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Old 04-22-2005, 02:38 PM   #1
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cka2525 HB User
Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Well I'm finally at an all time low. I hit rock bottom, and I need to do something about it. I have a binge eating disorder. I love sweets, and sweets and sweets. Here is my story. Last year, for a 5'2'' girl, I was not sapoed to weigh 140. So I went on a diet and lost 20 lbs. Somewhere along the line, I got a eating disorer. I think it was because I was resticting sweets. So diet=no dessert, or anything! Do you get what I mean? So I began to crave them more and more, untill I just cracked. And thats where I am now. I gained 10 lbs. I'm pretty upset and I need help with this. I am embarresd to say I think about food all the time, counting calories, ect...
I'm not the typical person who would have this problem. I'm 5'2'' , almost 17 year old girl. I play a lot of soccer and am looking to get a good chunk of money for it in college. I've already been being contacted by many schools. I am not trying to brag or say, (someone like me cant have a disorder). I guess I'm trying to say is, I cant tell anyone about this, so I guess it would be nice to have a friend).
I feel as though my body is messed up. I havent gotten my period in over a year, I snap at people a lot when I'm going through a binging era, I'm very caught up in my appearence and looking good, I bought 80 dollars jeans to use as motivatoin to get back down to 120 and thats ******* me off as well. If you can help me or going through the same problem, please respond. Or if you have some insight or any words of advice, I'd appreciate it greatly.

 
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Old 04-22-2005, 07:06 PM   #2
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RubySlippers HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cka2525
Well I'm finally at an all time low. I hit rock bottom, and I need to do something about it. I have a binge eating disorder. I love sweets, and sweets and sweets. Here is my story. Last year, for a 5'2'' girl, I was not sapoed to weigh 140. So I went on a diet and lost 20 lbs. Somewhere along the line, I got a eating disorer. I think it was because I was resticting sweets. So diet=no dessert, or anything! Do you get what I mean? So I began to crave them more and more, untill I just cracked. And thats where I am now. I gained 10 lbs. I'm pretty upset and I need help with this. I am embarresd to say I think about food all the time, counting calories, ect...
I'm not the typical person who would have this problem. I'm 5'2'' , almost 17 year old girl. I play a lot of soccer and am looking to get a good chunk of money for it in college. I've already been being contacted by many schools. I am not trying to brag or say, (someone like me cant have a disorder). I guess I'm trying to say is, I cant tell anyone about this, so I guess it would be nice to have a friend).
I feel as though my body is messed up. I havent gotten my period in over a year, I snap at people a lot when I'm going through a binging era, I'm very caught up in my appearence and looking good, I bought 80 dollars jeans to use as motivatoin to get back down to 120 and thats ******* me off as well. If you can help me or going through the same problem, please respond. Or if you have some insight or any words of advice, I'd appreciate it greatly.

If you deprive yourself of something you really like, it is only human nature to get to a point where you say ,,,OK...I'm gonna eat the WHOLE thing. If you are overweight, you don't go on a "diet", you change your eating habits FOREVER. No foods are forbidden, just limited. You can eat anything you want in moderation and still lose weight. If you deprive yourself from anything...be it food, sex, whatever, you will most certainly get to the point where you just go nuts and eat the whole thing, or sleep with a bunch of people....anything you say "no" to that is really ok in moderation will creep up on you.....

Of course you think about food all the time....you are counting calories and restricting yourself. That only makes you think about food more and more...

And....DON'T EVER BUY CLOTHING THAT IS TOO SMALL FOR YOU!!!.. It's not an incentive at all...but simply another reason to get ****** off at yourself.


You are only 17. I'm not sure I'd think of your not having a period as as disorder. It's really too easy to blame other ***** like this on a disorder when really you just need to eat healthier and exercise. Don't limit youself to only a few foods. The key is...if you want to have that cookie then HAVE it. But only have one or two...not the whole package.....

Losing weight is a lifestyle change that is forever. Eat well, exercise adequately, lose weight....

Good luck
Angela

 
Old 04-22-2005, 10:58 PM   #3
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rosietee HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

cka . . .

Please read this . . . I think we shall be great friends, although I am older, and I hope you will continue participate here. (I am an oldtimer who has only been poking my head in every now and then, and just vowed today that I will spend at least 30 minutes every day reading and/or writing on this board, because it helps me so much.)

I have gone through a lot of what I think you are thinking and feeling. It is often alot more complex than what others might think. Sure, there are those who just enjoy food, don't feel like exercising and gain and it sucks, but that is not always the case. Especially since you are thinking about these issues to the extent you described, I think there may be more to it, and that you are more like everyone on this board than you may think. I also know that it is a lousy way of life.

