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Old 10-26-2005, 04:23 AM   #1
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goddessgrl65 HB User
with gratitude..off suboxone..

Ive been coming here for almost 2 years..and id like to thank all the people who helped me thru some very tough times..You know who you are!!
The longest taper known to man..LOL..well-i was on suboxone maitainence..
I stand by suboxone treatment..long/short term..whatever YOU personally need..and want to let you all know..that are fearful of tapering or coming off..
low/slow is the way to go..unless you are doing the quick detox.
I now have been off suboxone for 6 days..and besides a bad cold..im ok.
the benzos helped the first couple days and after that..im feeling more alert/and in a much happier state of mind..it was depressing me at the end.
Good luck everyone!
peace/recovery
ggrl

 
Old 10-26-2005, 07:08 AM   #2
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agentalias HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

Oh my wonderful stars....its me over....Congratulations !!! I"m so proud of you to say the least! I've been following your tirals and tribulations since you first started posted under another alias. I know how hard it can be to come off it and I am really proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

You may still feel blahish, but that will soon go away. I've been waiting for this day for you to come. No, if we can only get our PMS to go away now......

Good luck and again I"m so proud of you. I know its no small effort to taper off Sub. Take care.

Last edited by agentalias; 10-26-2005 at 07:12 AM. Reason: typo

 
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Old 10-26-2005, 01:38 PM   #3
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2bclean HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

ggrl,
I just wanted to say congrats! It has been more than seven months since I stopped the suboxone ... can you believe it! I am so grateful to be free and clean today. The time has flown by. Stick to your guns girlfriend! It is so worth it. I have taken off most of the weight I put on, my eating and sleeping is almost normal ... everything is so much better. It was a good 30 days before I felt the wd's were really over, and months before I felt craving free, but I did change and it is truly behind me. I hurt my back at the gym a few weeks ago yet managed on tylenol, heat patches and rest. Can you believe it?!?

I remember when I was on this board every day for support. Now I check it once in a while to 'keep it green.' I also tell people to check it out that are trying to be opiate free. You and others here got me through the worst of it.
I thank you. I actually enjoyed the summer season and though I am not ready for winter I have a feeling I will be able to make the most of it. I will probably be on the boards more as cold weather makes being inside more desireable.

There is hope today and I am happier than I could have imagined being while on the sub. It had its place but life is sure better without it. I am confident that I am not unique and your experience will be similar to mine... all in good ways!

Take Care!
L

 
Old 10-26-2005, 02:39 PM   #4
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kindaunwell HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

CONGRATS, Ggrl.!!!!!!

What a nice Pleasure to read that Last Post of Yours.!!!

"YOU HAVE DONE IT.!!!!!!

I admire your "Grit and Determination".! I am sure there have been Times when you struggled, and came close to "giving in", and going Back to the Drugs.

--- BUT YOU DIDN'T.!!!! YOU STAYED TRUE and STRONG.!!! --- Even thru the relaspes.!
Thats sooo Cool...

Are you this "self-controlled" in the other aspects of your Life.???

And during all that SUB Time, You have Helped soo many People here, with your helpfull Knowledge and Understanding of THEIR Drug Problems (While Enduring Your Own.!). --- And Now, You have Shown to everyone here, that "IT" can be accomplished. That "IT" can be Done. That there is HOPE for ALL of US to Stop the Drug Cycle, just from watching how you did it, especially towards the END.! THANKS.....

"I am SOOO Happy for You", Ggrl.....

And so now, even I will say it, -- "Goddess Bless Ya".!!!

KINDA-UNWELL...

 
Old 10-26-2005, 04:21 PM   #5
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keepongrowing HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

GoddessGirl:

YOU ROCK!!! You are such an inspiration to others. I have read your posts for a long time now (I went back and read all the old archived threads too...I know, I need to get a life.) You seem like you are also THE strength in your family, taking care of so many hurtin' people. I hope you have people in your life who give you love, respect, warmth, caring, all the things you give to others on this board. I would hate to think that you do all this giving and don't get it back (not that you do it for the glory, just that good people deserve good.)

I have a quick question for you about NC, I am your sister in herbal energy, but I will start a seperate thread....this one in all about YOU! Please stay around the board. It is sooooo important that people like you stay around and continue to share your wisdom, insight, love etc.

Bye

 
Old 10-26-2005, 04:33 PM   #6
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Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

Ggrl, Ohhhhhhhh sweetie, now it is my turn to congratulate you!!!!!
I am soooo happy for you! You have done it!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry i have been slacking a little bit and have not posted to you these last few days! I totally laid my sob story of a life on you, while you were kind enough to listen while you were going through your own trials and tribulations and then i kinda-sorta slacked off on ya! SORRY!!!!!
Can you ever forgive me????? lol

Again, I am so very happy for you and i am sooooooo very happy to have a friend like you who will listen to my ramblings!

