I Went to my First NA Meeting
I just wanted to share what happened at my first meeting at Narcotics Anonymous and thank everybody who encouraged me to attend. I was having a really tough time yesterday and was close to a breakdown between withdrawals and depression, but even so it was important to me to get there in whatever condition I was in. By the time it started, I was too exhausted and drained to be nervous.
I thought I was going to be in a big room and would be able to just slide in the back row without anyone seeing me, but when I got there it was about 10 people all sitting in chairs in a circle. I thought the meeting was at 8:00, but really it was at 7:30, so I interrupted a man talking about his addiction to the crack pipe. I sat down and listened and thought, "Oh no, these are hardcore drug users. They're not going to be anything like me." But I looked around the room and all of the people looked like regular people, about 8 men and 2 women.
Then one of the ladies spoke and was telling about her addiction to OxyContin, and the things she said rang true for me. I realized that these people and their struggles were a lot like me. And all of them were "clean" and committed to the program. I had to be the only one there with drugs in my system (even though a minute amount). They all seemed comfortable with each other and were very welcoming and warm.
I didn't speak--I just listened. But after it was over I talked to the person who sort of ran the group. He told me to keep coming and that it would change my life. One of the ladies said the same thing. They didn't even sound like a cult or anything. They gave me a pamphlet and a web site for all of the meetings and activities, and they really do a lot. So I think that I am going to go back for now at least once a week on Thursdays and give this a chance.
I wish I could say my craving for pills had vanished, but it is still pretty strong. But I will do whatever I can to fight it including these meetings. I have too many positive things in my life to lose them including my family and friends and life itself. Thanks for listening and as always for supporting me.