First, just to let you know that I think I can relate, I ran for my college team and since have run marathons as well. My running buddy and I were so so sick, now that I look back. I remember us going out for a run and her screaming at me because I said half a banana was 100 calories and she said no, she had just eaten a whole banana and she was sure that it could not be 200 calories!! My eating disorder seems like it probably started when I was around 16, yet I was 9th in my graduating class from high school, lead in the school play, honor society, officer of the student government, after having already skipped a grade early on, and always in special classes since I was 9, as well as summer programs for the "gifted and talented." I went to an excellent college and did fine despite my preoccupation with other things and eventually completed graduate school, although a few years after graduating and having at least partially dealt with my eating disorder.

Now I can use your same phrase that " I don't mean to brag, but . . ." because I know that this is the only way that you will believe me.

I am not going to be able to write everything I want to say tonight, but I really want you to know that there can be a real physical danger, although I know that it is impossible to change your point of view overnight--it is much more complex than that. I am learning also that in addition to any psychological components, you may be having problems to begin with because of hormonal/metabolic problems. But anyway, I just want to at least get that into your mind right away. I didn't throw up until a couple years into it, and I never did it alot, but I never did it again when a girl in my eating disorder group was talking about having to spend over a thousand dollars to have her jaw rebuilt. That is why maybe I can just scare you a little bit about this.

But here are just a few of my humble opinions--

I don't think anyone can get better without other recovering eating disorder people and/or a specialist with eating disorders. No one else will truly understand, and anyone else you will say is jealous and just wants you to be fat. Also, you will realize you are not a freak and the only one that thinks this way. However, I could never relate to a 12-step program for this disorder (Overeaters Anonymous), as you simply cannot stop eating everything all together. That's why this was one the hardest things I had ever done in my life.

I think thought stopping is a big first step to stop that constant dialogue in your head. That can actually be learned. We can talk about that another time.

Also, prozac really really helped me.

I truly believe that someone with an active eating disorder is not really capable of having a complete relationship. My opinion on this is hard to describe--I always a boyfriend going or dating, but I found this was true for me.

Now, I got pretty thin a couple times, though not really emaciated like under 100 pounds or anything. When I was binging and then overexcercising I would fluctuate. And I was never purging daily or anything, probably like 15 times total. But you know on the zyban/wellbutrin commercials where they say not to take it if you have ever had a seizure disorder or an eating disorder? Well 10 years after getting through my eating disorder, I had a grand mal seizure. 6 years later, I had another one and I am now trying to recover from the effects of a concussion and skull fracture incurred when I fell during this latest seizure. Now, no one really knows for sure why (I don't think so, anyway). There is a possibility the brain dysfunction causes the overeating. But nevertheless, you are more likely to have a seizure, at least with certain medications if you have EVER had an eating disorder. Even if it was 20 years ago.

If a therapist tells you to completely stop exercising, like some will, find another one. Because the exercise itself, in moderation, really does help, and I know that you can still train extensively as an athlete and not have an eating disorder. Even at my worst, I just limited my exercise for a little while, but never completely stopped it, and was able to recover.

Wow I have gone past my 30 minutes and have not read any other messages. (This message showed upon my e-mail update on new topics.)Well, maybe this is overkill, but I at least want to get you thinking. You do not sound like you are as bad off as I was and you probably won't believe me that it is a slippery slope.

Your friend,
rosie

 
Old 04-23-2005, 06:29 AM   #4
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Twinlynn HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Cka- Hi and welcome to the board. I don't have a eating disorder (though my continuous worrying about everything I eat, because I am older and put on weight more quickly, is certainly not healthy! It becomes a full-time job, worrying about getting thin!!)

I know that when we are preoccupied with "thin"--it doesn't help to say "oh, we're just victims of a society that decided that the "right look" means slipping through gratings on the sidewalk!!!" We can talk to ourselves day and night....but we still agonize over the shape that the fashion world pushes on us, with every ad, every magazine, every television image. (I thought the world had come to an end when even OPRAH managed to get so darn skinny!! That was the last straw! LOLOLOL!)

Anyway, all I can offer you is to let you know that you've just heard some great advice from Rosie and Rubie. Eating disorders are so complex...and I have known some people, over the years, with them. It's a disorder that takes many, many forms. And, people you might discuss it with....even your friends...may know little about it as an actual "illness."

