Well I am addicted to pain pills, and want to over come my addiction. I was finally able to admit it to myself when my wife caught me sniffing a pill. I have been working on it since and was doing ok the last few days and the support on this board has been a big help, but I blew it today. Things could be so much worse I am just weak, but one of my best friends and I had lunch today. We play/played college lacrosse together, and he got kicked out of school our sophmore year, and he has not been able to play lacrosse for two years. Well he is back in now and he is going to play this year agian finally, and I can't play because of my stupid shoulder that I had to have surgery on. We always looked foward to when he would be able to get back into school so we could play together agian, and it looked like it would not happen, but of course now he can play and I can't and then we were just talking about the team and all the good things going on with the program this year and about our chance at a national championship and I just started feeling so miserable, because I am going to miss out on all of it. So I came home and I wanted so bad not to over do it on the pain killers. I watched are high light tape from last year thinking that might make me feel better and remember the good times I did have, but it made me feel worse to remember the good times and see how well I was playing and the team and I took a bunch of pills and now I just feel like an idiot. I know it is a process, and that things like this will happen, but it just makes me feel week. Does anyone have good suggestions on things that help them to stay away from pill etc even when they feel like crap and really want to take them. How do you deal on days like these.
xalsc, not to sound too harsh but that is a pretty lame excuse to take some pills. Think about it. Most people have to hit rock bottom to make them realize how bad it is and by then it is very, very, hard to quit without some kind of help. Read all the posts on this website. If you are not in chronic pain absolutely nothing good will result in getting addicted to opiates. You sound like you are not at rock bottom yet so listen to the people who have been there and quit now. Good luck and take care
I don't know...I've used everything from having to go to the grocery store to having car trouble to doing fun things like going to a movie or out to lunch with a friend as an excuse to take my pills. That's the way addicts' minds work...we look for ways to rationalize our pill taking. Sure the expressions of "I'm so tired," "I have so much to do," "I had such a bad day," etc., are real feelings, but the difference between addicts and the other people in this world who aren't drug addicts is that we use those feelings as an excuse to use...we use anything--good or bad--as an excuse to use!
I think for someone who is trying to come to terms with addiction was being honest by posting what for him is a "trigger" and then asking the board for advice on "how do you deal on days like these?" My triggers are different than his...but I don't think any of them are lame...they are simply triggers, things that happen that most people can work through without ever reaching for a pill or a drink or a needle, and then there are the rest of us...
Keep reading the boards, go to a meeting, and you will find more advice and you will find what works for you. You've already done the hardest part, and that was in admitting you've got a problem and now you want help with it. Your still in that addict thinking...had a bad day, take a pill. You did the right thing by posting it, and asking for advice. Along with meetings, MMT, and going to a counselor, the support I get from this board has been invaluable to my recovery program. I can honestly say if it weren't for this board, I wouldn't have addressed my addiction when I did. So stick around, there's a lot of good advice and ideas on here, and I think you will find some of the help you are looking for.
Hello X! I've been wondering how you are doing. Hang in there bud! I just read Dallas re: "trigger points" in her reply to your "bad day, screwed it up" post. X-Man, Dallas is right on point in my opinion. To me, the "trigger" is never lame, yet there is never a "legitimate" reason to abuse any drug! At this very early point, you are seeking advice & support. You have admitted you are addicted, & that you are incapable of dealing with your addiction on your own. NA meetings were planned, and you are posting. What a GREAT start! X, please remember that in 1 short week (feels longer, I know!) you HAVE taken positive steps! Perhaps more meetings, quiet contemplation, & additional research will shed light on addiction in general, and YOU in particular. Before I started my recovery plan, I remember "lurking" & thinking "that person is SO much stronger than me. There is simply no way I can do THAT!" I was correct in 1 respect. I can only do what I can do, & somebody else's "recovery plan" may not be appropriate for me. To me, the more narrow the focus, the sooner your "way" will come into view. So, take stock, & continue taking every positive step that comes to mind. Your instincts are leading you AWAY from insanity & how lucky you are! You slipped, stumbled, & came RIGHT BACK! Pat yourself on the back, some people never get back up! Maybe you can get that Vicodin dose down, (don't ignore pain) & talk to someboby at NA re: your desire to get well! Keep posting & use some of your lacrosse skills X-Man! You know, strength, (it's hard) endurance, (a long journey) agility, (dodge "triggers" & maintain momentum) - and keep the goal in front of you. Best wishes, Den