It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-11-2004, 07:41 PM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 7
bootube HB User
Vicodin Addicition

Hello everyone. Im 18 yrs old and im 4 days clean off vicodin. I went through this before a little less than a year ago. At that time i was using vicodin for over a year everyday taking around 10+ 10mg vics a day. A $50 a day habit which was hard to mantain but somehow i managed. Eventually I decided it was time to come clean with my parents and try to get help. I was sent to an inpatient rehab center for 28 days and went through hell for the first couple of weeks, but came out feeling really good by the 28th day. My parents were extremely supportive and learned as much as they could about addiction by going to meetings and talking to people. By the time i got home I was feeling very confident with myself for have accomplishing something I never ever thought was a possibility. I attended na meetings every day for about 60 days and then slowed down until i eventually stopped going because I felt it was no longer helping me and against everything I learned in rahab I thought I was cured. Well several months later and after gaining all of my parents trust back and buying a new car I was feeling very very good. I got cravings now and then but I was pretty dead focused on staying clean. Its hard to rmemeber what happened but i relapsed oneday with marijuana and then several weeks later with vicodin. When the vicodin wore off I felt completely fine and I had a false sence of security, feeling as though I am not addicted anymore and I can take my favorite drug every now and then. As everybody guessed, the occasional use worked well for several weeks as planned but before i even had time to realize what i was doing I couldnt go a day without then once again. Just something I noticed happening was the more I started taking the vicodin the more and more pleasuarable it became to me. Well anyway its been about 5 or 6 months of daily use of about 3 to 7 10mg vic's a day, not nearly as many a day or as long as i used last time or compared to other people but I still NEEDED them everyday. This time I started selling marijuana to support my habit because I didnt want to steal money or hurt my family like I did last time. I came clean with my parents again and I just want to end this for good, Im only 18 yrs old I dont want to have to deal with this **** the rest of my life, being clean and relapsing and doing it over and over. I dont want to loose my parents trust for good and have them think nomatter how good I may do Ill always go back. My parents are very good to me and after the initial lashing out at me and venting they always want to try and do everything in their power to help. This time i am doing it at home and although the phsyical discomfort isnt nearly as bad as it was last time it still is there, and the mental discomfort is as worse as last time. I hate the way everything looks, I hate the way everything feels. I just cant live in the moment its very frustrating. I wanted to try and get out a littlebit today and Its hard to look people in the eye, I get panic attacks in stores, Im scared death to answer the phone, im very depressed, etc. These are all things totally opposite of my vic'ed up self who is calm, collected, and emotionally stable. When im on vics anxiety and depression seems like something I could never experience, and getting through every day is extremely enjoyable and pleasurable nomatter howmuch work I may have or what it is I may be doing, I am never self consious on vics and I just feel myself. Although im only 3 days clean I must say I am doing very very well, and things seem like they are already starting to get a little better. Definatly not the same as getting out of a hot shower after popping a couple of blueguys but I feel like its a little bearable. Those scorching hot vic showers are something I really really miss. I always took my vics right before a hot shower when i could. Right now, during the day seems to be the easiest, the nights and the mornings seem to be the hardest. Im having drug dreams constantly. Im trying to rmemeber those good days I had when I was clean the last time and just try to tell myself Ill feel like that eventually again. I take plenty of vitamins every morning along with amino acids, 5-htp, valerian root, dlpa, and every morning I take 2 tablespoons of cough medicine and it all seems to be working well. During the day I watch as much tv as I can because that seems to be the only thing that can keep my focus for a long period of time. I am so young I dont want to be an addict. By my looks nobody could ever tell I was addicted to something, im a really nice clean good looking boy, extremely polite and sensitive. I dont want to see my family hurt over and over and I dont want to keep hurting myself. I dont know what it is about opiates but there presence takes up a big space in my head. Right now Im trying to just read some other experiences and although it seems like I will never feel right again I have to just rmemeber last time. Anyway I dont know why I wrote somuch but it kind of made me feel a little better.
-Steve

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-12-2004, 03:00 AM   #2
Inactive
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 10
hardknocks HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

I don't mean to come off as derogatory but I have to say that you come off a bit like someone who is trying to kick let's say chocolate and that it is just sort of a "fun project." The so-called confidence that you get from vicodin is not confidence at all but just a false sense of security. Stay on vicodin long enough and your "confidence" will turn into a living hell. You are only 18 and drug use can wreck your life for years, if you have "years."

If you are not into meetings then try and find something in your life that is meaningful and pursue it, whether it is church or something that is productive. Having somebody to hold you accountable is important to have every day.

