Ok, I told my family about me taking oxycontin... they werent happy. after taking a lot of **** from my mother, she was there for me, by my side. i made it for about a week... tampering off of things (vicodin) then sooner then later, i was taking them again for about 2 weeks...
i decided to stop again, when my mother saw me in bed, she flipped. she knew, cause i told her just about everything... i was really open with her and needed her. shes not going to be there for me next time, she told me, i understood. i was clean about a week... theres girls in my life and friends in my life, that dont exactly have the problem that i do, that wanna do it...etc.
so here i am, ive done 40mg Oxy's for about 4-5 days again! I cant, cant, let anyone know this time...this time im alone. I only have a few vicodin, which isnt going to last me... It's Saturday and i have Sunday -- Monday i start classes, which i've missed a bunch of already... they dont know whats going on, i havent told them. I might need an outpatient place, i have a bunch of places in mind... (also, i was taking about 2-4 40mg a day)
i didnt take anything yesterday, except some vicodin and a 1/4 of methadone... slept fine. today, nose is runnning and i feel a little weak, very cold. taking a few more vicodin -- i hate this... i do it to myself!
It is so much better when you just tell people you have a problem and you are trying to get better but no promises. that way when you screw up you don't have to hide it either. i didthat for so long. it was like the girl that cried wolf. i found it better to not say anything. eventually i went off on my own and got better and when i had some significant clean time and new i was solid in what i was doing i then told them i was better. you are better off not to lie. i know you don't want them to know but that lie will hold you back. i got to the point where i actually just stopped lying and told them i was screwed up and did not know when i would be better. but that for that moment i was not ready to do it.
My son is an opiate addict like you. He is 23 yrs. old. He is 4 1/2 weeks clean from snorting 4 80's a day and also snorting lots of heroin too. He did the cold turkey at home with me. He knows if he uses he is out the door. I drug test him every other day. He sees a counselor every week. You need help. In patient detox if you can't do it at home. You need to stay away from the friends that still use. My son has not seen one of his friends since he got clean. He can't> They all use. To be around others who use is too tempting. Out patient might work but if you live at home your mother will know. It's not something you can hide. Maybe if you tell her you will go in patient, you will stay away from friends who use, and she can drug test you, she might help you get into a detox center. Your mom needs to know that you are serious. I wish you the best and hope you find some help. My son doesn't want to end up in the street so the drug testing helps keep him clean. Ask your mom to get on this board. I know it helped me understand what my son was going through and what I could do to help him.
Keep a log of all of this in the next week or so. Next time you want to swallow or snort a pill, read this first. Our brains have a way of making us forget this HELL we go thru. Take it one day at a time. STAY AWAY from people that use. They may not be like you yet......key-word is YET. It gets everyone eventually. Some it takes longer than others.
If you have been thru this before, you know what to expect. Ride this out and check out the out-patient when the w/d are done. Attend an NA or AA meeting too. You can just sit in the back and take what you need from the meeting and leave the rest. It WILL help you, i promise that.
Post, post, post here. This place is so helpful and if you posted daily, you would have something to go back and read when that addiction tried to surface once again. What about going to see a doctor, a family doctor or even looking into an addictionologist???? You can't go at this alone. I have learned that the hard way....
Hang in there, gangster.
It will get better, you just gotta make your mind up that you want OFF and off for good.
I would suggest a doctor visit, with someone who knows opiates. If you are serious you could do an outpatient program, perhaps using suboxone. That would eliminate all you w/d - so you could get back to school. Also if you tried to stack the suboxone w/ street oxies you go into immediate w/d because of an added ingrediant. Anyways, don't know where you live and sub doctors are rare, if you do a ****** search you can see if one is in your area. Even if you don't go on some other med, at least you know these docs have a clue about opiate addiction.
Good looks to all of you who replyed. i just ditched this site for a few days, and yeah, i been doin Oxys and stuff... here i am today, i have no oxy's and i wanna kick it, old school...
its gonna be hard, im sweating and cold and i gotta run out in about 10 minutes. my friend gave me "Nuerontin" sp? and i took 3 pills, he promised it'd make me feel better till tonight...so far no changes. I also have a couple of Vicodin's. im serous and stopping this time... i have to. my family thinks im DONE! and that i havent been taking them... i cant, cant, let them know. this time im alone....
someone give me some kind of, i dont even know... i'm gonna read this better when i get back in about 3 hours. Thanks for kind words
Wow! I hear you Gangstar. I can't tell you how many times I put myself through the hell of withdrawls, I'd tell myself I'm quitting when I run out, and I'd last maybe one day before I was trying to get more. Only to plow through those in no time flat and start withdrawing again. I don't know what to tell you that will make you quit. All I can say is that I know how you feel and it sucks. If you wanna do this old school, then be prepared, get yourself some immodium, sudefed, a box of kleenex, some ibprofen, and a gallon to two of gatorade. And be ready to do battle. I send you power, and my best wishes. Stay in touch during your withdrawls.
