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Old 09-15-2004, 09:59 PM   #1
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Sarandipity HB User
2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

I told my HR Person in charge today- he said God Bless and I will be praying for you! That was GOD working! So everyone's been told- just need to pack and Im driving out there Friday night and then check in at noon on Saturday. Guess Im going to disneyland!

Love,
Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-16-2004, 05:52 AM   #2
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Christine1984 HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Hey Girl, It's me Christina!!!! WHATS GOING ON!!! Sorry that i havent gotten back to u sooner, but I dont have a computer at home and when I go to college I use the computer there. GOOD LUCK ON RECOVERY!!! Its been 2years clean for me. I havent smoked a cigarette or pot, or dust or drank alcohol in 2 years. I feel so great. Im very religious. i go to church every sunday and read my scriptures and pray every night to god. I really changed my life. I did have a gambiling addiction but its 3weeks clean for that, so now Im a good girl. What pain pills were you addicted too?? CODEINE??? I DIDNT GO TO REHAB FOR MY RECOVERY I STOPPED COLD TURKEY AND JUST GOT RID OF MY NEGATIVE FRIENDS!!!! THATS WHAT DID IT!!! AND THATS HOW I CHANGED MY LIFE!!!! ITS ALL PSYCHOLOGICAL IF U THINK ABOUT IT!!! U THINK U WANT THE DRUG OR CIGARETTE!!! ITS OUR MIND PLAYING TRICKS WITH U! JUST TELL YOURSELF OTHER THINGS LIKE IM GOING TO READ A BOOK NOW!! IM GOING TO LISTEN TO MUSIC< IM GOING TO talk on the phone, im going to go into the garden, im going to do yoga. you have to occupy your mind with positive things not negative things. thats how these unwanted thoughts get into our heads. I wish u lived closer and they allowed people to exchange email or phone numbers, because i could help u with recovery. Its all in the mind huney.. if you start eating healthy like eating SALMON and fishes and working out in the gym and take your mind away from the negative thoughts, then your mind will slowly recover from the damage the pills have done. I learned this be reading and the bible. Your a great person and friend. I will miss you, when you leave. please when you get back send me a message. IS there any other way to send messagess here, than looking for what you have wrote and then responding???? I actually slept an hour last night.. i had a dream. does that mean i slept for alittle while. The dr said i can stop one of my pills. and thats the trileptal. so now im on seroquel, topamax and trazadone. the reason i dont sleep the doctor said is because i dont take all the pillls at once. I dont like that, because of side effects!! i sorta did last night, but not exactly. I hope you like your new rehab. where are you from?? me NY..I live on a apple farm with 2 houses with my grandpa, dad, stepmom, sister carla, sister claire. there my half sisters. because there mother is not my real mother. my real mother is a very cold individual. very different than i am.. i care about everyone. i put eveyone before myself, and im very giving. how old are your daughters?? do they know whats going on??? whose going to watch them while your gone?? and how about your joj??? well im in college now, and i got to get going, but i will send you one last message tomorrow. i hope you will be okay. Do a lot of praying to god!!! You will learn a lot from this experience. you are only bettering sara. Love always, Christina

 
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Old 09-16-2004, 06:19 AM   #3
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Twinlynn HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Dearest Sara -

Our (Alice and my) wish for you, as you leave home, with a certain strength... but, nevertheless, nervous, scared, uncertain, missing your children, and filled with some doubt--is that you come home to us as the "complete" Sara -- filled with with all the wonderful things that are already part of you....and all this newfound energy, strength and freedom to become all the things you have always wished to be. It won't happen all at once...but it WILL happen. First....you will find the strength to make those small changes...and that, in turn, will offer you the encouragement to make those even greater changes..And, so it shall go! :-)

However--there IS one Rehab limitiation I feel I must empathize to you....And...that is....'tho Rehab can help you overcome your greatesr problem, addiction--there's little more they can do to make such an already beautiful inner person as yourself any MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU ALREADY ARE!!!! (Take a bow, Sara!) : -)

We love you and will miss you. Terribly! The Boards will echo with calls of "where's Sara????" But we'll know you are in the best place of all--a place where you will have the chance to grow and to learn and to come back to us as the person you hope to become. (And I've always thought the "OLD Sara" was pretty darn great to START with! So...I shall be counting off the days until the return of the "NEW Sara!" xxx

Sooooo.........Safe journey and so much love from Lynn Twin and Alice Twin. xxxxx

(PS Last minute practical suggestion--do you like crosswords puzzles, words games or jigsaws?. You can ease into this casual and fun way of getting to know other people by setting up a table--and all pitching in to turn 1500 jagged cardboard pieces into the Alps of Austria! Or....open the game of Boggle...and see who comes up with the most words!!! Or....share your daily crossword puzzle ...calling out clues, to get new friends involved.)

