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Old 11-29-2005, 10:12 AM   #1
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Chaddyfriend HB User
Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

Hey guys i post alot on the chronic pain boards but thought i needed to post here for this one. Let me know what you guys think. And to add a little scandal to this, I am a recovering compulsive gambler, i am absitinent over a year now and dont ever even have compulsions any more, but that is why i am scared aobut my meds. Here is a little history about me.

I am a 19 year old guy who suffers from post heperatic nueralgia as well as hemi-paresis on my right side that is unrelated to the PHN. I take 100mg of MS Contin 2x daily, once morning once night. I also take 10-15mg of oxycodone as needed for BT pain. My Dr's have told me that my PHN is very extensive and abnormal and could last years or never go away in my case and it is something that i will just have to life with. I have a great PCP who is very compassionate and prescribes me my meds without going to a pm, at least for now, and she has been for like 3 months. Anywayz...

I am very concerned about an oppiate addiction. I am sure i am already addicted, however, i have never ever ever abused my meds. I have never self medicated or taken more than prescribed. Maybe u guys can remember my post about going to the ER cuz my DR wrote on the bottle of my BT meds the wrong directions and doesed me too low, but rather than break the rules and feel better, i decided to stay honest to her and myself and jsut go to the ER, after trying for hours to get a message to her about the mistake. My point is that i am diligently following my dose instructions and am not breakin my contract. But i am scared to death about a life crippling addiction to my meds. I already have a high tolerance because i was in the hospital before my shingles with 2 bad bad kidney stones that required actaul surgery to remove, and i was on one of the push button dilauded things for 2 weeks. Now i ahve a very high dose of meds and i am scared.

I am scared cuz i am sooo young and if i have this for a long long time, like years or my life my tolerance is just going to go up and up. I cannot take nerve blokers because of my paresis and i ahve tried the lido patches and 2 topical cremes. My pain level is just great right now with the meds i am on. My Dr. i just knocking my pain down.

I am just scared of when i have stop. I am scared of the physical pain and the mental pain. I got a taste of withdrawles when i had a two day period that my doc messed up, and it hurt bad. Was more miserable than my shingles. I know they have clinics and stuff that can help you, but then i will be labled an addict.

I am already labled and addict in my family when all my family found out what i was taking. "morphine!? I can believe you are taking that? I dont want you in my house if you are going to be a drug addict!". How do you think that feels to a 19 year old who ahs never been in trouble a day in my life? I go to church twice a week and was on the honor roll in highschool, and i even graduated highschool with a two year college degree, and AA of arts.

I dunno, i am just scared of what is too come and what i have to face. I have been crying alot and i am really just getting close to the edge. My girlfriend is very supportive, but even she doesnt like to meds i am on and is scared. I just want to know what my fellow cpr's think and if any of you have the same concerns or maybe have some hope to offer, i could really really use it. thanks alot for your guys's time.
__________________
I am thankful for every second of every day that I am pain free.

~chadd
__________________
I am thankful for every second of every day that I am pain free.

~chadd

 
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Old 11-29-2005, 11:02 AM   #2
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buzzer09 HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

Chad,

I have no advice for you whatsoever. I do not know anything about your medical situation so I could not advise at all. Let me just say this, that is one hell of a dose of meds your on. Maybe you should reconsider not seeing a pain mang clinic. That seems like it might be way over a regular doctors ability to prescribe pain meds. God your doing all that and school how in the heck do you maintain? How long have you been on such a high dose, can you explain more about your medical problems. I cannot imagine the dose that your on? I wish I had more to offer I am trying to taper off some meds myself. But I will tell you there are some great people on here.

Dale

 
Old 11-29-2005, 04:10 PM   #3
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Chaddyfriend HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

actually my primary scripted me this dose, i have however worked my way up to it, from my kidney stones and all the pain meds i was on for those, and now with the post herpatic nueralgia form shingels, i have been working to this dose for months. And i have tried every non narcotic thing to try and help me and this is my last resort. It is working, but as u can read i am scared about addiction...
__________________
I am thankful for every second of every day that I am pain free.

~chadd

 
Old 11-29-2005, 09:30 PM   #4
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hoapfloats HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

Hi Chaddyfriend and welcome, I have ssen your posts on the pain managment board. That is a very hefty dose! I am addicted to vikes and honestly it started 3 yrs ago when I had a bulging disk in my back due to car accident and my primary started perscribing me vikes at 22 yrs old.Then after taking them for so long I got addicted and I feel so much better being off the pain meds. Yes I still suffer from back pain but there are healthier things for me to do for my pain, and for me narcotic pain meds only mask the problem and gave me another problem called addiction. So I guess my advise is do what feel best in your heart, I understand you suffer from pain but does such a huge dose of narcotics have to be the answer? Life is far too short and you are still so young, I am 25 and so much happier being off the narcotics. Good Luck and I am here if you need anything, I will pray that you find your way into a healthy and happy life, you deserve it.

Kelley

 
Old 11-30-2005, 04:31 AM   #5
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valleygurl HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

Chadd,

Although you have definately came to the right place for wonderful advice, there is no doubt that you will get several different opinions on the subject.

I, too, am a chronic pain sufferer so i know first hand the struggles you are going through right now, both mentally and physically. Even though i know the nightmare and struggles of addiction, i am also passionate about people (no matter what their age is) who suffer with chronic pain being able to live a life of quality as pain free as possible even if that means having to take narcotics without being "labeled" or frowned upon.

