Hello all, I am doing this for my first time. I am 24 yrs old and have a pretty decent career going for myself. Well to get to the nitty gritty, I have to really come to my sences and talk to somebody about my issue. At first I took Vicodin when i got my Wisdom teeth taken out. They were great, I remember the throbing in my mouth and just wishing that i had something to take the pain away. My dad was taking forever to get the script but when i finally got it i immediatly took to 7.5s. I started to feel real nice, so then i was like well..... hmmm maybe i will feel like god if i take two more since i did have a whole bottle of like 30 of them. This was alot to me at this time. Once the script ran out,i was fine, did not care, never tried to find them at all. Of course I would take them every once in a while but it was not a problem. I then about 2 or 3 yrs later was taking thme more often. My mother had cancer and was perscribed 90 at a time and she never really took them. So guess who filled that gap? Yep you guessed right. I was not yet taking them on a regular basis. What i mean about this is only when i would go out to a bar adn get ****** drinking, which was probly 4-5 times per wk. I then still was not really addicted, never had the urge to take them during the day, only when i would go out becasue i loved the buzz i would get and how social it would make me. Then it got crazy. I started to date this one chick, the first real " seeing of a person" since i broke it off with a 4 year relationship. I was taking pills when we woudl go out all the time. It helped me get close to her and we fell in love. Everything was great. Well one dayi was drinking over the summer in the sun and was really drunk by night. I went to see my girl, who is my x girl now where she worked at this bar. She was hangin out throwin a few back after her shift and she hooked me up with shots and beers. All i know is that shots were definetally involved. I was then absolutly recked. I had left with her and left my car at the bar. We went to another bar and i started to drink water. Jill and i eventually got into an arguement, this seemed to be a ritual with the two of us, aka she was the biggest flirt and thus it drove me ****in nuts. Anyway i started walkin home when she decided to pick me up and give me a lift. As soon as i got home i decided to grab my mothers Lexus and start for the what seemed as if it was a cross country venture, even when sober she did live a half hour from me. I got to her place and again we argued. I am sure i was so drunk that the arguement was going nowhere. At the time when i had finally got the last word, I had decided to leave. This is where all hell broke loose. Upone my drive home which i dunnot remember i met my fait with a nice big fat tree. I fell asleep and went off the road and slammed into a ditch adn flew up into a fat tree and landed upside down in the car. Luck for me i had my seatbelt on or else i would have been a pizza pie smashed all over that tree. I was trapped in the car and when they got me out it was decided to have me mercy flighted to the hospital in Buffalo since i had a lacerated spleed and liver. I was a mess, not to mention i had 3 broken ribs and broken ankle and my tounge was severd along with shattering 7 teeth. Well to make a long story short........hahahahah....I was kept in the hospital for a wk while on morphine the whole time. They gave me a dispencer where i could hit a button every 5 min for more stuff. Upon release. I was given lortabs, which did not seem to work very well. I was then upgraded to 5 refills of 90 percocet 7.5. I loved my percs. These were the best ever. After the pain started to subside i still loved them, to the point where i would take them all the time even during the day. 5 wks after the acciednt i was student teaching and the pills helped me through with the scary thoughts of being a teacher and also through a relationship that was so love hate it was sickening. All was good though. I was in love, still love the girl but i swear all natural spirits are against the two of us being togther. I checked out some oxy contin every once in a while but it seemed like too much for me. Was not much a fan. Then as time went on and about 3 mnths after and all my scrips out i started to buy the pills all over for insane amounts of money. I have survived over this summer by going from anywhere from 6 pills a day to 20 pills a day to even going as far as eating as much as 5 oxycontin 80mgs a day the green ones, where i would pull them up my nose. About $5,000 or maybe lots more i dont even know i am blowing these things all the time still. Aboult 4 80's a day. I have been to 3 different counslers and none but the last one was of any help what so ever. He perscribe this stuff called suboxone for me. Now the stuff is great once you get past the nasty gin taste that is in the pill,which nearly makes my stomach turn every time i took it. It works though. I dont feel the ****in WDs at all, but i constantly feel like i need to take more. I have the 8mg tabs but will take like 2 or 3 of the through out the day untill i am physically satisfied. I had stayed on it for a wk and then dont know what the hell happend. I stopped it for a day so the antagonist **** in it would wear away and startd to **** up again. I am now teaching and takin this **** all day. It does not even **** me up anyumore just makes me dopy as hell. Adverse effect that it was that i loved about it. Any way i have exhausted all my resources. Spent all the money i have made and saved up. My dad used to hook me up and i took such advantage taht he basically told me to go **** myself which i totally respect becasue i was taking him to the cleaners. Anyways i have decided that i am gonna start back on the Suboxone tmrw and continue. I have a big problem. My doc is gonna be drug testing and so i had an appointment but i cancelled since he said he would take me out the program if i was still using. Thing is you cant take both, its either one or the other, since the antagonist **** will make you feel like **** and you wont get chill at all. Any advice for me that i can just use and get off these *********** things? Even if not i just would like to talk to some people who are in the same boat. I will write back tmrw when i chck the responces if there are ne. Peace out peps and good luck on the road to recovery.
Hi There, I am an addict, 9 months on suboxone. I am sorry you are having a rough time, but through reading your post I heard you say a lot about what the use has done to your life, but I did not get that you wanted it in your heart . That you were tired of the restraints and guilt that the addiction has given you. You really have to want it with all you are, it is powerfull and will over come you if you are not "truly" ready to put them down.
Do a little soul searching, arm yourself with knowledge, and start again when you are really, really ready.
Thank-you for your support. Today i am hangin out on the couch, I just took some suboxone and am hoping that i can deal with all the things i life that make me wanna just get high. Dont get me wrong, I love to use these drugs and wish i could for ever. Truth is i was never on them in the beginning, so why should i feel the need to be onthem now. Well I guess other than the fact that i am addicted is the only reason. I have really tried everything, the suboxone works the best so far. My only problem is not having that energy boost that i used to have, that little zipitydooo. I am gonna work with the stuff and try to keep a good boy. Funny part is , if you use the subox, u might as well not even try to use any other substances because you are not gonna get high, the suboxone does not let u get high, u can sure take opiates but u are just gonna be wasting your time and money so dont even try it. It is hard becasue me and my ex girl both are having a hard tim w/ out eachother and using wouild make it so much eaisier but you know what??? I have not a penny to spend on it so hahahaaha, jokes on me i am just gonna have to get off the ****!!!!!
I'm by NO MEANS one to give you any advice what so ever, so I won't even attempt to do that. I'm still taking 10-15 Norcos (hydrocodone 10/325) a day, but I'm struggling with major pain issues, plus the guilt and shame of liking these pills WAY too much. Anyway, enough about me....I'm basically just writing to tell you that you have my support, and I want to see you get better. As one of the previous posters said though, YOU have to WANT to get better....and that is one thing that I can say with experience. I'm really glad that you are here though, and that you are posting and sharing your experiences with us. You might not realize this..but by sharing your struggles, your recovery efforts, etc...you are not only helping yourself, but so many others. So please keep posting, and please keep us all updated on how you are doing. You will remain in my thoughts & prayers..and I truly wish you only the very best. I would love nothing more than to see you kick this horrible, awful habit. Good luck and stay in touch!