Oh Painman...I feel your pain (no pun intended
It sounds like you are not being treated properly. That's why you are finding other ways to get pain meds and taking more than the prescribed dose.
When we cp'rs have a med that's no longer working it's just human nature to find other ways to combat the pain. In my case I started drinking way to much...go figure ... drinking to help a gastric condition??? At least it put my mind in another place.
Where we get into trouble with addiction is when we are getting adequate pain relief (I don't mean pain free unfortunately as that is rarely acheived, but pain management that gets to tolerant levels). The addiction part happens when our pain is being managed so that we can function but we go ahead and take the "little extra" to get high.
It doesn't sound like that is what you are doing. It sounds to me like you are truly trying to manage your pain because your doctors are not doing thier job to help you.
Can you find another doc? You may be tolerant to certain classes of pain meds, but there are sooo many to try all combat pain differently. There is also an implanted pump that has worked for many who have felt "hopeless".
I stronly urge you to post your story on the Pain Management board. There is a WONDERFUL member who posts there - (Shoreline is his member name). I'd swear he's a doc....he's not, but he's been dealing with cp for a long time and has been thru it all. He is very kind to share his thoughts and is very helpful.
Again, you don't sound to me like you are out there taking too many meds just to get high. You sound like you are just trying to relieve the pain. That's not an addict.
It saddens me that you cannot find better medical care. And don't feel like you are whining....all of us have whined and ranted at one time or another and it really helps!!! And yes, there are probably other people out there who are worse, but that doesn't belittle your situation at all.
My best advice to you would be to find some other doc or pain management clinic if you can. Please let me know how things are going!!!! (And don't worry about whining
....we ALL do that. I'm not whining right now cause I'm not in tons of pain - I have a GREAT doc!!! But I've been known for my share of whining and ranting and it DOES make me feel better!!!
Take good care,