I sit here and read everone's posts and it seems like most of the people who have had problems with Lortabs, Ultram and Oxy's, like I do, have all been prescribed these things by their doctors. I feel like I am the only one that got hooked on these things without a prescription. What is the best way to get off of these meds(and stay off) without really bad withdrawl? I also am having a lot of trouble with alcohol. I have tried to quit before and failed( the drugs and the alcohol). My problems are getting worse everyday. I am only 18 and don't want to have the type of life that comes from these addictions. Can someone please help me?
Last edited by SpasticMonkey; 09-22-2005 at 09:02 PM.
I'm not sure how it came about that you found this board, but I can tell you that you're in a place that can help you. In these many posts, you'll find countless stories of people who would give anything to be 18 again and to have the knowledge contained in these heartfelt accounts of how the very drugs you named has taken decades from their lives. You can follow the individual poster through his/her drug use, his attempts to stop, his failures and successes, and see the impact their addiction has had on their lives.
I won't speak for anyone else, but I can say that my addiction to oxycontin did not begin with a medical problem or a doctor's prescription. I was offered an oxy very much in the way a person is presented with his first drink - a non-medical, fun and enthusiastic setting. Everyone doing it seemed to be enjoying the bejesus out of it, and I looked at it as just a way to further, say, a mild beer buzz.
Twenty years later, at age 40, I realize what a terrible mistake I made when I swallowed that first tiny pill. Someplace in there, the swallowing turned into snorting, and the 10mg turned into 40, and - well, you probably know the drill.
I can tell you one thing I'm 100% certain of, however. One day I was a 21-year-old, attractive, talented graduate of the Air Force Academy with the entire world at my feet. And seemingly the very next day I awoke a 40-year-old opiate addict who'd chosen feeling good over doing well for the better part of my youth. Youth that, incidentally, you still have to enjoy.
You know, you talked about how the people on this board seemed to've all gotten their drug habits from a doctor's prescription pad. I believe some have, some haven't. What I do know about these folks is that you just can't lump them all into any certain category. These are some of the most insightful, creative, strong and genuine people I've ever known - as a group or otherwise. The only common thread I see among them is the desire to better themselves, often by helping others with their found wisdoms. Personal contact isn't possible here, so they're pretty much doing it for the good of one another, and I think that is just amazing.
I wish I could somehow hynotize you, or otherwise compel you to never, ever touch an opiate excepting of course a medical condition warrants it. I wish I could put every terrible experience I ever had, every opportunity I ever blew, every look of disappointment I've put on a love one's face, into your mind and keep it there in case you were ever tempted. Believe me, it's that important.
Of course, at 40 my life is far from over. I can still do and I can still enjoy success and I can still achieve. But one thing I can never have is a "do over" for all those times I believed it was okay to misuse drugs in order to achieve a few hours of relative bliss. And I can never take back that terrible look of bewilderment on the faces of my parents who could never understand what they'd done wrong in raising me. I cannot erase from memory the way my daughter's face looked, puzzled with a hint of hurt, when drugs made me unable to make good on the promise of a sleepover as soon as she got her first straight A report card.
These aren't things that just happened to a middle-aged housewife; they are, instead, things that happened to someone who was not so long ago, also 18 and wondering.
Kudos to you for coming to this board, and welcome. I hope you find exactly what you need here, as it is here for the taking. May the wisdom generated from our experiences be a beacon to you and guide you away from the poisons we fight daily. I wish you every success in life!
I agree with tomogo. You're in the right place. Read all the post you can. I'm a 48 yr old recovering crack addict. Never into pills, so I never had to deal with the horrible withdrawl from pills. I can tell you that you need all the emotional support you can get. First, you need to get to a NA meeting asap. Recovering addicts will be your best support. Get a sponsor at NA. You need someone to be with you also if you decide to go cold turkey. You will get a lot of differing opinions on tapering down and then going cold turkey versus going total cold turkey. You can expect to feel like shi... for about a week. Read this board every day. People post day and night. I'm a night owl and not working at present, no car, home all day and read and post most any time. Some of the others who have detoxed will post for you soon. Have a good night. Be strong and take one day at a time.
You are SO wise to have made it here at your age. Perhaps this sort of thing is the single greatest result of the internets' existence. Not online shopping, dating, or reference materiel- it's the sharing of wisdom between people in a way that MIGHT just help the next generation do better, far far better than the last. No way to tell you how lucky you are to have realised it's a problem at your age. Right now you have the choice and that is HUGE. Pain or happiness? Acheivement, success and pride, or loss, guilt, shame and emarassment. Addiction never lets up & until you stop, it gets worse and worse. You will eventually lose everything you love including the person you now are- and will have to fight for your life and be very strong and have a bit of a hand from above to make it through at all. When you think about what you are doing- look at it as being at the top of a slide. You can turn around and walk the other way, into the sunset where you belong. One day be driving a nice car and married perhaps to a loving person, the dreams are yours to decide on...or you can go the way that looks easy and fun today- go down the slide. The rush is very short, and the fall is very hard. Worse, you can't stop going down that slide over and over and every time the 'fun' bit gets less and the landing rougher... Look in the mirror TODAY and tell yourself why you deserve to live and live well. If you can't, then look at what's making you think you don't deserve the best in life. God, the pain you end up causing yourself and everyone around you is impossible to describe. Most of us here who are off the drugs thank God every single day just to be able to smell the flowers and enjoy the sunshine. Don't deny yourself a lifetime.... Please! My eldest son is nearly 20 and I think I'd rather throw myself in front of a train than see him hurt himself the way that I did. I just hope I stopped soon enough to show him there's a better way.