Don't fool yourself, the positive way that you speak of vicodin is false, just ask anyone on here who has been through the ringer. I was fast on my way to loosing my marriage, I lost a good job and friends. I now have a fatty liver and although my health is good it is not as good as it was before I started abusing vicodin.

I am sorry but your post came off as a bit non-chalant. If you truly want to stop using vikes then you need to take your addiction very seriously and that addiction can ruin your life to such an extent that you will no longer look like a nice guy who is clean cut and polite but will turn into a sick person who is desperate and out of control. That is where addiction will take you, right to the gutter.

I am not trying to be morbid but please take this very seriously as a horrible and brutal addiction and not as something that is something a little more then a hobby.

Ralph

Last edited by hardknocks; 10-12-2004 at 03:03 AM.

 
Old 10-12-2004, 05:03 AM   #3
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 1,048
Twinlynn HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

I don't think that Steve means to come off as nonchalant...I just think that we have to get to that 'dark' place within ourselves, before we are hit by the actual reality of how much we have changed--and not for the better. At the start of drug abuse, one's life DOES appear to feel better in so many ways. But...time changes that.

Steve has already had some tough glimpses into the future (the cruel periods of withdrawal). But I know that, in my case, it took many years of low-level use, to reach the awareness of how trapped (and miserable) I'd become. So, I would say that Steve is really just learning about the reality of drug taking. And with his family support...and his own growing understanding.....he has a good chance of overcoming his use. I think that posters should be encouraged to "think aloud" and express their mixed emotions about the effect of these pills in their life. The reality of the situation soon comes clear....but we are better off facing our questions and our doubts, as we begin the process of starting over.

Having said that--everything you have said, Ralph, is true! And too many of us learn that the hard way. Hope things are going better for you.

And, good luck to you, Steve.

Lynn

 
Old 10-12-2004, 11:02 AM   #4
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 7
bootube HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Thanks for the posts. I completely understand the seriousness of drugs and what they can do to me. My clean self and my using self are 2 different people. When I am using I have stolen money, jewelry, cash registers, all of which are things that are not part of my character. As I am doing these things while I am using I understand what I am doing in the back of my head but no true acknowledgement is really there. At least not until Im clean and can talk about it and come to terms with the things I have done and the ways I used to act. Im an analyzer and although i let myself be trapped by the cycle of addiction once again I notice exactly every little thing that they did to change me as well as it was happening, but did little to nothing to stop it. I may talk non chalant but that must just be the only way I know howto express myself on something like this. I DO know the seriousness and what eventually happens, although i didnt hit a bottom this time I hit a bottom last time and I also saw people in rehab that I never want to become. I dont want to be 40yrs old in a rehab center. I also never said meetings werent my thing, I enjoy going to meetings and they help me alot but i just need to stick to them and not give up once I have adequate clean time. I apologize for my glorification of the drug but I am only 5 days clean now and it is still fresh on my mind and I really just needed to talk what was on my mind. I know that after counseling and meetings my perspectives with eventually change all over again as they did before. I was doing so well my first time many people suggested I do drug counseling. Well anyway thanks for the posts.
-Steve

 
Old 10-12-2004, 11:09 AM   #5
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 77
octomon HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Hey Steve,
You sound like you have a good attitude, especially for being in day 3! Take this 'easier' detox as a huge blessing, and you know this now, but you can NOT ever toy with the vikes in the future - ever. For most of us it takes a 'slip' like you've had to realize this.

A lot of what you said parallels my story. And one fact that helps me stay clean is this - As much as I have this 'love-affair' with the drug in the good times, it will ALWAYS be followed with a crash. You KNOW your tolerance will go up, and you KNOW you will have to stop at some point. The only sustainable existence for you is being drug-free, so keep going to those meetings! If you're feeling great & confident, then go to a meeting to inspire somebody else. Ok good luck to you. You're on the right track, so keep looking forward.
-octomon