ROCK-ON.......
VG

 
Old 10-26-2005, 05:48 PM   #7
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goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

i am so blown away.You guys are so kind....being on this board was a big part of my recovery.
This board has been a blessing to my life.
Goddess Bless us everyone!!!
peace..and love..
ggrl

Last edited by goddessgrl65; 10-27-2005 at 04:27 AM.

 
Old 10-27-2005, 06:21 AM   #8
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Twinlynn HB User
Talking Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

Ahhhhhhh. Goddessgirl!! My Sistah!!!

Your post blasted me back onto the board (not to mention hearing from the elusive, (but much-loved) Kinda... and Ellenny.... and Valleygrl, Philster, Agent, etc.!!!!) (I've been home with a badly-gashed foot--and--this morning woke up with a sore throat, to boot!!!) But I've been off these boards too long.....and miss ya guys so much.

Goddess, you know I dreamed of reading a post like this from you. Is there anyone who deserves this happiness as much as you?! You--who has wrapped your goddess wings around so many suffering posters on this board and given them the strength (and the cheer) to keep going.

And, now it is YOUR time to celebrate. You know there may still be the ups and the downs--'cause that's just the way life is! But you have such a solid foundation now to build from--and so many friends to reinforce it with their love. You've MADE it!

You truly have been a "Goddess" to this Board. And, now we move on to the place where we will all be here supporting YOU! Any "dips"--and we'll lift you right back up to the "rises." And when we get all your up-coming posts of success--we'll be here to cheer with you. And, just think of all the posters-to-come who will be so lifted up by your journey!

You are such a good and kind soul, Godess!

(Don't want to "commandeer" this post--which is YOURS! But just want to say to friends that I'm doing just wonderfully on the Sub. It's lifted the depression that neither those opiates like oxys or Vics (or even my very, very helpful antidepressants) could fully get rid of. It is totally bizarre and wonderful being so "un-depressed!!! And NOT HIGH in any way!!! I had forgotten what life was like years ago, before clinical depression set in.

But, hearing stories like yours, and others, Goddess, gives me hope that I will eventually be able to slowly come off the Sub--and still feel as good! (I'd still take my antidepressants, of course.)

So--hooray for you, Goddess! You're the brightest light ifn the sky!

love ya, Lynn xxxx

PS Hey, KINDA!! PLEASE check in!!! xxx

 
Old 10-28-2005, 03:53 AM   #9
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goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

Hi guys..
I wrote a long syrupy post to you all..but then i felt.."kinda goofy"..but honestly..im in tears..right now..so ill try..to explain further.

Its day...7???Yes..one week ..no sub..and i haven't felt really bad..until yesterday.Combo..upper resp..and pure exhaustion..im not sure what specifically these symptoms are from..but really..how can i complain???
Easily!!!LOL>>>naaaah..i promised i would be the pillar of jello i truly am!!!
Couple of nightmares..emotions seem more balanced..off the sub..cos of the below the radar doses i was on..
More bothersome symptom..chills.tiredness..
Im telling ya'll...we can do this...(dr.phil)..haha
Thanks to all my awesome pals..coming back to say hi..and Vally..(lady its cool)..come on..now!!We are here to talk..right??
ggrl

 
Old 10-28-2005, 05:24 AM   #10
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Twinlynn HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

G'day, Goddess!

Just want you to know that there is a killer cold going around--and I've got it, It's right in my upper respiratory area and I feel lousy. Feverish, chills (amazing, isn't it, how you can have both fever and chills simultaneously??!!), sore throat, slight nausea, crampy stomach, nose all blocked up. You name it! :-)

So--it's just possible that some of your symptoms are part of a fluish cold going around, and you're feeling both a small withdrawal--PLUS a bad cold.

I love that expression "pillar of jello"--it describes just how I feel sometimes. :-) It's just so normal to feel "up and down".

And, because I feel so "yuck" today, and am crawling back to bed right now, I am not posting a longer letter. But had to pop in and cheer you along.

love ya, Lynn xx :-)

PS Don't forget that when you've got a cold, flu, etc, it can make you feel VERY "down". So, hang on and just "go" with the symptoms--and don't get anxious about the Sub. xx

 
Old 10-28-2005, 05:39 AM   #11
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BeginAgain HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

Hi goddess,
Right there with ya. I've been battling this upper respiratory, stomach, tired, achey, feverish, cold, blah for over a week now. I've got the post acute withdrawl stuff thrown in for good measure...some days it's all I can do to drag on. I had about 3 good days and wham...here I am. I guess this too shall pass..that's what I keep telling myself. It's hard because it reminds me of withdrawl just like I had last month even though I know that's not what it is now. It makes me think of that. I just wanna sleep until it's gone. No such luck.