 
Old 09-16-2004, 06:47 AM   #4
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WICHRIS HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Dear Sara..Hey, I have missed talking with ya gal !...To answer your question,
hmm..I spent 2 weeks at disneyworld not long ago - the magic kingdom,
epcot,and of course hit all the water parks..and also spent many,many years
ago for a " short-10 day inpatient rehab " stay..Indeed there were many
similarities between the two ,nothing I never really thought about until I saw
your post..Both places had many new firsts , adventures for me and actually
upon returning from both I felt revitalized ,like a "kid " again ,with an enitirely
new perspective on life ,me and my suroundings...both places I remember
fondly for they each although in different ways allowed me to come back
a "better me " and able to enjoy and live life a better way...So for whats its
worth that was my experience...How are doing today kiddo?..I am very,very
happy that HR went great !..Dang, I just knew all those "catholic saints "
wouldnt let us down...I think lately God has me on " speed dial "..too bad
I couldnt just use my fax at home as it would be much more efficient !..Thinking of you as always ,lovin my Sara and hope to hear from
ya soon..I will be around the boards quite a bit today and tomorrow...

Wishin my Sara the Best as Always...Love..Chris

 
Old 09-16-2004, 07:00 AM   #5
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Christine1984 HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Christina, I sent you an earlier post, did you recieve it. its on the other post of saras where she finally told her parents that she was taking pain pills. I wrote you a long post and havent heard back from you. so i hope you get a chnace to read it. How are you doing??? im doing alittle better??? i have been clean of drugs for 2 years pot, dust, cigarettes and alcohol. i did my own rehab chris. i stopped cold turkey and got rid of my negative friends. I pray a lot now. Im in college right now, so i cant talk to long. I guess your not reading all these messages. I hope you get a chance. i will chat later, love, christina. PS me and u have the same name

Last edited by AddictionMod; 09-16-2004 at 07:39 AM. Reason: Do not discuss making personal contact (i.e. e-mailing) on this message board.

 
Old 09-16-2004, 10:39 AM   #6
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Best Friend HB User
Smile Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Sara - wow! - can't believe that time has gone so fast and tomorrow is 'the day.' Selfishly, I will admit to ALREADY missing your posts! I don't write much, but I have kept up with your story. You're going with such a good attitude and I suspect that that is half the battle. The 'other half' will be supported by the staff and, just as importantly, by the new friends you will make. And don't forget the cheering vibes that will be coming from all of us, here. If you get near a computer, do let us know how things are going. I will be scanning the Board in a month or so to be amongst the first to welcome you "home." Hugs, Sara. Here's to a new life and to peace. To our wonderful Sara -- CHEERS!
Alice

 
Old 09-16-2004, 11:39 AM   #7
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fisherpard HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Sara " my adopted mom"

I can't believe time has flew by and tomorrow is the big day. You have made me so proud of you. I know with your attitude that you will be a big success story. You will give us all hope and desire and the new motto around here will be "like Sara" and not "be like Mike".LOL

I will say a special prayer for you every day until we here from your first post back. What can I say other than "I think you are the best mom right now". I don't know what I will say when you are a success in recovery but you will deserve a double crown from now on.

A lot of people will be lost around here for 32 days because you give so much encouagement to all. I guess I am selfish because the ole fisherman will miss you coming to my rescue.

Hang in there and give the kids a kiss from your friend the fisher.

fisherman

 
Old 09-16-2004, 12:26 PM   #8
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octomon HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Sara,
Bon Voyage to you! I know you will return with new and valueable tools to apply to your life and continue feeding your recovery...and I KNOW you'll want to share them all with us here This is truly a golden opportunity to love Sara and embrace all the healing you deserve.