 
Old 10-12-2004, 10:51 PM   #6
Inactive
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 10
hardknocks HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Quote:
Originally Posted by bootube
Thanks for the posts. I completely understand the seriousness of drugs and what they can do to me. My clean self and my using self are 2 different people. When I am using I have stolen money, jewelry, cash registers, all of which are things that are not part of my character. As I am doing these things while I am using I understand what I am doing in the back of my head but no true acknowledgement is really there. At least not until Im clean and can talk about it and come to terms with the things I have done and the ways I used to act. Im an analyzer and although i let myself be trapped by the cycle of addiction once again I notice exactly every little thing that they did to change me as well as it was happening, but did little to nothing to stop it. I may talk non chalant but that must just be the only way I know howto express myself on something like this. I DO know the seriousness and what eventually happens, although i didnt hit a bottom this time I hit a bottom last time and I also saw people in rehab that I never want to become. I dont want to be 40yrs old in a rehab center. I also never said meetings werent my thing, I enjoy going to meetings and they help me alot but i just need to stick to them and not give up once I have adequate clean time. I apologize for my glorification of the drug but I am only 5 days clean now and it is still fresh on my mind and I really just needed to talk what was on my mind. I know that after counseling and meetings my perspectives with eventually change all over again as they did before. I was doing so well my first time many people suggested I do drug counseling. Well anyway thanks for the posts.
-Steve
It sounds like your on the right track. As far as being "40 and being in rehab" if one keeps using drugs that maybe something that one would not have to worry about. Thank God for those who are 40 and in rehab and those who are 50 and 60, it is never to late to change

There by the grace of God go us.

Ralph

 
Old 10-16-2004, 09:17 PM   #7
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 3
caitlinjoy HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

I am new to this board. For the past five years or so I have been taking vicodin more or less daily. I have never taken more than two at one time nor more than five in one day. I believe the time has come for me to get off this stuff, though. I am just tired of the whole deal. Is it possible to get off this stuff without going into a treatment center? What should I expect at this level of addiction?

 
Old 10-17-2004, 07:25 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 123
opiateskill000 HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

yo kid...
i think you should listen to these people man, "you can NOT ever toy with the vikes in the future - ever." that is sound advice. you claim to take this seriously, but sometimes i think you make light of it for whatever your reasons may be. to keep this simple: Vikes=Addiction=Hell. Sobriety=Change=Hope. when you start rationalizing use, try to acknowledge it for what it is, a defense mechanism that changes your perception of something very very harmful. don't listen to the part of you that makes vikes seem okay, because that's only the addiction trying to re-establish itself. stay gangsta, stay straight, BiA BiAAAA
(it's me by the way, steve)

 
Old 10-17-2004, 07:34 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 123
opiateskill000 HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Quote:
Originally Posted by caitlinjoy
I am new to this board. For the past five years or so I have been taking vicodin more or less daily. I have never taken more than two at one time nor more than five in one day. I believe the time has come for me to get off this stuff, though. I am just tired of the whole deal. Is it possible to get off this stuff without going into a treatment center? What should I expect at this level of addiction?
Caitlinjoy, to answer your question, YES, it is possible to get off of it without a treatment center. I personally did it without any type of rehab or detox center (I was using 60-100mg daily for about one year.) However, prepare yourself for a bumpy ride and take the following precautions: if possible, let a trusted friend or relative know what you're going through and what you want to accomplish. Let him/her know that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to have ANY OPIATES!!! This is important, because once you're in withdrawal, it's likely that you'll try to get some vikes one way or another. have him/her stay at your place while you are in Withdrawal, and if possible, give him/her your cell phone, money, and anything else that's involved in acquiring your vikes. if this isn't possible due to work or other obligations, find a time when you can take a few days off. to help ease the pain, try taking Advil every day. Also, take a multi-vitamin and some form of protein everyday to help build yourself back up. after such long use, your brain stops producing endorphins, and you need protein to help rebuild. take plenty of hot showers also, this will help with your body aches. Considerin the duration of your use, your WD can last for longer than you might expect. Give yourself at least a week or so for the major physical discomfort (I'd predict even longer, possibly a month, but the worst will be over by then.) Also, mentally you will probably feel unstable or on-edge or even depressed for some time after the physical discomfort subsides...

At your level of abuse, any of the following can apply in varying degrees of intensity: muscle aches, insomnia, diahrea, depression, anxiety, lack of appetite, inability to stay still, cravings for the drug, feeling unusually hot, getting the chills, sweating, and maybe others. keep these in mind, because it's less scary to experience these things when you know that they could happen. most importantly, realize that time will heal all of this discomfort, and each day your sober is a step toward feeling better.

also, considering how long you used painkillers, it's a GOOD IDEA to try going to some NA meetings, or getting drug counseling, because it's easier to get off vics than to stay off them...

good luck, and just remember that it all passes in time...

Last edited by opiateskill000; 10-17-2004 at 07:42 PM.

 
Old 10-17-2004, 09:06 PM   #10
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 3
caitlinjoy HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Is it best to go cold turkey or to taper? If a person tapers off, what is the way to do it? Also, does it matter if you're taking one-half a pill or 10 pills? Is withdrawl the same? Please write back.

