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Old 09-21-2004, 07:39 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 121
Christine1984 HB User
Message to DallasAlice

Hey guys, Just want to get to know you two? Im sara's friend! Im from Westchester County Ny. I am 20, but act like 30. I am a college student. I come on here, because i have gone through addiction also. I was addicted to sleeping pills, that im still on, and the dr is trying to get me off them. I also have a terrible famile upbringing. Never had a mother. My mother left my father when I was 6. so I was without a mother my whole life. My dad is controlling and abusive. I live on an apple orchard with grandpa in one house, thats where i stay, and my dad, stepmom, half sister claire 10, half sister carla 13 in the other house. I never had any real friends. people always used me, because im a good hearted person. Now i dont have really any friends, except my boyfriend. I have a psychiatric illness due to my father, because i was hyper active when i was younger and my dad didnt want to deal with me, so he complained to a shrink about me and thats when they put me on these strong addictive drugs at age 11, and in still on them. My life is alittle better now, because i got rid of my negative friends and my drug habit that i fogot to tell u just pot,dust and cigarettes. I quit all three of them. now im very religious. If u want to learn more about me go to sara's post on the 2nd page i think saying she finally admitted to telling her parents about her addiction to pain pills. I wrote a long story about my life, that you can read. I really want you to read it, and get back to me hun!!!! So whats your life life?? This is just part of it??? I got to go, im in college. I got a class now. Love ya, Christina Write back to me real soon!!!!!

Last edited by Christine1984; 09-23-2004 at 07:40 AM.

 
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Old 09-23-2004, 07:08 AM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 121
Christine1984 HB User
Re: Message to DaliceAlice

DallasAlice, I also sent you a message and you havent sent me a message back!!! I have been sending you, TwinLynn and Wicchris messages and non of u are responding??? I would like to be pen pals, if thats okay with you all??? Whats going on with you guys, that you cant write me a nice message. I wrote all about my life on different posts. Do you not like me? Can you just be real with me and admit that? Thank you!!! Please write back!! Love, Christina

 
Old 09-23-2004, 06:46 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 285
DallasAlice HB User
Re: Message to DaliceAlice

Hi Christina,

I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I try to catch a peek at the board at least once a day, but don't always get a chance to write. The problem with me is that I can't ever make a short post to just say hi and let you know I appreciate your writing me! I tend to go into long diatribes and can end up spending hours on here...sigh, so many folks I would like to get to know and so little time to spend on the 'puter sometimes. I have two kids (16 and 12) who are computer hogs when they are here as they always have homework to do and need the internet, so I also tend to disappear from here every other week or so.

So I've read your post to me and also in some other threads. I see you know Sara...I'm so curious about what rehab is like?! It's driving me crazy wondering how she is doing. About your story, man...it seems like you have been dealt a pretty rough hand and have a lot on your plate to deal with and for someone so young who seems quite alone, I wonder how you deal with it? You do seem to be rising above it all in the sense that you are moving ahead with college and congrats on dumping the old "toxic" friends. That's not always easy, but there is no reason to keep them in your life now, you've changed and they haven't, and they could easily cause you to go back to a lifestyle you chose to leave behind for something better.

I read your other thread about not sleeping, and I have a history of insomnia also, but I never went as long as you did. I know when I read your post I couldn't imagine what you must have felt like physically! Are you sleeping any better now? Do you think there is something about your presc. drug regimen that could be adjusted so you might sleep better? I hope you have told your dr. about the sleep situation because I truly believe that sleep deprivation can cause huge emotional and physical problems. My insomnia (and my addiction of course) ruined the last relationship I was in. He couldn't understand my inability to sleep at all...he was one of those who goes to bed, falls asleep within 10 minutes, and sleeps straight thru the night for 8 hours (or more if he could!). I couldn't even begin to imagine that as I doubt I've slept like that since I was a kid (and a pretty young kid at that) until now, that is. Now I am on methadone for my 20+ year addiction to pain pills, and it's been a true life saver and lifestyle altering treatment for me. For the first time in so long I am actually sleeping and I feel so different. That's why your post on the sleeplessness caught my eye and I will say, I was concerned about you and wondered how a person could actually go through that. I thought about writing you, but I didn't even know where to start, but I apologize for seeing a topic like that which I can relate to to a degree yet didn't take the time to look further into it. There's a reason they used sleep deprivation as a form of torture in past wars, etc., it can make you literally insane I think...

It's good to read that people can be as self-disciplined as you were in simply changing friends and thought processes from negative to positive. I see where you get a lot from your faith, and I am glad for you that you have that as a source of inspiration and guidance. I admit, I am a bit lacking in that area, but some things have happened to me lately that are causing me to rethink things.

Sorry again for not writing back sooner, and when I check the boards, I will keep a better eye out for your posts! Take care of yourself, try not to overload yourself with the college work, and given your current diagnoses, I sure hope they are handling your prescriptions appropriately?! It seems as if you've been on some a very long time, but I have to say that of course I am no dr., and I also don't recognize the drugs you are supposed to take nor what they are for...maybe you could enlighten me on that?

All my best,

Dallas Alice

 
Old 09-24-2004, 07:13 AM   #4
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 121
Christine1984 HB User
Re: Message to DaliceAlice

Hey Dallas Alice, Im so Happy You finally got back to me! I was waiting for you to write back. I have been getting maybe 2-3 hours of sleep now with these new meds the new dr put me on. Im on Topamax and Trazadone. Topamax is for Mood and Trazadone is for Anxiety and Sleep. Im also on Seroquel, WHICH I WANT TO GET OFF!! This is the drug in which i stopped for 1 month and didnt sleep that whole time period. I always used to sleep fine when I was young, only until I started to use seroquel 4 years ago that it messed with my natural sleep habits. I feel bad for you that u went so long with an addiction to pain killers. Now your on Medadone. Thats a drug for Heroin addicts???? That try to kick there habit! I know alittle about rehab. My cousin went all the time to different rehabs. He is a real junky. he is a heroin addict, and still is. They do a lot of groups in rehab, and activities. The groups are about drugs of course and how to over come your problems in a more positive way. How much sleep deprivation did u have? Many nights?? I am in college now and have a class, so I cant be on long. Gotta go sweety. Love, Christina

Last edited by AddictionMod; 09-24-2004 at 07:38 AM. Reason: Do not ask other posters for personal information.

 
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