past three years b/c of my back. I told them I wanted to "do the right thing" and get help before a real problem arises.

I told them I was going to rehab in 5 days and I need her now more than ever. I told her I was leaving on Friday for 32 days. And I needed her help to take care of the girls. She called in her husband and wanted him to hear from me what the game plan was. She was worried as well as to what I was going to tell my evil ex husband. I told her honesty is the best way to go. I havent hurt anyone yet, or lost my job, or gone to jail. I made the decision to do the right thing after reading the book, "Cracked" and knowing I cannot live life feeling numb all the time. I told her God wants my whole heart back. I told her about family weekend and she immediatly said no, she could not be there

My mom- who never wanted kids- my Dad adopted my and ou siser. She right away mensioned my girls being there would interupt her rest. I tld her It was in no way her fault- but I watched her popping pills on my my entire childhood, and it had a huge impact on me.

Im ending now.. with 5 days to go...
Im relieved my sister agreed to take care of my kids.
Im relieved they are staying with her.

Another sign from the Lord.

MUCH LOVE,
Sara
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"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
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Old 09-11-2004, 11:34 PM   #2
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natthebug HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Sara~ I hope you are able to get well in the rehab, standing strong in the Lord is very important! What were you addicted to? I watched my mom do so many different things growing up I am surprised I never did the drugs I did around my kids. ThankGOD I got out of it all before I had kids. Let me know how it goes I will be praying for you. ~Natalie

 
Old 09-12-2004, 04:29 AM   #3
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lisaaahubb HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Way to go Sara!!!!! I have been on and off the boards for a couple of weeks now...so fill me in briefly....how long are you going???? I see your sister will be watching the kiddies. That has got to be a BIG relief!!! Don't worry about the evil little ex-husband....you will see how much easier it is to deal with him when you are stone sober!!! i have an evil ex too....and a sometimes evil hubby LOL Oh well, you must be getting nervous....don't be...this is the best choice you have made for you and your children. I am so thrilled you are going to be getting the help you need. WAY TO GO!!!!! Try to enjoy the rest of your weekend and keep strong!!! I am praying for you
luv,
LISA

 
Old 09-12-2004, 06:16 AM   #4
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windysan HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Good job Sara. The honesty part is a very good start. You are going to do very well.

 
Old 09-12-2004, 06:46 AM   #5
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goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Sara-
That was beautiful-you are going to make it..you got the right attitude-
Goddess Bless you and i will send you a prayer today for your recovery.
You made a courageous leap-im proud of you!
32 days-is a good long stay-enough to detox you-and be thru w/ most of the residual w/d you will come home strong and ready to take on life again-
Thankfully-you have some support from your sis-the kids will be fine-and you can really take this time to heal and learn-thru the groups/therapy/meetings.
Your going to do really well- i can feel-it!!!
peace/love-
GGrl65

 
Old 09-12-2004, 07:35 AM   #6
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Ellnyc HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5

Oh Sara, Congratulations! You have taken the first step by telling your family and admitting you have a problem. You are also on your way with the 2nd step of recovery by putting yourself in rehab and asking for help! Wonderful!
I too have been been down the same path and have been clean for 16 years. ~Your life will only get better~Best of luck to you!
Warmly,
Ellync

 
Old 09-12-2004, 07:43 AM   #7
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Sarandipity HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Lisa,
Yes, Im pretty scared- I have so much to do til then and its only 5 days away. I am going to work up until Friday- then drive up there after work. I want them to know at work- Im not a quitter, rather a strong person- who somehow was blindsided by my craving for these lil' devil pills- and seeking help BEFORE I get in a wreck, BEFORE I burn the house down, BEFORE I trip down the stairs and break my neck- then my kids and left w/o a Mommy.
BEFORE a judge orders me to go to rehab.

Yes, the evil ex. No telling what he will tell my girls. I have already explained to my oldest one, Im going to get my back fixed- which I am going to be doing my excercises my PT showed me how to do. And I also told my 3 year old Mommy's going to get help for my back- I asked her if that was okay with her and she said yes, she would love to stay w/ her Aunt. I told both of them I would return a better Mommy.

Lisa- when do you get your dental surgery done? Have you scheduled it yet? Im sure it's not cheap.
Hey- thanks for the words of encouragment. It helps and Ive said this on a previous post on a different thread- not sure if you read it- seeing you clean for 60 days made me happy for you- but jealous. I want to be clean- I know I will be able to handle the evil ex husband better sober.

