Hi guys and gals.
It's me Baseball65..I came here to get some advice and support the first time I tried to kick,which unfortunately was unsuccessful.I'm back and could still use a little advice/help.
I used the quick version of the sub detox and manged to stay off of Hydro for about 25 or so days,after 5-6 years on it..that was back in july...Ive been back on for 2 months now.
Everything was going fine,until I was back in my usual routine,and had a bout with a Dentist who gave me nothing(offered nothing either) for some major roadwork he did.That episode,compounded with the daily frustrations of life/parenting....You know the rest of the story.."I'll only take two and then....."
I haven't gone back to Morphine or used as many drugs,But I am doing the 7-10 Lortab a day mambo,with a couple of MGs of xanax.
I've noticed from reading newer posts that now Subutex seems to be a temporary maintainance drug and not a 5 day quickie treatment.I'm wondering if I should have been on it longer?
I had a quick detox...a miserable second detox..and then never again really felt OK...I was doing alright,but when in any sort of stressful situation I was having a meltdown of anger and Psychological torment.
Obviously I'm not OK with myself on the lortabs anymore,but I'm afraid to get help again and to get left with that zero-empty-anger feeling I was having..
How do I find a sub doctor in my area? I live in Nashville now(re: I was moving this summer) and I am really sick of needing to constantly aquire meds...there's too much stuff I liked about being sober,even for a brief moment,to keep living this dullard existence,but I'm afraid......of the Turkey and the follow-up..
Thanks for any advice
Hey baseball!!!! I have missed you!!!! Speaking of baseball, we are going to my son's "all-star little league" banquet tonight at 4:30~~~
I can't give much advice, but KEEP ON TRYING!!!
That is what they keep telling me at the meetings i go to, we WILL eventually "get" it right. You just gotta keep trying, pick yourself back up and start all over. I really think this time for me, i am NOT counting days, it makes it too hard that way. Just worry about one day and one day only. You sound so much like me in your post. It is amazing. I didn't do the sub thing but was wondering about it since i am now considering myself a "chronic relapser".....but i am also finding out that when the time comes to kick the sub. people end up BACK on hydos to ease the w/d of the sub
I don't know......i guess i'll just keep trying.....you gotta too!!!!!!
This dam disease seems to get the best of us, at times....i'll get it licked one of these times.
I wish you the best and just wanted to say a quick and let you know you are NOT ALONE, i am out here in cyber-space feeling those same dam things you are.
Try to have a good Sunday....
p.s. How bout them Red Sox last night??????
"Welcome back"--even though I know that "returnees" are having difficulties again! I am really sorry to hear of these problems--but it is still nice to see your name again!
Recently, there have been a stream of Suboxone posts. (Not so much Subutex) Plus Banker, Godessgrl and several others have been on suboxone for awhile and can tell you their experiences. Do check the archives.
Also, there have been newspapers articles, etc. discussing this drug. It's definitely growing in popularity...although it's too new for doctors to really know the long-term effects of it. But it's certainly used for longer than a quick detox. In general, I've heard great things about suboxone...except for how tough it is to get off it. You have to taper really slowly.
But..for what it's worth...I'll be calling a sub doctor myself very shortly...and am going to give it a try.
Try to read some of the stuff people have written on Sub, since you've been away.
take care, Lynn
PS Lisa - I haven't been checking the boards all that much these last two weeks. You are thinking of Sub, too, eh?
I've not tried the Sub route but I have friends who have tried. All failed in the long run. Hate to sound so negative but I think it is the "tapering" thing at the end which causes many to fail. I like the old way.....kicking in a detox with a inpatient rehab afterward. You just gotta get back on that horse and try to ride again. Good luck Baseball.
Sorry to hear that you had a relapse. Its OK and almost everybody does. I know I certainly have in the past. With the hydros and Sub, I relapsed many times. So don't be hard on yourself. It just sucks that we put ourselves through the ringer so many times.
Maybe you should try to be on the Sub longer for maintenance. I did that for a few months, relapsed with hydros, back on the Sub , tapered , replapsed again, and finally tapered with hydros and Sub. Finally,I can proudly say that I've been sober for about 3 months now. It was a lot of hard work and you have to be mentally prepared for it or else!
I feel great. Although I lack motivation in life right now, I know it will come back eventually. I am just enjoying life right now again.
Cali hearing your story gives me great hope and congrats to you 3 mo is great! baseball cant really tell you if the sub is the way for you or not but I was jst like you 7-15 lortabs then xanax at night been on the sub for 6 months now and will be trying to get off it I guess like Cali did look at the sub web site and you can look for doctors in your area on there that is how I found my doc.good luck buddy and hang in there this game is winnable.
.the suboxone was my way out..w/o that..i probably would still be using/kicking/relapsing-thats what this disease is all about..its a chronic..relapsing disease..it took about 20 trys-before i got 2 yrs sober..and then i relapsed again..and here i am-maintained on suboxone.
But-its legal,affordable and i can get on w/ life..
Like Cali-my motivation is low..my creativity..is kinda pushed down-my husband is also on it..But he is doing well-hes on 2 mgs..works 2 jobs/plays his guitar/jams/and is super focused.He also does NOT have the depression issues i have.
I will tell ya this-Sub is the answer for people who have long standing addiction-2-5 years..the damage is done-the pathways are reconfigured-its like your trying to go against nature..you WANT to quit-but its near impossible-due to your chemistry..yes-people do..and i did-it took every drop of strength i had to get thru a day-after 3 months its a bit easier-but i was craving that i would rip thru my house/drawers/books looking for stash..it was insane.
I got heavily into spiritual work-that saved me-i joined a grp of other wiccans-they were very supportive-i was doing much better-having a spiritual path..i believe thats part of why folks have success in the AA/NA-i put my band back together-we were well recieved..but..you know rock n roll-and its distractions..i relapsed being back in that world-
So here i am-i approve this message..lol...haha..
Google on suboxone-go to their website use the physican locator-give it a whirl.
You can't use w/ it..no high-and you will not benifit from what its supposed to do-kinda mess's up the groove..once stabilised-you willNOT crave hydro..
You will be able to be productive-you won't be distracted from the urges to use.
You just kind of plain off
Its worth checking out