Well today is the day I stop taking oxycodone and/or vicodin. I have been taking about 50 to 60 mgs of either oxycodone 5mg tabs or vicodin es every day for about 3 weeks. Prior to that I have been on oxycontin 20 mgs and at my worst was up to a good 160mgs per day of that junk. I am off the oxycontin, which is a good thing. I decided to just jump off the opiate train at this point. I am out of meds and could have very easily called the doc who gave me the vicodin and he would have gladly called me in some more but i am not going to do that! I took 30 mgs of oxycodone yesterday and 10 mgs today. It has been 6 hours since I took my last 5mg pill. I am at work and not feeling too bad yet, but I still have the whole day to go. (I work till 10pm mst) I have clonidine 0.1mg tabs and a few ultram. I know ultram is just as bad but if I only use it for a few days will it help w/the withdrawals? I am scared of what's going to happen to me as the day progresses, but excited to finally get the opiate monkey OFF my back for good!!! Tired of the lies, living from script to script, the $$ for Dr. visits....it's not fun. I will deal w/my pain in other ways....I have gone to 4 chiro appts and he says he can help my bulging disks in my neck and thoracic spine as well as my thoracic outlet syndrome, so I am hopeful that will work. I will post more later and let you all know how I am feeling....I am going to use my thread as a withdrawal journal and once done print it so anytime I feel like caving I will read and relive whatever it is I'm about to go through.
I hope to get some support here....my hubby is not very supportive at all and doesn't understand.
About 1 1/2 hours later....still not feeling too bad yet. but i am sure it's on it's way. I also have a case of the "crud" so i have a reason to be "sick" at home....hubby would absolutely kill me if he know i was dope sick again....he's gone so far as to say if i did this again he'd kick me out....did i listen, of course not, but I am an addict and will take responsibility for my actions.
take care everyone...more later
It's just about 7PM here, and I first posted at around 1PM my time...11 hours with no oxycodone!! I'm not all that bad yet. I have taken 1 0.1mg clonodine at about 11am and 2 tramadol at 1pm and another 2 tramadol at 4PM. I have also taken some cold releif tablets for my existing sinus infection that have 30mgs of DXM in them so I think the additional meds are helping somewhat. I have 3 hours left of work and then home to a nice hot shower (no bathtubs!! ) and nice warm jammies. I hope this doesn't get too bad. I have made a commitment to myself and to God to really really quit this time!!
Thanks for reading my saga!! LOL!!
keep your eye on the prize, Shak....
Just stay busy and stay strong when the sickness starts to hit. It subsides if you keep busy and take immodium, you have meds to make you comfortable....you will be just fine. My hubby sounds a lot like yours. Worry about YOU right now, not that he might find out you are dope- sick......stick to your guns. I will check back on you tomorrow morning.
Keep your on eye on the ball Shak...keep your goal in focus....YOu already are halfway up the hill ( or close to halfway) Just do it....I'm beginning to get really achey and sore like the flu....Are you getting this? I am most afraid about the depression I hope it isn't to bad..... Anyway hang in there Shak, I am thinking about you and know that you are not alone there is someone out there going through the exact same thing...me we can do this....
Good morning Shak....how are ya doing today???? I hope you were able to get comfy and get some zzzzz's last night. I was just thinking about ya. Stay focused and don't obssess right now. Just worry about YOU....hope you are well and hanging in there.
I just got home from taking my daughter to school. I was able to sleep all last night with no problems and this morning I didn't feel too bad either! I think the clonidine/ultam combo is really helping me through this. I do feel shaky and anxious, but haven't had any chills or sweats. It's been a full 24 hours since my last oxycodone tablet. I will be able to make it to work today. Lisa, you are right....when I am up moving around it does help to not feel so jittery. I will talk to you all again later, probably when I get to work. I am going to do some laundry and my mountain of dishes in the meantime!
Thanks for reading!!
Well....30 hours in. I'm at work now and feeling a little lethargic. I am also wishing that I had a painkiller....I'm missing the energy, the confidence and the calmness they gave me. I guess that is what they call cravings huh? I know they only gave me false feelings and I have to get used to "true" feelings again and that will take some time. I just don't feel mentally good right now. Physically, just tired and a little anxious but nothing too horrible. I'm still able to work w/o any problems at all.
Will post more later....thanks.