Goddessgrl - My heart is excited Im going to get better and my head is scared. Check my thread, I think I named it "Rehab wants me there now, I want to go on the 17th" They gave me a payment deal which is very unheard of. It's becuase if the beds are not filled up- thats what they do- to get people to come it. It worked for me b/c even w/ insurance it's costing me 10 grand. Ouch! Cheap price for saving my life though.

Love yall' from Texas...
Having a slumber party right now and we are going to McDonalds- Thank you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you thank you for the posts!

Love, Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-14-2004, 07:33 AM   #8
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Christine1984 HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Hey sara, GOOD LUCK!!! I HOPE THINGS GO GREAT!!! YOU HAVENT EMAILED ME BACK???? IM THE ONE WITH THE SLEEP ISSUES CAUSE OF SEROQUEL!!!! IM ADDICTED TO SEROQUEL IT SEEMS!! 7DAYS NOW NO SLEEP!! NOT EVEN 5minutes. nothing.. Nothing seems to put me to sleep except a high dose of seroquel, but the dr does not want me to take a high dose, so im listening to him, and by doing that I havent slept in 7days straight. I hope you get off those pain pills.. I know pain pills are very addictive. Pleasee keep me updated. I will miss you!! love, christina

 
Old 09-14-2004, 08:56 AM   #9
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WICHRIS HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Hey Sara,Christine,GGrl65,Wind,Lisa,.hope I didnt leave anyone out! It seems
as if it has been forever since I last talked with everyone...Hey- I miss you
guys and where has that BC been? - last I heard from her , her dad had the
hip surgery and then began to have some complications after the surgery
due to his other medical issues..BC if ya read this , I miss ya gal and am
praying for you,your family and continued peace,serenity and recovery for
ya--possibly a time to " step up " some meetings BC ??...just worried about
ya.." my sixth sense " is telling me you got some " troubling things " goin
on right now in your life and well I love ya gal!!!..On a different note,Sara
so very glad you told your family,including the " evil ex husband "...I now
consider my ex the " the evil ex lover ! "....Hey, Sara how ya doin ?...What
are you up too lately??...been thinking about you all night,this morning..
Still got you " covered in prayers and special devotions to the saints.."..Lovin
every bit of you including all your emotions,anger,feelings,trepidation..!..
Hey Christine ,I dont believe I ever introduced myself to ya..My name is
Chris ( short for Christina ) ,35 yrs old and live in the midwest...You
mentioned Seroquel and having trouble sleeping and a " high dose,etc "..
I am quite well versed when it comes to meds so if nothing else would
be happy to lend an ear to ya and help ya anyway I can...GGrl65 - I am
very sorry to hear about your sister and boyfriend..I will send thoughts
of peace,serenity and recovery to all of you...hmm- wish I had a sister
like you,Sara,Lynn,BC,Alice,etc..even a brother would do !!...as I am a
single child..okay enough of my sibling pity party!..In addition,GGrl65 I
have NOT forgot about that "letter of thanks-I NEED to write ya.." I
guess I am just having trouble believing I was at that point in my
life when I first posted late one night and BC answered..immediately,
the next morning I deleted that initial post...I am having trouble coming
up with the right words,emotions,etc..