As I'm writing this, I suddenly had this flash memory of my first year of college--at age 17---5 foot 5 inches and 121 lbs--and there I was, desperately dieting to lose another 10 lbs--so I didn't feel so "chunky" around my good pal--who was a fashion model--and PAINFULLY thin!!!! She would jokingly grasp the tiny bit of flab on my upper arms and shake her head back and forth. We did this very humorously...but I now realize the effect it had on me...and my body image. Not good!!!

(...a quick aside....Rosie! :-) How are YOU doing?? You will be such a good friend to Cka!!) :-)

So.....I do hope you will stick around for all the good advice you will get from this board. You will find good friends here. :-) my best, Lynn

 
Old 04-23-2005, 02:15 PM   #5
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cka2525 HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Wow, thank you so much guys. I re read all of your messages because they had a good impact on me. Rubyslippers, I understand what your saying about if I go cold turkey on something I crave it more. I should eat it in moderation. That is what I am going to try to do, but I always want to overeat what I'm going to eat. Rosietee, I really appreciate you taking that much time out of the day to read my story. Its very nice to know that you were in a situation like mine. If you ever have the time, I'd love to talk to you more because you really lifted me up today. Twinlynn, thankyou for that reality check. Your right about "victims of society". It must of been hard in college to be dieting like that. I went down to 117.5 and looked fine but I wanted to go lower. Then I shot up to 123 then up to 130 from there. All in all, thankyou guys for your responce.

 
Old 04-23-2005, 03:54 PM   #6
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seekingnormal05 HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RubySlippers
If you deprive yourself of something you really like, it is only human nature to get to a point where you say ,,,OK...I'm gonna eat the WHOLE thing. If you are overweight, you don't go on a "diet", you change your eating habits FOREVER. No foods are forbidden, just limited. You can eat anything you want in moderation and still lose weight. If you deprive yourself from anything...be it food, sex, whatever, you will most certainly get to the point where you just go nuts and eat the whole thing, or sleep with a bunch of people....anything you say "no" to that is really ok in moderation will creep up on you.....

Of course you think about food all the time....you are counting calories and restricting yourself. That only makes you think about food more and more...

And....DON'T EVER BUY CLOTHING THAT IS TOO SMALL FOR YOU!!!.. It's not an incentive at all...but simply another reason to get ****** off at yourself.


You are only 17. I'm not sure I'd think of your not having a period as as disorder. It's really too easy to blame other ***** like this on a disorder when really you just need to eat healthier and exercise. Don't limit youself to only a few foods. The key is...if you want to have that cookie then HAVE it. But only have one or two...not the whole package.....

Losing weight is a lifestyle change that is forever. Eat well, exercise adequately, lose weight....

Good luck
Angela
Angela:

Would you apply this same logic to drug usage?

I think people do not understand that, for some people, food is an addiction.

When I read your advise I wonder if you would tell the people here to struggle with drugs to just try to control their amount/dosage.

I know of where I speak. In 2001 I weighed 365. Today I am slightly over 200. No gastric bypass, just a long battle.

For me it's addiction. Telling me to eat one piece of pie is the same as telling me to eat the pie. And there are still days when I eat the pie. But I've learned that I have to treat it as an addiction if I am to survive.

Just my 2 cents.

 
Old 04-23-2005, 10:52 PM   #7
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RubySlippers HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Quote:
Originally Posted by seekingnormal05
Angela:

Would you apply this same logic to drug usage?

I think people do not understand that, for some people, food is an addiction.

When I read your advise I wonder if you would tell the people here to struggle with drugs to just try to control their amount/dosage.

I know of where I speak. In 2001 I weighed 365. Today I am slightly over 200. No gastric bypass, just a long battle.

For me it's addiction. Telling me to eat one piece of pie is the same as telling me to eat the pie. And there are still days when I eat the pie. But I've learned that I have to treat it as an addiction if I am to survive.

Just my 2 cents.
Dear Seeking,

I find food addiction akin to drug/alcholism addiction. They are similar, although in my opinion food addiction is much more difficult to overcome than other addictions. I relate food addiction to an alcoholic/drug addict who, by whatever powers that be, HAS to have only one drink/fix a day to survive. Food is an addiction just the same as drugs or alcohol....but one must eat to live.

Of course we know that drug addicts/alcholics don't need thier "fix" to survive (only in severe cases where the person could have severe affects if they don't taper off), but it does relate to food addiction. Could you imagine a hard core alcoholic/drug addict that must have only one drink/drug a day to stay alive? Food is the same type of addiction, but it has way different implications. If you don't eat, you die. If you don't drink/drug you don't die. We all need to eat to sustain life. But...we cannot overeat lest we become overweight and unhealthy. No one needs to drink or do drugs to sustain life...they can quit the unhealthy lifestyle and still live.

