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Old 10-02-2004, 03:18 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Memphis
Posts: 38
lilaculpepper HB User
This Too Shall Pass

Hi, all. It's Lila again.

I've faltered down the road to relapse just as many of you have done before. I'm out of my Lortabs right now and back on the roller coaster of forced CT's with no relief in sight until my doc opens back up next Tuesday. Even then I'm not guaranteed a refill.

Anyway, I have happy news to deliver - I've landed a great-paying job with a wonderful bunch of folks who are friendly and treat me with respect. A far cry from my LAST job over a year ago that more often than not sent me home in tears. I've only been working for a week so I hope I can keep the positive attitude going about the ol' grind for as long as possible.
My fiance is THRILLED with the extra income and is already planning for buying a house next year and paying off ALL our old debt.

The reason I thought of you guys today is this: getting through day 2 is rough. I'm feeling very anxious right now and am a little scared of going through one of my classic panic attacks so I lay down in bed to relax and watch a little Food Network (gourmet food is always a good distraction) when I remembered the plaque my mom bought me a month ago when I was crying to her about my W/D's.
It's a lovely wooden plaque from this site and I think that, since they are relatively cheap at $17.47, everyone on this board should buy one: http://www.rusticdecorating.com/-268.html. It reads very simply "This too shall pass" and you can choose from a variety of colors and styles.

I hung it over the doorway in my bedroom so it's one of the first things I see when I wake up in the morning and I can gaze at it throughout the day. You would be AMAZED the relief and piece of mind such a simple item can bring you when you feel like ripping your hair out or crying.

Just wanted to share my little discovery with all of you in case it can bring some calm to your lives as well.

Take care and I'll be checking in.

 
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Old 10-02-2004, 06:13 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 77
octomon HB User
Re: This Too Shall Pass

If there ever was a relevant WD message to read, that must be it! Keep that mantra in your head because you WILL get through this. Congratulations on the new job. I hope this new path in your life can help inspire you to stay clean. I know having something to motivate me / look forward to makes a big difference for me.

Speaking of food....I heard last night that the 'opiate-blocker' drug in suboxone [Naltrexone?] was given to people considered chocolate 'addicts', and the result was MUCH less desire to eat chocolate! So many things we put in our bodies act as drugs, it's amazing! Today I've been very careful of my sugar and caffeine intake, and I feel much more stable and much less opiate-driven....Just some food for thought.

 
Old 10-03-2004, 08:46 AM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 100
Vanguard HB User
Re: This Too Shall Pass

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilaculpepper
Hi, all. It's Lila again.


It's a lovely wooden plaque from this site and I think that, since they are relatively cheap at $17.47, everyone on this board should buy one: http://www.rusticdecorating.com/-268.html. It reads very simply "This too shall pass" and you can choose from a variety of colors and styles.

I hung it over the doorway in my bedroom so it's one of the first things I see when I wake up in the morning and I can gaze at it throughout the day. You would be AMAZED the relief and piece of mind such a simple item can bring you when you feel like ripping your hair out or crying.

Take care and I'll be checking in.
Lila,

That's very inspiring.

 
Old 10-03-2004, 11:30 AM   #4
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Memphis
Posts: 38
lilaculpepper HB User
Re: This Too Shall Pass

Halfway into day 3 here and I'm still feeling relatively uncomfortable. My heart is beating twice as fast as it usually does and I have no IDEA why that is.

I'm real nervous and apprehensive for no apparent reason and it seems to me like I'll never kick this habit.

Last winter I was hooked on Ambien then discovered Lortabs helped me sleep much better and without the loopiness I was experiencing with a benzo. For about 4 years now I've been taking something and I can't imagine life pill-free.

I have enough Sonata to last me through Wednesday but after that I'm stuck with nothing and I'm not mentally prepared for that.

I guess I don't have much to say. My fiance is at work and I'm just looking to see if there's anyone out there this lonely Sunday afternoon.

 
Old 10-03-2004, 03:01 PM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Memphis
Posts: 38
lilaculpepper HB User
Re: This Too Shall Pass

Man, I know it sounds crazy but days like today I wish I had work to go to. I long to lose myself in menial things like numbers, paperwork and phone calls when all I can do is obsess about my W/D's and fight off the dreaded panic attacks.

My mom takes propanal (sp?) for blood pressure and they also help calm nerves so I borrowed one from her and it at least seems to be taking the edge off and BELIEVE ME - at this point I'll take all the help I can get.

Anyone have problems going to work and getting through W/D's when one only took a marginal amount of their opiates?
I, of course, took more than I should but not as many as some I've read about on the board. I just wanna know if I'll have a problem getting out of bed and bringing home some bacon tomorrow.

 
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