terrorism and addiction - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Mike_NY · 07-08-2005, 05:33 PM

Hi all, long time no post.

Some of you who may remember me may recall that I expressed that 9/11 was the beginning of the progression of my addictions. I was scared and angry living in New York City, and self medicated in order to stop feeling in what I percieved to be a lousy hostile world. Of course my story dates back 20 years prior, but yep, 9/11 was most definitely a turning point where I started progressing and isolating more.

It took me four years on that gradual slippery slope downaward to discover recovery. That was on Jan. 15th of this year. I've been doing great for the most part with a couple of very brief slips.

Well today I slipped again. The attacks in London triggered those feelings in me again. It's no coinncidence that I have been slacking off on meetings the past 4 weeks or so. Well today I woke up with a stiff neck, and figured it was a valid reason to visit the doctor to get some meds. I was off to the races all day today thinking about the pills, running out to the pharmacy several times in the middle of the work day in pouring rain with no umbrella. I didn't care, I just wanted some pills. I got 20 5/500 vicodins (not the strength I normally would take), and took two after work. It doesn't even feel that good, don't think I'll be taking any more. My stiff neck does feel better though.

It's just very interesting that this happened. I was just talking to my councelor on Tuesday about how 9/11 was a crucial point in my life with addiction and stuff, and two days later..bwam.

Just shows how baffling this whole recovery thing is. In one split second you can be off to the races, it's unbelievable.

I'll have to get back on track with meetings ASAP.

Take care everyone. Stay well.

dwp512 · 07-08-2005, 06:23 PM

Hey Mike,

You were certainly an inspiration to me back when I/we first came onto these boards. Didn't know the 9/11 story, but can certainly see how recent events could be a trigger. You know what you need to do...

I'll be thinking about you and hope you nip this in the bud. Thanks for your honesty.

dp

thghtsreal · 07-08-2005, 06:30 PM

Mike, you can't make excuses for taking drugs. 9/11, WWIII, tidal waves.... bad breakup with your girlfriend, whatever. There are a million excuses.

The drugs are lying to you, man.

The vast majority of human beings live in the same crazy world and they do it without drugs. You can too.

I am writing to support your dedication to living clean and not to critisize you. Don't let the drugs lie to you, Mike. You don't need drugs to cope with the world.

Vanguard · 07-09-2005, 08:18 AM

Mike, the other day I heard on the news about this guy using the 9/11 experience get a lesser jail time for his crime. He said that 9/11 had stressed him out that's why he started commiting crimes YEARS after 9/11. HE WASN'T EVEN IN NEW YORK ON SEPT 11 2001!

If you were close to the incident or have friends or relatives that were killed, symphaties to you. But using "horrible world we live in" excuse to use drugs is just ludicrous.

Most Vietnam vets who were addicted to H came back to the "world" and became unaddicted.

havehadit · 07-09-2005, 08:47 AM

Mike,

Evidently you were clean for awhile and now you have decided to use again. You know as well as anyone that most of us don't need an excuse to use. I used when I was happy, sad, glum, overwhelmed, stressed, joyful. You name it I had an excuse. That is not to say that world events don't stress people out, they do. But not to be hard on you but that is really a lame excuse and a copout. You used because you wanted to be high more then you wanted to stay clean............period. If you want to get clean again you know what to do, throw out the vikes that you have and get mad, get tough! and nip this in the bud before you get hooked again.

W.