Somebody Help! Just Screwed up BIG TIME!
I've been using Suboxone for five days. I must admit, it worked better than I ever thought it could (and the money I'm saving is amazing!) Now I don't have to wait on tables and think, "Hmm, a five-spot, that'll get me a 10 milligram!"
However, I keep wanting to "chase that high" even when I don't really need it. Last night at work, a customer was going on about these "pain pills" she had and said that SHE coldn't work a job like that (one of those glamorous ones, waiting tables at the exclusive "Waffle House") without taking SOMEthing. So of course I asked what she was peddling, and found she was selling 30mg morphine tablets. I bought three (for no reason at all, except it seemed like a bargain.)
And this morning the twins (15, girls) were such - [can't say it here, but anyone with teenagers can fill in the blank!] that I took 60mgs of the morphine. My last suboxone as at about 6:00 last night.
Can anyone tell me what's going to happen to me? Now I'm scared to death!
I'd like to say a word about Suboxone. I had the bottle for over a week without using it. Well, I DID use it, for a paperweight, something to shake to make my neice go to sleep, and marvel at the pleasing orange color. But to put it under my tongue and thus knock out any chances of being high for like a week? Oh no, not for me!
Then Andrew wanted to go to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and I'd just had a few days off and couldn't afford any oxys. I knew I had to do something to feel better, so up went the tongue and (why does that sound so perverted?) and under went the 8mg tablet.
I had that energy I'd been whining about, and I didn't feel that terrible "God I gotta have an oxy or I'll die right here" feeling. I found that the movie didn't suck, so I took a plunge and went to work the next day, a 10-hour shift, with just the suboxone. And it went fine, it really did. In fact, I didn't worry so much about things - like, "Will I get off in time to go see my dealer" and "How many oxys will these tips buy?" I came home with about $45 bucks and change (hey, I never said I was a GOOD waitress!) and except for cigarettes and gas, it was all mine. I used to count the change to turn into bills (thus affording, many times, another oxy) and this time I just put it all in a big Big Bird bank I keep on my nightstand (did I tell you I use the same decorator as Donald Duck?) (I was planning put Donald "Trump" there but "duck" sounded so much funnier! - and when you think about it, there ARE similarities!) I didn't even count the change. I'm figuring that when it's full it will hold about a hundred bucks or more (for it's a sizeable duck.)
For those of you who are so very busy chasing that high, please don't be afraid of taking the suboxone or subutex. It really does work! It tastes kinda like dried out Tang (something we're all familiar with, or is it just me?) And the energy we all enjoyed when the hydros and oxys kicked in is still there! I cleaned my room (well, part of it) and actually made a batch of brownies that the kids were allowed to eat! All in all, the sub is a blessing to me and I'm betting anyone who's afraid to try it will be pleasantly surprised.
Taking the Morphine made me realize that it will take longer than one week to stop craving the opiates - or stop wanting to - you know, make deals for them, that kind of thing. This stuff really does work. And when they say you don't get "high", don't let that stop you. Because I beleive it IS a high when you can wake up in the morning and not use the number of drugs you have left to decide whether or not you'll get out of bed or not. And it IS a high to see that extra money and know it's not going into the hands of some sleaze who can't wait for more addicts to come along. And it's quite a high when I can sit down and write a post and not have to struggle to think of the words best used to describe my feelings (in fact, I've so much energy I'm typing with my nose!)
Well, I wanted to keep those of you up who kept ME up when I was on my first days of withdrawal with no help at all. Okay, so I'm not really typing with my nose, but I swear I used to use my toe to scroll down to read the next post, for I hadn't the energy to scoot up and use my hands, and that's no joke! My daughter laughed her arse off to see me doing that. (I made up some crap about improving my dexterity and she bought it.) Caught her on her own computer once using her toe, too, and nodded wisely to her then left her room and busted out laughing.
Hey, can anyone tell me what that morphine's gonna do to me? My guess is absolutely nothing, but I'd like your input, since I have to go to work in about an hour and a half (imagining myself turning purple like that girl in Wonkaland and having the oompa-loompas rolling me out through the syrup-saturated floor.)
Thanks for you, all of you. Your help has been immense and your candor has been truly inspiring.
And, as I like to say, in the words of little Tim, "God Bless us, every one!"
Sorry for such a short post, but man, do I need an answer fast!