I'll be deep into recovery over this next month as well, and will be thinking of you, be inspired by you, and keep sending you positive vibes during this time. Say hi to Mickey & Minnie for me!

Christine,
It needs to be said that your current posts sound like you're doing MUCH better than a couple of days ago. You have had to overcome so much and sound like you really made some crucial and difficult choices along the way to save your life. It's stories like yours that make me feel I can certainly overcome what I've got on my own plate, so thank you for sharing. Take that next step now and get some more professional opinions on your current meds, okay? You deserve EVERY possible chance to get some normal sleep and enjoy all the improved stability this will bring you.

peace,
octomon

 
Old 09-16-2004, 02:20 PM   #9
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aliasagent HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Sara,
I'm so proud of you! You will do great!

Take care and be strong!

 
Old 09-16-2004, 04:06 PM   #10
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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DallasAlice HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Ah Sara,

The time has come, my friend, and although the board will seem quiet for awhile, it will be time well spent. I am so anxious to hear from you upon your return and find out if you got the answers to the request you made in the first thread of yours I ever read "...take me away, this pain!"

I know this isn't going to be a vacation or an easy time of it, lots of soul searching awaits you, so in my attempt to tell you how inspiring your selfless act of leaving your job and your family behind as you venture to this unknown place to find some peace--inspiration is in seeing a part of the whole with the part of the whole in you. You are taking a piece of each of us with you as you go, and you will come back whole again and we will all get to share that.

Well, Sara, since you have to go, I guess you better go now...tears aside, and best foot forward, okay? Take care, and come home soon, we'll be waiting!

Love you,
Dallas

 
Old 09-16-2004, 05:53 PM   #11
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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Sarandipity HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

AAAAhhhhhh Dallas Alice- Your making me cry! I am venturing off- pretty much throwing all the peices in the air, and going to try to catch em, research them, go over all of my relationships, and my way of living with a fine tooth comb (who do you think ever made that up lol), and put it all back together again- better and stronger than before.

And YES I will bring back knowledge.
This will be my notebook:

Sunday: September 19th 2004 7:30 pm- going through w/d's want to crawl out of my skin. Green wallpaper is ugly, think Im going to rip it off the wall if they dont give me a shot of hydro whatever!

Oh look- here comes the nurse... OUCH- She pinched and squeezed and hurt my nice, yeah, 7:30 Pinched and squeezed and hurt my neck.


Lots of knowlege. LOL Really, I am taking a peice of EVERYONE! You will be with my in spirit.

Loving you SOSOOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO much!

-Sara
__________________
"I believe that friends lift us up when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-Sara

 
Old 09-17-2004, 06:38 AM   #12
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Twinlynn HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Okay, Sara, THIS IS IT!!! AND AWAAAAAAAAYYYYYY WE GO!!!

I would defintely arrive with paint chips, wallpaper books, fabric samples, floor tiles--everything you need to make your environment as soothing and as pretty as you need it to be! LOL! I can just see it: Sara walking in, looking around in utter disgust..and snapping to the director of the program "Good heavens!! What kind of drugs did YOU score, the day you decorated this place? Ugh! You've got two minutes to clear these rooms, so that I can turn them into an environment I'll be PROUD to writhe and roll in!!!! Hmmm....how about something like...cool minty green with warm peach accents? Oh...I don't know--perhaps just clonidine walls dotted with Immodium accidents....UH OH...I MEANT "accents.".....LOLOL! :-)

You have a very safe drive down there. And once you arrive, try being just a good observer at first...watch the interrelationships between staff and patients. And between patients and other patients! With your canny Sixth Sense you will be certain to pick up even a partial sense of the group's dynamics...and the "cliques" (if there are any.) It is so perfectly normal to initially rally around those sharing problems close to your own. Children vs. no children; married vs. single. Hard core user vs. "I don't belong here," and so on, and so on.

And soon, you will have the lay of the land....and you will get to meet them all. And you might be amazed to discover that your closest friend at the Rehab turns out to be from a world you knew nothing about--and the two of you may share and go through the withdrawal month, learning just as many important things about one another as you do learning about changing your drug behavior.