Ok, right now im feeling better, Im not hurting yet. i feel the withdrawl is there...and ok for now, but itll come back hard later! DCV i know where you're coming from, you know where im coming from, ia few others also kno... its hard.
its not even that i want to take oxy's, if i had 1 right now, yeah, id take it...but not to "get crunked", its like i need them to live... so if i can substitute it with something else - something safe/under control and not as addicting, then im pretty sure id be FINE! i have to stop, and i dont wanna say "one more pill, one more time, last line" cuz thats all BS...i gotta stop now!
i have a list of places with outpatient programs, im not sure they specialize in opiates or oxys, etc. but they have to know something more then i do... i think they close and arent open on weekends or late night, im not sure. 2 of them are at hospitals, 1 ive called twice and they never answered the phone. how would they help me?? i'm sure i can stop if i always had something, didnt take other stuff, and stayed pain/withdrawl free. withdrawls are a *****!
what helps? everyone has different methods of helping themself through it. a friend said xanax, helps make you sleep... what about muscle relaxers like flexrill? or a methadone biscuit? ive tried it once, it was great, 1/2 at a time and keeps you pretty decent for most part of the whole day, into the next... how long will it last? lately, ive been stressing.....so i was taking more then i normally was doing. thats why the withdrawl is going to be worst, ive been thru 3 - times ive quit...this is the last.
Good luck to everyone, thx for the comments, keep posting an givin me info, or your honest opinion.
The list in my other post is what I would use when on prolonged withdrawls. You can get some clonidine from a doc to help ease your withdrawl symptons. As far as getting help, if it gets too rough you can go an ER and just spend the night there and detox with them. As far as getting help, don't you have a family doctor? If you do, you have to get with him he/she can give you a referral. You can go through the yellow pages find someone under addiction treatment. Some web pages will do a search for suboxone doctors in your area for you. Just do an internet search for suboxone doctor you should stumble onto something. But when your going through withdrawls, I try to sleep all I can. I'd take sudefed for my running nose, immodium for the runs, ibprofin for the body aches, and I'd try to stay hydrated by drinking plenty of Gatorade/water and I'd take a multi vitamin every morning, I also tried to make myself eat, although I was not real successful there, just didn't have an appetite during withdrawls. Oh, I'd take alot of hot baths too. I don't have any other tips for you. Stay with us during the next few days........courage!
thanks a lot, a lot of useful info... i cant really go to my doctor, he didnt know too much, ive been there twice. he gave me vicodin, thats when i tried to ease off with them...i was ok for a little while, very little, then back to doing oxys. vicodin didnt help too much, then i got a bunch myself, stopped AGAIN! and then back... now im tryin to stop for good. i want to get more help then my family/and fam doctor. he gave a referal to go inpatient, i dont want to do that..i wanna try outpatient first, or ease the pain-- and get off of it myself.
xanax works for sleep? what about flexeril, the muscle relax? ill be back
I don't know if you remember me or not but you helped me alot when I was going through the withdrawals. All I can say is that it is a war. I am clean since Jan 10th. I was in detox for 5 days, then probably had a week of pure hell after that. But, each day it got a little better and a little better, each night I would just say thank you lord for helping me through another day. You have to fight it man, fight it with everything in you, Oxy's kill people everyday, you are too good of a person to allow yourself to stay on them. They take everything you have. Money, family, everything. Wake up with an attitude that you are going to fight to get your life back. It is worth it in the end. I feel soooooo good. I am back to my normal self, I have two daughters and I just love being Alert and there for them again. It was a miracle I didn't lose my job, But I didn't. Everyone there has been very supportive also. they have been having meetings at my church and I have been talking to people and their families who are going through this. You just have to believe in yourself, you deserve better. No one deserves to live a life of spending every dime they have on a pill. I have put on 25 lbs since coming clean just because I now have money in my pocket to eat. I would go without food to buy a pill. I spent 15,000 dollars in 4 months on OC's...... Something I regret everyday. But, I am putting the money back and I AM STILL ALIVE!!! Hang in there man, YOU CAN BEAT THIS!!!! If I can beat it anyone can!!
How are you doing today??? I use the xanax for the anxiety/no sleep issues. It seems to level out that "craziness" in my head when i am in w/d. Me and a few friends of mine got into oxys pretty good there for awhile. I had a very rough w/d. I really do think that oxy w/d is a lot harder than a vike w/d....
The way i got off of them was to make a drop down, like you did with the vikes. That or methadone.
I used to do the exact same as you, on and off, on and off, on and off....
Finally a good friend on this board told me i am just torturing my body and brain. I really think it is true, when we are right on the edge of w/d every dam day!! I finally got sick of being sick. It ends up we are sick more than we are high, so what is the use????
Why not seek some sort of maintenance drug, suboxone or methadone???
I really think us oxy abusers are at a different level than others. It is one hell of a jump from oxy to vicodin....that in itself says something.
Nuerontin is supposed to help with the restless leg, i have heard but never tried it. Did you take it last night? did it work?
O.k. Gangster, you be strong, and give those numbers a call again today. You can't go at this alone. It just doesn't work that way.....
Ride it out, you can do it. You will feel so dam good in a couple of weeks when all of this crap is behind you.