Good luck- you'll be in my thoughts a lot. Remember, there are plenty of ways to get 'high' without using the drugs- and the more you cope with lifes' problems without drinking or taking any pills the stronger your own ability to do so will become. The more you turn to crutches to get through, the weaker you get... Don't feed the monster!
Well, I'll step off my soap-box now and hope you will come back often- and get some real-life support (a counsellor, NA/AA, a group, even a sypathetic doc) Either way- come back often, you'll always be welcomed here.
Best of luck
Hello, and welcome, It is nice to have you here. First I would like to say It does not really matter how a person got on the pills, The important thing how to get off. I am going to give you something to think about, Right now you are in prison with this addiction, Yes it has a ball and chain around your foot and you can't shake it off. While what would a person in prison do to get out of those walls that hold them. Also most anything. they would dig there way out, swim a river or climb the hightest mountain to set there self free. You have the power all in side of you. There is help , there is NA programs , rehab, What ever it takes to set your self free you must do that. And you can by the grace of God he will set you free.Nothing is impposible With the help of God and others. please help your self don't put this off and waste this life God has given you. Don't die in vain, By the hand of thoses pills. It will not be easy, AS I have always told my son nothing good in life ever comes easy, Thank god for that. If it did we could not be so greatful for it. If others in this world can do this so can you, Just go get the tools you need and go to work. We are here for you if you need to talk, Remember one thing God loves you , you are so special in his eyes, there will never be but one of you, Love yourself and be true to yourself................................ ..............Felicia
As a mom of an 18 year old heroin addict, still struggling greatly with his addiction and desire to get clean, I am so proud to hear that you are already 1 day clean. Do you have the support you need from family and friends? If not get yourself into a facility that can help you. There is no need to do this on your own. If you want to get clean and change your life, accept the help others are offering. I'm sure as my son has, you must have a ton of people who are willing to stand behind you as you go through this. Keep up the good work and don't ever forget what a bright future you can have
That is great, you just took that first step, Keep climbing, You have done the most important thing, Go get the help need if you have not yet!!! god be with you in every way... My prays are with you............. keep posting Felicia
Welcome my son!! I am so proud of you for coming here. It's a wonderful place filled with wonderful people. And I am sure you are also. Get your bootstraps ready to be pulled up and start walking. You CAN do it, and you will do it. Find a good doctor and let him help you. Preferably one who has experience in addiction. Not all do!! You'll feel it when you found the one, and get to Na and free yourself. You have your whole life to live..live it and be happy!! Come to this board daily and get your fix here!!!!!! it's worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!
In just a few more days you will feel so much better. It gets worse before it gets better. But it will pass, I promise. At 18 you are young and strong. Take it from an ole lady you have youth on your side physically.
Someone is here posting practically all the time. Day or night. Read post and post any time. You'll be suprised who's up watching/posting on the board into the wee hours of the mornings.
To be sucessful it is really important to have a strong support system. Try NA, go to several different meeting sights. Find the one you like and go to a meeting every day for 90 days. During that time you will get the base of support/knowledge you need to stay clean. And during that time you can find someone to be your sponsor. We can't stay clean alone. I can't stress endough that addicts must have a strong system to be successful. Take one day, hour or minute at a time.
You are so smart to be here on these boards. My son started drinking at about 18 years old, then got hooked on OXY. He justed turned 20. He is working so hard to kick the OXY habit..he is having success..he says the drinking is the hardest for him at this time. Just because he associates drinking with certain things he is doing..like bowling & fishing..he feels like drinking made these situations more fun. Probably drinking made social situation more exciting too..because he thinks he is somewhat shy..although I would never see him as a shy person. The key to his success as a young person has been to take yourself out & away from the people and situations where you find yourself wanting to party, drink, do drugs whatever you are trying to quit. He tried to quit before & stayed around the partiers & he fell everytime. Do your parents know about your present situation? Are you out of high school? Do you have brothers or sisters who know what you are involved in? I think the first things is to admit you have a problem. Do everything in your power or with the help of others who love you to pull yourself away from your present situation, environment. You have to leave your group of friends..just distance yourself. You have to be so committed to getting clean. Think about each choice you make. Plan ahead so you are not tempted to go with the wrong people & put yourself in compromising situations. Do not feel that you are strong enought to say "No" around people you've said 'yes' to before. Have your excuses to not go, do not tempt yourself. Do you live at home? You can do this. It will be hard at your age because so many young kids are involved with drinking & drugs...but so many aren't you must find them. There is so much to do in life, to experience to enjoy...all sober. I have been married 30 years my husband & I don't drink and life has truly been a wonderful gift & blessing. There have been challenges..life is full of them. But having the strength to deal with the trials and learn for them, and help others is what life is all about! You have to learn to deal with life and and problems in a wholesome, healthy way.
I know you have many people who love you so much & would respect you for letting them know the desire you have to clean up your life. They are waiting for you to come to them. You are brave, a a very special person. Stay determined! Please come back often to these boards. We are here for you.
I am on day #3 and feel like I am going to break. Things aren't going well at all. I can't eat. Can't sleep for more than an hour straight. I am getting very irritable and grumpy. Feeling very sick and streesed out. And the person who was giving the most support said some things that really hurt my feelings last night and made me regret ever telling him and letting him into my problems. And I feel like I am totally losing my mind. I just feel so bad. This is SO hard. I really want come clean but don't know if I can.
Thank you guys for your support.
Last edited by SpasticMonkey; 09-25-2005 at 02:21 PM.