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Getting Scared

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Old 09-16-2005, 05:20 PM   #1
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henrysintrouble HB User
Getting Scared

I'm a 30 year old male. I've been addicted to vicodin and percocet for about 3 years now. I've taken them off and on, taking as little as 3 or 4 a day, up to 20 a day. I'm getting married in a week (she doesnt know about my problem) and I just bought a house. I've been taking the 5 milligram percocet with the 325 aced, and taking 15 to 20 a day. I'm starting to experience frequent stomach and right side pain. I'm getting nervous if all the pills I've taken are starting to damage my liver. I've been reading up on it (i'm a hypocondract to begin with) and I've been taking over the maximum daily allowance of acedominaphen. After my honeymoon, I'm gonna step down slowly and give quiting another shot. I've tried to quit a few times over the last year...the withdrawls are killer. Am I paranoid or am I doing some serious damage to myself???

Last edited by henrysintrouble; 09-16-2005 at 05:39 PM.

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Old 09-16-2005, 05:34 PM   #2
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henrysintrouble HB User
Re: Getting Scared

I also just want to say that this is my first time really talkin about this to anyone, never even been on a site like this before. Thanks in advance for any responses. Really appreciate. Just think doin this to myself is slowly killing me....

Old 09-17-2005, 07:55 AM   #3
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henrysintrouble HB User
Re: Getting Scared

No one can help me out with a response?

Old 09-17-2005, 08:19 AM   #4
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 81
Re: Getting Scared

I dont know if you want a respose from me but i will give it a shot....the first thing you need to do is decide if you want to admit you have a WILL be able to do whtever you put your mind too, I am recentley engaged with about few hundred problems along with trying to quit these pills,i am sure you have read he is going coldturkey and i am trying to titrate down until monday because i have a depo for a lawsuit that i have been involved in, there is no good time to do it, sometimes is better then others,I understand the last thing you want to do is tell anyone but if you want this, and want to do it at home, you might have to, you need support, NA helped me out A LOT, i took tj to a meeting last night and it did him a world of goos, its just all about taking one min at a time, if what you say you are taking is the truth, i detoxed the first time at home with a friend who was not an addict and i was doing the same drug you were but a lot more and i can honestly say, it was not that bad, but i had someone by my side that new what i was going thru, you can do this is you want it bad enough and i understand your getting married and no is no time to break the news, we just put off our wedding, so i understand how difficult this is for you, just keep posting, and just think about how much you want it, no matter what happens when you are clean, it doent matter what you go thru, a break up, no matter if you loose everything, at least your clean, i know easier said then done, but just take this one day at a time and worry about what you are going to do TODAY....thats all that matters id today,,you are gonna be ok i promise..keep posting you are helping us out so much...good luck

Old 09-17-2005, 08:53 AM   #5
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joanharvest HB User
Re: Getting Scared

I think you need to be honest with your fiance. With support from her you might be able to once and for all get off these pills. It's very difficult for an addict to wean off opiates. The only way my son was able to stop the insanity was to go cold turkey. He was taking high doses of oxycontin equal to about 64 percocets a day along with the heroin he was doing. He's 8 months clean. He could never have done it alone. You need some kind of support --whether it be your fiance, parents, friends who don't use, or NA meetings. Once things are out in the open you will find it much easier to do what has to be done to get off these pills.

Acetaminophen definitely affects stomach and liver if taken for a long period of time at high doses. But your body has an amazing power to heal itself once you stop abusing it.

Of course this is just my opinion. But I do know one thing, opiates lead to nowhere good. If you you are taking them as prescribed for legitimate pain, that's one thing---but if you are taking them for any other reason they will take you on a trip to ****.

Old 09-17-2005, 09:28 AM   #6
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Kansas
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bluejulie5 HB User
Re: Getting Scared

I really think that you need to tell the lady that you are going to marry.
Starting a marrige off with a lie is not good.

I would bet that your liver is just fine.

It is a stressfull time right now, with you getting married soon, but still,
I would tell your fiance if I were you.
If she loves you she will be okay!! She will support you, I bet!!!!
Good luck

Old 09-17-2005, 10:36 AM   #7
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henrysintrouble HB User
Re: Getting Scared

Thanks Joan and TJ's fiance. Sometimes you need to hear those kind of things to push you in the right direction. I've quit soooooo many time but landed right back where I am now. Think I've at least taken the first step by talking to someone, even though its not the people closest to me. Might even be better speaking with people who know what I'm going through. Again, thanks for the support and the kind words. Kinda what I need right now....

Old 09-17-2005, 11:14 AM   #8
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hsthompson HB User
Re: Getting Scared

Well, let's see... as far as your liver values go -as I can recall from PDR (I'm going on faith now) it should not be an overly toxic compound to the liver, and I'll go ahead say I don't think it's a concerning factor to the liver, rather than the stomach, but not toxic.