Well, now 36 hours in. I don't feel all that terrible.....I keep anticipating this horrible horrible sickness that I've had so many times before, but it's just not coming!! Right now I feel.....well...normal! LOL! I have only had 1 0.1mg clonidine at 7AM along w/2 ultram and 2 cold tabs w/total of 30mgs of DXM....then another clonidine and one ultram at around 3PM...not sure though, it might have been later. But that is ALL the meds I have taken today. If it has been 36 hours and I'm not sick, is it still coming? My anxiety is stemming from the fact that I am thinking about getting sick all the time and I don't feel bad yet!!! What's going on?? Anyone????? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shak....just hang in there. And this is what i was talking about-- your mind waiting and creating sickness. Keep busy keep busy keep busy. I would say by the end of Sat. if there aren't too many more symptoms...that is the worst it will be. I just got off of pills while vacationing in Fla. and i had very minor symptoms. I fully functioned the WHOLE time. We even went to Disney on day2 of w/d. Alot of this is mind over matter, even if the sickness increases a bit, just keep telling yourself it isn't THAT bad and push yourself to do things. Don't harp on "when or how bad they will be" just be grateful that you are already this far into it and minimal symptoms. I heard and have tried a time or two myself that Ultram WILL starve off the w/d. Make sure you are only taking a couple of them a day and after day 4 or 5 start getting off of those, as well. What is the situation with the hubby???? You are doing really well....keep it up!!!!
Saturday morning.....49 hours since my last oxycodone! I made it to work at the crack of freakin dawn this AM (7 AM mountain time)!! I have taken 2 Ultram this morning at about 6AM....don't feel anything different then when I first woke up, it's just my mind telling me I need to take "something".....I will trick myself by taking vitamin C's! LOL! I am going to take a clonidine though....I am getting the chills a little bit, not too bad...just a feeling of anxiousness, but no energy at the same time. I have heard the symptoms peak around the 48 hour mark....so hopefully this is it and like you said, Lisa, tomorrow will be much much better. Only bad thing is, after work I have to go home and be w/hubby. He'll not stand for me just sitting around...I have to be up and doing stuff....lucky me... Well...I'll write more later....I hope you are all having a great day!
Shakarkia - I just have to say how impressed I am with you. I have been following this thread since you started and I think you're doing wonderfully. I hope that when the time comes for me (soon) I will have the positive attitude that you have. I understand the anxiety feelings, because I get those if I don't take a pill for a while. My therapist would suggest doing some journaling when that happens :-)
As far as your husband, can you pretend you have a stomachache or something so he won't pressure you to get up and moving when you get home? You don't want to make things harder on yourself.
Anyway, take care and keep hanging in there. You have the support of everybody here and plenty of hands to hold.
Thank you for the kind words....I needed that! I understand now why they say days 2 and 3 could be the worst. I am still able to work but I feel Y-U-C-K-Y!! I am tired, but that could be because I worked until 10PM last night and had to be here at 7AM today....who knows. My legs are cold, my back hurts and I am feeling destitute! If I could lay down and sleep right now, I would....I am also having the yawning sydrome! Hopefully today is the worst of it and when I wake up tomorrow I'll feel better....I sure hope so!! I took another two ultram about 1/2 hour ago and they did absolutely nothing for me....of course my little brain says take the other two...it'll work!! I am contemplating it.....I'll let ya know if I did....I don't even know if they are helping, but my brain knows they are an "opiate" of sorts so it wants them...funny thing is that I don't feel any different whether I take them or not...I just do because of the big "O" word....which needs to mean something other than "opiate" LOL!! It used to mean Orga....wait....I can't say that here!! Anyway...thanks for taking time to read my story.....even if you don't reply it's good to know people are reading and hopefully getting some help from my experience!! Take care all, and I'll write more later!!
OK well, I'm headed home from work. Hubby wants me to take my little one to the movies tonight so it looks like I can get out of housework to tonight! Yay!...doin' the snoopy dance!! I am having some tummy probs now...blech! Also I am looking pale and have some serious dark circles under my eyes, but other than that I feel OK. The waist of my jeans are wet w/sweat, but that could be because they are too tight?? Anyway, I will try to post tomorrow, but it will be hard to get alone time at the computer since hubby is home all day long. BUT if I'm not here tomorrow I will be back on Monday to let you know how I am doing. There seems to be a lot of people at least reading this saga...and it does help to write out my feelings. Thanks for reading and have a good rest of the weekend if I don't talk to ya again!!
Day 4 and I feel pretty crappy. Shaky, sweaty, tired...the whole thing. I went to a barbeque yesterday and just couldn't talk to anyone.....don't feel like talking much I guess. I haven't had any ultram since Saturday evening which is s good thing...means my body isn't used to those too! I made it to my chiro and massage appt this AM....hurt like he** and still does!! I took some ibuprofen and it did help but man....my back and neck are in some serious pain today! I kinda feel a little rejected here w/no replies, but I wanted to come back and post at lease once more to let ya know I made it through the weekend. My hubby's friend has been giving him vicodin Saturday night and Sunday....even asked if I wanted one to which I said no way!! Didn't want to screw anything up...anyhoo, have a good day everyone.