BUT....we all need to eat in order to sustain life.

If a person with an addictive personality, or problems in thier life that they "fix" with food, can you imagine how hard it is to limit the amount of food intake for that person who "gets high" from eating? I know, I've been there. Imagine if you will, that a person whio is addicted to drugs or an alcoholic must have a drink/drug of choice per day to stay alive....BUT, only a small amount. How hard would that be to accomplish???

It is all about what you need to survive versus what you do to get high. In my opinion food addiciton is one hundred times harder to address and fix than drug/alcohol addicion. A person needs to eat to live. They have dinner on the table and they fill thier plate. Eat it all and have an almost unstoppable need to eat more.

Please alcoholis/drug addicts, don't get me wrong, all addictions are difficult to overcome. I just think that food addiction is really difficult because you need to eat to live and trying to control what you eat is really hard. Alcoholics and drug users do not have to ingest what they use in order to survive.

Hope I explained myself well enough so that no one gets too mad at me...

Seeking....Kudos to you on your weight loss!!!!

Please don't bash me folks.....
Best wishes, Angela

Last edited by RubySlippers; 04-23-2005 at 11:41 PM.

 
Old 04-25-2005, 12:33 PM   #8
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RubySlippers HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

seekingnormal....

Do you have a reply to my post???

"Would you apply this same logic to drug usage?

I think people do not understand that, for some people, food is an addiction.

When I read your advise I wonder if you would tell the people here to struggle with drugs to just try to control their amount/dosage.

I know of where I speak. In 2001 I weighed 365. Today I am slightly over 200. No gastric bypass, just a long battle.

For me it's addiction. Telling me to eat one piece of pie is the same as telling me to eat the pie. And there are still days when I eat the pie. But I've learned that I have to treat it as an addiction if I am to survive.

Just my 2 cents."


I really would like to know your thoughts on my post. The person who had the authority to deny my insurance claim for gastric bypass wanted me to expain in my own words. I told her that I liken food addiction to an alcholic that MUST have only ONE drink per day to survive. Yeah, right.....if you are addicted to anyting having only one, or whateve is impossible.....

Seeking, please respond with your thoughts. I am very interested.

Thx, Angela

 
Old 04-27-2005, 05:09 PM   #9
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seekingnormal05 HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Angela:

I've thought about this almost every day but just been too busy to post.

Here's what I have come to believe.
You are absolutely right.

Food is an entirely different beast than drugs because you have to have food.
That's why my heart goes out to those who have had drug dependency
issues and then have a major illness or injury that requires they use drugs
again. That is a taste of what it's like to deal with food addiction.

Regarding food, it's about knowing what your triggers are. The concept
within drug usage is "drug of choice". I think of them as my "binge triggers".

I love grapefruit. You could advise me to indulge in a grapefruit if I was
honestly hungry and it would be good advise. Because, while I love grapefruit, I would never begin a binge because I ate a grapefruit.

I love cake. No matter how "deprived" I feel, I can't eat cake. One piece will
lead to two, then a donut, then...... There's a mental process that goes
with the piece of cake. I blew it. So why not complete the failure before
I start back on the right path.

Even if I ate two grapefruits I would never feel that way. Cake is a "food
of choice"...a trigger. And I think most people who binge know, if they
give it thought, what their triggers are.

So that's why I believe advising someone who knows they binge to eat that
which (and I admit I'm guessing here) would likely trigger a binge to keep
from feeling deprived, is bad advise.

Breaking an addiction is about feeling deprived sometimes. I would advise
someone fighting this battle to not starve themselves, but to avoid
their trigger foods like they are poision. Eat those two grapefruits....or
whatever the food is for you that you like but doesn't make you binge.
But avoid the ones you know you can't control.

That's just my 2 cents.

Your turn.

 
Old 04-27-2005, 05:15 PM   #10
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seekingnormal05 HB User
Re: Suffer a binge eating disoder?

Angela:

On another topic, did you get approved for the gastric bypass?

Have you had the surgery?

I know a woman who had it in August, 2000. I started my "diet" after
that. Basically, I am a big chicken. As hard as this has been, I was
afraid to have the surgery.

There are many, many days when I regret my decision. I'm still technically
eligible because of my height/weight but my insurance will not cover it
unless you're about 30-40 pounds heavier than I am.

Of course, there are days when I think it would be much smarter to gain
that 30-40 than to keep fighting to lose the last 50!!!

And I'd never bash anyone. Everyone has their opinions and thoughts.
And I think we both know first hand what a fight our lives are with
food. Last think I need is to start one with another person!

 
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