It's always good to see you on the board, but I'm very sorry for the circumstances that surrounded your posting. Can you imagine if you were dealt this heart situation while you were still using?! I think the fact that you ARE still young and in good shape and have been good to yourself and your body by going off the drugs and resuming your exercise (running isn't it?) is part of the reason you were out of the hospital in just a week...what do you think?
I can only begin to imagine the thoughts that were swirling around in your head while you were in the hospital and going thru this--as you said, talk about reassessing your life! Often when things like this happen, a "close-call" if you will, we do reassess our lifestyles and our ways of thinking. In your posts on here, (which is unfortunately all one has to go by in seeing what type of character a person has) you have always come across as an honest, give-it-to-me-straight, caring and empathetic type of man. I think your good Karma has come back to you
. For all the sincerity and care you send out to others, I truly believe that all of that good stuff does come back to a person, and you were just dealt a handful.
I am just so glad you were already thru the addiction part of your life when this happened so you didn't have that to deal with also. I'm not saying your addiction is over, as I do understand we are essentially addicts for life, so I'm only eluding to the fact that you're off drugs and don't have the physical withdrawals to contend with. I've always felt that you were one of the good guys, and although bad things do happen to good people, well...you said it best at the closing of your post. I am glad you're here on this earth, too. When I was using the vikes, I paid little or no attention to my health. Now that I am off the vikes and on the meth, I have had a mammogram, a physical, a thorough blood test, and soon is a visit to the dentist and the ophthalmologist as I need new glasses! I have a job with health insurance being offered now, and I am thankful for it every day. In the reassessment of life, nothing is taken for granted anymore...
I don't know if you knew about my one-month job assignment at a local mortuary, but boy oh boy, after seeing the things I saw in that 30 days, I too, reassessed many things, and even my children noticed that I wasn't getting upset or uptight over some of the things that, before this job, might have set me off. I no longer sweat the small stuff, that's for sure. The first and last words I want my children to hear from me every day is "I love you, and I am always here for you, and I will forever be on and by your side." I see folks yelling at their kids at the store or the mall or wherever, the kids are crying, the mom or dad is yelling, the threat of a spanking or a real hit might come, and I'm ready to jump out of my skin! After seeing a 9-yr. old boy be embalmed and prepared to be given back to his family and then to the earth, I want to scream at these people & tell them that there are so many larger, more important things going on that a yelling match and threats of physical abuse over a kid wanting something he can't have is hardly the worst thing that they have to deal with that day. I totally reassessed my priorities and life, and because I've seen a lot of death in my personal life as well as on that job, well...if the worst thing that happens to me in a day is that my boss got mad at me, or someone cut me off in traffic, or I was late to work, or I burnt dinner, or the car got a flat, or I got a run in my pantyhose, or my kids decided to give our cat a bath, or my daughter got grass stains on her new pants, or I still haven't cleaned the bathtub in 3 weeks, well...then I've had a very good and wonderful day indeed
As Twin Lynn said, I suspect after an incident like this, you will feel a bit out of sorts, or depressed even, and it does take a lot out of you. So please try not to expect too much from your heart and soul right now, and just take care of yourself, and soon I suspect you will be feeling like your "old" self..LOL! You've been through a major thing, and your body and mind need time to adjust. Thank you for sharing with us what happened...you are often thought of and referred to on this board! Keep in touch, okay?