 
Old 10-18-2004, 12:54 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 123
opiateskill000 HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Caitlinjoy, this depends on what you consider "best." For some, coldturkey is the only way to go, because if you have drugs lying around as you try to ween off, you'll be very very tempted to just take enough to get high. However, if you have someone who could administer the appropriate doses (and who isn't easily manipulated!) then you might prefer tapering. To answer your question, YES it matters whether you take 1/2 a pill or 10...withdrawal is determined (partly) by the duration of use and the doses...here's what I know about tapering vs. cold turkey...

Pros of Tapering:
Withdrawal is much less severe
Less of a shock to your system
Easier on your mind (anxiety, depression, etc. will be less intense)

Cons of Tapering:
It will tempt you to start using again if you have access to the drug
No "shock value," (less hell to remember if you're tempted to use again)

I think that any medical professional would tell you to taper, though, so if this is an option for you (meaning you have the vicodin, and either someone to administer it properly or an extremely uncommon willpower to do this for yourself) then tapering is probably your best bet...if you're going to taper, the trick is to stabilize at increasingly LOWER doses, for example, you might want to take 10mg less than your current dosage, stay there for a day or two, then decrease it by another 10mg and so on. If this is too hard for you, then decrease by 5mg instead...if 10mg is fine, then try 15mg (you get the idea.) I just re-read your post, and you say no more than 5 in a day, so you could definately go cold-turkey, but if you prefer to taper, you might want to consult a doctor to find out the best way to do it. Good luck, and remember that it's all going to be over soon enough, whichever way you go.

Last edited by opiateskill000; 10-18-2004 at 12:58 PM.

 
Old 10-19-2004, 06:19 PM   #12
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 3
caitlinjoy HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Thank you so much for your help. I am an elderly woman and have been hit hard over the past few years with several painful illnesses and surgeries. I have decided to taper, and am happy to report that I am now down to one pill per day. Starting tomorrow, I will be down to one-half. By the weekend, I should be off. I have to say, I am scared about having none, but I know with God's help, I can do it. Even more terrifying to me is having to endure relentless pain on a daily basis...but I know getting off this stuff is the right thing to do; already I am feeling so much sharper mentally. I am excited to finally be free of this. Whether or not I could refill my prescription has been an obsession for too long.

I will let you know how it goes.

Thank you.

 
Old 10-19-2004, 07:56 PM   #13
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 123
opiateskill000 HB User
Re: Vicodin Addicition

Caitlinjoy,
I'm glad to hear that you're doing well...but I did not know that you were taking this medication for pain! You should DEFINATELY speak with a physician to see what to do about dealing with the pain, especially if it's overwhelming or if it's going to be persistent. You need to tell your doctor that you were addicted to opiates, and that you don't want to use them anymore, but you shouldn't have to "endure relentless pain on a daily basis"!!! There might be another option for you, I don't really know, seeing as to how I took vicodin for less dignified reasons. I HIGHLY RECOMEND speaking with some type of professional about your pain-issues, but the person must be informed of your drug history so that this cycle doesn't repeat itself.

As far as not having any vicodin anymore, if you're talking about the pain-relief, then like I've said, seek other options...but if you're talking about psychological addiction, then a couple of options include Narcotics Anonymous meetings, or seeing an addiction specialist...

MOST IMPORTANTLY: TALK TO A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR SITUATION, BECAUSE THERE MAY BE OTHER PAIN-TREATMENT OPTIONS AVAILABLE!!!

Good luck, let me know how everything goes.

Last edited by opiateskill000; 10-19-2004 at 07:57 PM.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Vicodin Recovery - Starting Week 4 Wannabehappy Addiction & Recovery 10 12-11-2009 05:57 PM
My Vicodin Story OverUnderbobo Addiction & Recovery 10 10-27-2009 04:05 AM
Vicodin (Hydrocodone) questions...my first time taking this med sealover Pain Management 21 10-02-2009 06:00 AM
Vicodin...My doc is afraid to prescribe a dose that is effective for me. sealover Pain Management 19 09-27-2009 07:00 PM
VICODIN Detox ..MUST READ man2984 Addiction & Recovery 11 03-08-2007 10:20 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Hydrocodone
Lortab
Methadone
Oxycontin
Percocet
  Tylenol
Ultram Valium
Vicodin
Xanax




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Phoenix (150), katlin09 (109), reachout (98), Wendy88 (36), second go (36), oxygirl (34), corissa3 (32), Tysmom1 (24), icehouse3z (24), bolter (21)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (899), Titchou (835), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:54 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!