Peace...Love..Recovery to ALL....Chris

 
Old 09-14-2004, 10:21 AM   #10
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Christine1984 HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Hey WICHRIS, yes my name is Christine I live in NY! I am 20. been on psychiatric meds for the wrong reasons because i was wild and hyper when i was 11 and my dad couldnt put up with that, so he told a shrink and then thats when it started the medication erras. Its been hard dealing with these side effects. from being on depekot at age 14 that made me gain over 200pds. at 14 i weighed 125, then from being on depekote shot up to 322. I developed a Thyroid condition on this drug and also Polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is no periods, obesity and infertilty nad facial hair growth. this is all from depekote. Got off depekote, but still have these terrible things wrong with me. I lost about 150 from being off depekote, but then i was put on Zyprexa than I gained more weight and from that drug i developed PRE DIABETES!!! its called insulin resistance. now im off that drug!!! at age 16 1/2 or 17 started Seroquel and this drug for 3 or more years striaght always messed with my natural sleep cycles. Im 20 now and 6 months ago i stopped seroquel cold turkey for 1 month and i literally didnt sleep that whole month straight, because my body was used to the seroquel knocking me out. IN MY EYES I THOUGHT I CAN STOP THESE MEDS AND GO BACK TO NORMAL!!! I THOUGHT WRONG!!! from not sleeping that whole month straight i developed weird tingiling sensations that start at my head and travel to my toes. when this happened i decided to go back on serqouel. THINKING THE SENSATIONS AND NUMBNESS WILL GO AWAY!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! ITS 6months later now still on seroquel and still have these tingiling sensations but no numbness, but i do get some pain in my left chest and collar bone with these sensations. Im also on other meds now!! 5 months ago i started trileptal. doesnt do anything for me except make me have skippied heart beats. i reduced down to 75mgs of trileptal now. 3weeks now on 25mgs at bedtime of topamax and 200mgs of seroquel and 200mgs of Trazadone. but all these meds still dont do anything for my sleep. my insomnia is so bad from the meds that its crazy. Its 7days right now that i havent had any sleep, because the doctor lowered my seroquel to 200mgs. i was on 300mgs and slept fine, but the sensations didnt go away. still have them to this day. FAMILY LIFE IS NO GOOD>> never had a mother. she dont call me and dont live with me. she has never been a part of my life since i was 6. my dad is controlling and abusive, so i have no love in my life. except from my boyfriend but things are very hard with that relationship also. PROBLEMS PROBLEMS!!1 this is my life!! never had many friends, people always used me and talked crap behind my back. cant trust anyone because of bad experiences. so please help!11 this is some of my life history. if you want to know more just ask. Love, christina

 
Old 09-14-2004, 10:41 AM   #11
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Sarandipity HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Christina,
Yes, you do have friends. Me for one! I will talk to you and comfort you and let you know you are NOT alone! Dry those eyes sweetheart- most of us have come from bad homes. You are not going to have to live in the mess anymore. Good things have happened to me since I started to post and read this board. Heck! Im going to rehab for 32 days- and if you said that to me two months ago I would have said you were losing your mind.

You can get through this. Take deep breaths, keep seeing your doc, I suggest you go see another one for a second opinion. Keep your chin up. Keep reading the board. Know you are not alone. The abusive father, the boyfriend relationship thats not going so well, the drugs, they are all tied in together.

Im so sorry for not writing to you sooner. My head is spinning in all that I have done- and have to do for me and my two kids before I leave for 32 days on Friday.

Please keep talking to Chris, and others on this board. Trust me- Im going to be taking some good notes at rehab and hopefully I can help others when I return.

Much love, and your friend,

Sara
__________________
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-Sara

 
Old 09-14-2004, 01:21 PM   #12
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fisherpard HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Christine,

My heart goes out for you. You seem like such a sweet girl and life just sometimes does not feel fair. I pray you can find something to help you sleep because good rest is very important to a happy life.

I can relate with you on the Polyosistic Ovarian disease. My daugher who will be 14 in December has been diagnosed with it. She has had to fight the battle with un-wanted body hair. She does the bleech thing on her face but we have looked into lasar. She takes the diabetic medication Glucophage for the POD. It has helped some.

I will continue to pray for you and hope you find some refuge in sleep real soon. Please continue to come here for help. Such a great bunch of people with such kind hearts to help you.

your friend,
fisherman

 
Old 09-14-2004, 04:40 PM   #13
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Vanguard HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

I admire your courage. Congratulations!

Last edited by Vanguard; 09-14-2004 at 04:40 PM.

 
Old 09-14-2004, 05:15 PM   #14
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ScaredHelpless HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Sarandipity Can I just say how strong you are, and how much courage you have. I'm a "Newbie" and am still taking my pills struggling for the courage to be honest with myself, just the idea of coming "clean" to my family or close friends causes anxiety in my stomach. I just wanted to tell you that you are a true inspiration. Your more than half way up the hill, your battle is on the way to being fought!! I am so impressed and inspired by the strength and courage you must have to be so honest! Wow I wish you the best of luck and will be so thrilled to hear how successful you continue to be!

 
Old 09-14-2004, 10:24 PM   #15
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Sarandipity HB User
Re: I told my entire family I was addicted to pain pills, and Im going to rehab in 5 days

Besides these boards helped me to come to the realization I needed Help to go to rehab, theres this book "Cranked", by Dr. DrewPinsky, I highly recommend it. I mean it! Go out tomorrow and get the book.
Love,
Saara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
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