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Old 10-16-2004, 09:50 PM   #1
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goodsoul HB User
Unhappy Relationship advice needed

Hi all. I am an addict. I went to rehab a year ago. I have since,stopped drinking, smoking pot. My d/o/c is crystal meth. Been doing ok, however have had some relapses.I am getting a job offer on Tuedsay, have been recovering slowly but surely with the help of my physcologist.
The problem I have is that I have a really wonderful boyfriend who I love very much. He has been patience, however freaks out when I tell him about relapses, distances for days and won't talk to me, so I don;t tell him. I don;t blame him - harm to others. Now I wonder if I have done too much damage and that he is over me, yet is still putting in an act of love to help me through to the next stages of confidence. He is extremely smart, and lives a clean lifestyle. That is what I want to.I don't know if he is only here to support or whether he loves me genuinely. I love him enough to not want him to feel he couldn't leave even if he wanted to....god knows I wouldn't want to be with an addict or alcoholic unless they had good clean time under their belt, so I wouldn't blame him at all if he didn't...harm to others eh!! I am not sure how to figure out if his feelings are real, cause if there not I want to set him free......(by the way, I am focusing on my recovery, just want to believe relationships are possible to keep on the way)...thanks, really confused....

 
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Old 10-17-2004, 10:38 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 114
lifechange HB User
Re: Relationship advice needed

If his feelings were not real, he would have been gone by now. I am much like you, I have promised my amazing man I would be good, but last Monday I had a relapse, went on a binge even though he told me to stay home and not to get wasted. I felt he was rejecting me...he wanted to stay with his friends that he had been with all weekend...I went out and recall coming to his house because I thought he had a girl there and was cheating. He opened the door, no one was there. Then I left and went to an after hours where I proceeded to get wasted and leave awful messages on his machine...I blacked out, do not recall what I said...He has not called me since. He said I remind him of Sharon Stones character in Casino. Your man loves you...no one stays if they don't. I don't know what to do...a letter? I even left a '' beg'' message, but he has totally removed me and I am so sad. I have lost him the only man who ever cared. Girl...hang on to your guy, love him and tell him how much you appreciate him standing by you. Good luck

 
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