Hope everyone had a great and happy halloween. Went to a meeting tonight and guess what. The person who picked our open discussion topic picked exactly what many us need to hear/talk about - Relationships (man/woman) stuff.
I have no desire to have a relationship at this point in my recovery and I have always heard in the 12 step program that they suggest a year. How realistic is that???
But what I came away from the meeting with (from listening to an oldtimer) was it's not the length of time that matters, it's if you've learned how to handle relationships differently and don't do the same ole crap that gets you in trouble.
I know I still have much more time to work on me and will take it one day at a time. I tend to jump in relationships so not to be alone. But now I'm ready to be ok with being alone first. Yeah!!! That's progress.
For those of you who know me, know that I ended an 8 year relationship just 75 days ago when I walked (ran) away to get clean. My ex is still using and becoming absolutely insane from things I hear. I loved him and still do, but that part of my life is over forever.
And young woman shared tonight her pain of ending her relationship last night with a young man whom she had met in the recovery program due to the fact he has gone back out using. She had a choice to make - him or recovery. She knew she couldn't continue the relationship and stay clean. I felt every bit of her pain as many of us sat and cried with her as she shared.
I would like opinions/views from anyone who wishes to share. My question is not when or how long to wait. But the question for me is more related to having a relationship with someone in the program (related to that persons clean time, etc) vs relationship with someone one who is not addict or alcoholic. And if you choose to date a non addict/alcoholic, when do you break the news to them about being a recovering addict/alcoholic?
Hope you all have a great Tuesday.