Why was I not sick the entire year I was eating handful after handful of hydrocodone? Anyone else have that experience on opiates? I swear I didn't even have a cold for over a year. Now it seems like I can't get well.

Anyway..just wanted you to know you're not alone. I can totally relate to the jello analogy. I feel so dang weepy. My hubby came home last night and said "how are you?" Well...I don't think he really wanted to know as I launched into a tirade about how awful I feel and how sick of feeling sick I am and I just don't have anything to offer anyone, and blah, blah....etc.. LOL I can laugh now...it wasn't funny last night.

I guess this is just part of it. I can't wait to feel "normal" and "healthy" (whatever that is) again on a consistent basis.

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can do this!!

 
Old 10-28-2005, 05:55 AM   #12
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Best Friend HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

Goddess.........hugs and much love from your buddy! Lynn said it all! You are simply the BEST!

PS. KINDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another old buddy! U have been missed!!!! (And NEVER forgotten!)

Alice

 
Old 10-28-2005, 10:29 PM   #13
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Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

Oh Ggrl!! Hold on! This lousy cold/flu will soon pass! What lousy timing ...
such similar symptoms as withdrawal, wouldn't ya know. Oh, honey, be gentle and take loving care of yourself as you would a sick friend. Sleep when you're tired and eat when you're hungry (chicken soup, if you can get it, of course!)
Just give yourself permission to feel lousy! But, please... allow yourself a little smile now and then as you realize what a HUGE goal you have reached! A little inner smile at least until you feel well enough to grin and celebrate in style.
Congratulations!!!! I'm hoping that it will continue to get better and better for you and all of us on this road of recovery.
Lynnie ... You too! Hope your laying low, watching some good old movies and getting your Jewish penicillin from Zabars! So glad to hear you are living life free of our disabling depressions. I'm still working on it. Ya know, in a way the low dose ultram I take works on my depression (without feeling high) better than most of the AD's! Not completely, but there is a little lift from it. Too much going on right now to make a medication switch just now, (possibly to cymbalta?). I'm in the process of transfering my b/c followup care to Sloan Kettering right now, and they have me taking a zillion tests and seeing a slew of THEIR specialists. At the time of my diagnosis, Sloan didn't take my insurance, but now they do, (I'm ecstatic!) ) so I'm very busy with that! Please send my love and warmest best to sweet and elegant Alice for me.
Anyway, back to congrats and gratitude for finding and seeing some of my old friends again!
So proud of you Ggrl!!!!!!
Love and hugs to all!
Ellen

 
Old 10-29-2005, 05:16 AM   #14
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KIMBEE HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

GGRL, I am so so very happy and proud for you! This is wonderful news. I hardley ever read the boards any more, but this gives me such hope. I too have been on sub for over two years now and am still at 4 mgs I want to come off so bad but terrified that the depression will really put me down I have started Wellbutrin and it has helped a litlle. Well actually a lot! Did you do the NC? I am thinking that that might help to do this more easy. Knowing that I would have the energy. You sound really good I just cant tell you how much your posts have helped me in the past. You were one of those who had started the sub when I did, so if you can do this, I surely can. Again. Congrats, YOU deserve it!!!!!!!!

 
Old 10-29-2005, 05:25 AM   #15
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goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: with gratitude..off suboxone..

M'Ladies.i love you guys soo much..Im very winded today..got my anti-biotics..AAAh..ya know..whenever ive kicked a drug..i always get sick..
But like Begin..i was amazed how well i felt..no colds/flus..but..the opiates block many of those symptoms..ive also ended up in the ER..on a nebulizer w/ pneumonia..not knowing how ill i really was.
So..its typical to get ill-after coming off..
Begin???How are you today??You are minus-hydros now..did you Dr. Phil yesterday???Moms on vikes???
I hate being sick..baaaa..humbug..
much love to you..
TWINKIES>>>>My michpuchen...thanks girls..u know i love ya so..i hope you are feeling a lil better today..this cold is really hurtin!
Ellen..Honey..im sorry to hear about all your health issues..i heard about cymbalta..helps w/ depression and pain according to my doctor..we were thinking of trying it..Im glad Sloan..is covering the care now..
Its so wonderful to have us all in one place again..
Lets try to stay in touch..even a once a week thread to keep on top of each others progress/concerns etc..
you are wonderful friends..im blessed.
ggrl

Last edited by goddessgrl65; 10-29-2005 at 05:30 AM.

 
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