Whatever happens...it will be such a learning experience for you, Sara. And whenever you pause to check you clock or your watch...you just remember us all....'cause each one of us will be thinking "What's Sara doing right now? Yoga? Listening in on a group meeting to discuss people's hidden defenses? Doubled up in the bathroom, not knowing what's coming or going (YUCK!), Sound asleep, dreaming that a Fed. Ex. package shows up at the Rehab Center--and the receptionist calls out to you "Hey, Sara, Fed Ex for you..some pharmacy. Enjoy!!" (LOLOL!)..or, perhaps, more realistically (!), you'll be sharing with your Team Leader, possible ways to help your brain "unlearn" the way in which you lived your life...where your filofax was filled to the rim with appt. after appt.--but with only appt's scheduled with your pills. :-(

This Rehab may be your greatest hope for learning to exchange those "old friends" for so much better ones. Friends who are not there to eat away at you--like these have tried to. In so many ways, this Rehab will be helping you--medically for the withdrawals, psychologically to teach you a new way to fill your life, etc. I'm sure you're not going to arrive home 100 percent convinced....but the month you will have just gone through will have given you at least a foundation of how to keep going. And all those emotional peaks and troughs you may experience will be so normal. Here is where others who have been to Rehab will be able to share your concerns.

I will be rooting for you every hour, Sara. (And I know how much those little children you love with all your heart will be, too.)

And, whatever you do learn and take home from your month at Rehab, it could never make you a more caring, sharing compassionate person than you already are. Rehab will send you home with some great things....but they will be just garnishing on a cake, already so beautifully baked and decorated!! :-)

thinking of you.......xxxx Love ya, Lynn xxx

 
Old 09-17-2004, 06:50 AM   #13
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JenC523 HB User
Re: 2 MORE DAYS! I THNIK IM GOING TO DISNEYLAND or REHAB : Is there a difference?

Dearest Sara:

I am so hoping that I am not too late in sending my best wishes to you....... I have been counting down the days right along with you. I wanted to get on here yesterday and post a nice long "send-off", but unfortunately, my dad had an emergency situation and is in the hospital (where I have also been spending my time) So anyway........

I know today is the last day you will be on the boards, right? Although, wouldn't that be cool if the rehab had some (even limited) access to computers for the patients to use, to e-mail family and friends and the like? Ya never know! If they do, you know how much all of us here would love to hear from you!!! This is sounding SO selfish, I'm concerned about not having you around for a month when you will be working hard on the most challenging and most important change in your life. (sorry)

It sounds like you may be planning on keeping a journal, great idea. I'll bet you read that thing for a long, long time. It will always serve as a reminder of the struggles you endured while working on your recovery. You will probably make some lifelong friends in rehab, people you will share your innermost feelings with. I was never big on group therapy, but when I entered the methadone program, I was required to attend group and individual therapy. I made huge strides in the group setting (once I could finally open up). I was fortunate to be among very honest, sincere people who changed the way I look at group therapy. After all, it's always such an enormous relief to know there are real live people who feel the same way we do. We are not alone. There may be some moments in rehab when you do feel alone, but you must promise to remember all the people on this board who deeply care about you...hold that very close to your heart.

I have to stop, I'm beginning to ramble, but it's like not wanting to hang up the phone when talking to a treasured friend. You are facing one of the greatest challenges in your life....but also....one of life's greatest gifts. The gift of inner peace, self-acceptance and forgiveness, and a genuine gratefulness for all you have been blessed with. I understand the meaning of taking things "one day at a time", but just think of what the future holds for you and your beautiful girls. Even the little things, like this Christmas....you will have all that extra time on your hands (from not pill chasing, counting, etc) that you can devote fully and whole-heartedly to your girls...what fun! This might be the best Christmas ever!! (And don't think for a moment that your girls won't notice the wonderful change in their mommy). If you happen to have a "low or lonely" time in rehab, think of times like this that are in your future. Everything has seemingly fallen into place for you to enter rehab on Saturday, so your journey is off to a good start.

Please know that I am thinking of you, praying for you, and missing you. I can't wait for the day I check out the board and I notice your name along with a new thread "I'm back....clean and better than ever!!!!"

Take care my friend. Love, Hugs, and More Hugs.... Jen

PS: Did I tell how PROUD I am of you????? I am....REALLY, REALLY PROUD!!

 
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