As far as your daily life and I have experience in this area as my mother (who was a nurse) became addicted to Hydrocodone (357) after 27 years as an RN, and lost it for writting scrips (calling in her own.) She had turned completely side-ways personality wise, over those years slowly but it was a progression. You just have to find a reason to stop either a positive reason, or facing a negative one. It can be a trecherous road. Maybe a little help.

Old 09-18-2005, 09:54 AM   #9
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rontiss1 HB User
Thumbs up Re: Getting Scared

regarding your problem,,you will be okay, i was scared several times, using vicodin and barbituates which were prescribed, however, the sedatives and vicodins took an effect on me that turned me into another person. People became suspicious of my behavior and one actually said in front of me "What are you on?"....I was always trying to hide my addiction to these pills, even detoxed one time, but I did and feel a hundred times better. The only hard road was the withdrawls,but I took it a minute at a time, sometimes a second at a time. I did what I had to do...Good luck in the future and happy marriage

Old 09-18-2005, 10:04 AM   #10
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babygirl2005_21 HB User
Re: Getting Scared

It seems like to me you should be a little more worried about telling your fiance this shocking news that you have been hiding than your liver pain! She may be very upset and she doesn't need you to tell her this right before the wedding day as she is probably stressed to the max already. I think you really should have told her about this a long time ago. I am not trying to be rude but I am just putting myself in her shoes. If my husband told me he was addicted to opiates after we were married and I had no clue I might re-think the whole marriage. Marriage is about honesty and trust don't start it off like this. As for your addiction, I think you really need to figure out what is important to you in life. Pills or this wonderful woman you are about to marry.

Old 09-19-2005, 04:15 PM   #11
Join Date: Sep 2005
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tripleair HB User
Re: Getting Scared

I'm in your position right now. I'm engaged and have had a two year addiction to vic. But we have not set a date and I'll be damned if I go into marriage without my wits about me. I don't want to sound like an SOB but have you thought about how this drug changes your perspective on people and your life? Not only for my future wife, but for myself as well, I have to look at her, my relationship, and my future, with clear eyes and mind.....and what if the future has kids in it too? Now, in a way I'm just talking to myself here but hopefully you relate.
From what I've read over and over again on the boards, it sounds like CT is the way to go. I've done it before and it is only bad for about 2 days. I kind of think of it as a 2 day hangover. That is not much to pay for the freedom you will have from this crazy thing.
I'm going CT carefully in a couple of weeks. She is going on vacation and I'm going to a hot spring retreat to kick this thing. I understand not wanting to tell her. As another guy, why ruin a good thing if you don't have to? I'm not telling her unless I can't follow through on this. So, all be it complicated, I'm going for it. Maybe you can too? Good luck!

Old 09-19-2005, 09:46 PM   #12
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Arememom HB User
Re: Getting Scared

I read your post and all the replies. I agree with all of the replies. One thing I think is important is you need a support system. You need the support that only other recovering addicts can give you. I encourage you to go to NA. You can find the locations by calling your local NA or online under Narcotics Anonymous. You said you have quit several times over the few months. And you couldn't stay quit. That's why you need that support system. So even if it's 3:00am and you want to use, you can pick up that phone and call someone. That person will do whatever it takes to help you not use at that moment. Sometimes all we need is to talk and it gives us the strength to say no. Take one minute, hour, day at a time.

Old 09-20-2005, 07:20 AM   #13
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 8
typnwiz HB User
Re: Getting Scared

Quitting on your own is possible, but it is extremely difficult. I went cold turkey off of opiates in 85. In 1990 I moved back to my hometown and was back to the races again! I too was able to eat 10 percocet at one time. Then there is that "gotta have tomorrow's supply" because you cannot function without the opiates. If I were you, I would really seek help because if you are not going to tell your future spouse, she will find out anyway - by the way you act, your moods, when you are sick, etc. I had a life long addiction to opiates. In 1996 I went on Methadone. I stayed on it for 9 years! It kept me from using opiates, but then - you feel like a prisoner on the Methadone - you cannot travel because you have to find a clinic - so, as God so willed it, I moved to Georgia in July of this year. I was on 22 mgs. when I got here. I found a clinic, boy did I ever! $320.00 a month for the meth and $200.00 a month in gas, plus 40 miles a day on my car - because I was new to the State, I had to start from the beginning!! After two months of that, I sought a doctor and started on the Suboxene - a medicine which treats opiate addition; after all, Methadone IS an opiate. Today is Day One on the 40 Day plan of treatment. It is 10am and I am feeling alright. I am sure I will be okay - especially since my dose was so low at 22mgs. I just know I will do this. At almost 53 years of age, I often wonder - why did I spend a good portion of my life as a "functioning" addict. Sounds like that's what you are trying to do - be a functioning addict. You can hide it from everyone for so long, but it will be so hard to hide it from your spouse. Look for help. Find a doctor who prescribes Suboxene, which is expensive, but so are the pills - and the methadone for that matter. Good luck to you and I will let you know how I feel tomorrow, Day2 on Suboxene.

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