I do believe in alternative therapies and techniques for pain management. It is wonderful if a chronic pain sufferer can gain relief using other alternatives without the use of narcotics, unfortunately for some, narcotics is the only answer for relief.

Yes, i agree, you are on a very high dose of medications. It would be ideal if you could possibly wean down on the meds a little providing your pain is still controlled and you can still live a life of quality everyday. I also believe that you seem to be very knowledgeable and in control of your condition and the pain meds you are currently on. You are one step ahead because you are aware of the possibility of addiction. You definately did the right thing when you went to the ER about the mistake with the doseage of your meds. I'll tell ya, addiction can rear it's ugly head that very first time a person decides to over medicate.

So i guess to sum up my OPINION, If you can wean comfortably (without suffering from debilitating pain) down a bit on your meds, go for it. If you need these meds to be able to live a good quality of life while suffering from your illness, then take them. No one should have to be debilitated and bed ridden because of pain when there is help to control it. Just be sure to take your meds as prescribed and to NEVER over medicate. When and if your chronic pain subsides then i am sure your prescribing doctor will help you to slowly wean off the meds. Just be sure to stay educated, know the difference between addiction and tolerance.

Just be careful and you will be fine. Really, you didnt ask to be stricken with these chronic pain issues and you shouldnt have to suffer nor should certain people "label" you just because you need medication. I know from experience that alot of people who havent suffered from chronic pain that requires medication just dont understand.

I wish you well and i will pray for the best for you,
Valley

 
Old 11-30-2005, 07:47 PM   #6
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sk777 HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

Chadd,

Although you've had some addiction issues in the past, and I for one get addicted to lots of things easily, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll get "addicted" to painkillers. Physically dependent, oh yes, but that's not the same thing.

You know what addicted is, you probably hid your gambling, lied to people about it, it probably affected school and/or work, relationships... I think you have to honestly ask yourself if you think you are an addict or just physically dependent. The Narcotics Anonymous site has a questionnaire, I'm sure other places do as well.

 
Old 11-30-2005, 10:13 PM   #7
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Chaddyfriend HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

i have got to stay, i just titrated up to this dose and have been for months. i had been crying in pain for 3 months untill i got to this dose. no my pain is under control and i am at like a 3-4 constantly now, which is down for a 7-8 constantly. i ahve tried all other modalities availiable to me and this is where i am at. i agree, a lower dose would be better but between my tolerance and level of pain it is neccessary. I KNOW that i need these meds now, and i am not mentally dependent, my concern is when i try and get off of these, which will be at least some years from now at best, that i wont want to get off and then being addicted. that is my fear. Im doing good now and afterm onths of severe pain i am gettin relief. trying non-narcotic modalities was a very very painful trial cuz i wasnt gettin relief from them. I hve definatily paid my dues to get where i am. I didnt just walk in like 2 months ago and ask for 100mg of ms contin 2x day. i do need what i ma tkaing. and foro nce it is working. any more adivce would be appreciated. valley gurl, thank you for the advice, it is priceless.
__________________
I am thankful for every second of every day that I am pain free.

~chadd

 
Old 11-30-2005, 10:18 PM   #8
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Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

I tend to agree with sk777, about being physically dependent versus an addict. And agree with you doing some research on Narcotics Anonymous information.

Sorry to hear about family comments. The general public are so afraid of addiction and most can only relate to what they hear on TV, through some friend or acquaintance.....any honest have no clue. For the one's willing to learn great, the others I just have to let go of, so I don't choke them to death. Just kidding. But I do know the frustration with family/friends who don't know or want to know anything about my addiction/recovery.

Hope you have a good day. Keep us posted.

 
Old 12-01-2005, 06:00 AM   #9
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BeginAgain HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

Hi Chaddy. My suggestion on this would be to remain conscious of the possibility since you have had addiction issues in the past - even if it wasn't drug realted we can certainly transfer our addictions from one thing to another. Happens all the time even without realizing that's what we are doing. You certainly have to do what you have to do to function without pain or atleast have it tolerable so you can live a fairly satisfying life. But if you are conscious of the possibility and keep your fears in check atleast you'll have a fighting chance. For me - ignoring or not accepting the fact that I was addicted was far worse than if I had faced it head on with the knowledge it was a good possibility based on my history & personality.

The bottom line is you can't cross this bridge until you get to it. Obsessively worrying about it now can't do you any good because you must take your meds to control your very legitimate pain. So if you stay conscious it's a possiblity and the time does ever come you'll hopefully be aware of it and can take whatever steps necessary to deal with it then. Don't get too far out there. Like I've said to others we can't change the past and we can't predict the future - so don't try. Staying in today is the only way I can deal with life and hope to enjoy it a little.

 
Old 12-01-2005, 05:23 PM   #10
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Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

I am an ex opiat addict, methadone, herion, oxys, ect.... I am clean almost four years now but in your situation it is so hard. I know this sounds crazy but i had a c section and had to have pain meds and it scared me a little because i thought about the possibility of me one day needing pain meds for some kind of accident or back injury and the fact that I would totally become addicted all over again. There is no way you can't become addicted. That is scary. You are young and that is crazy that your family is acting that way toward to. What are you supposed to do? Live in pain every day? No! What other choice do you have except to try and stay on as little amount as possible?

 
Old 12-01-2005, 10:34 PM   #11
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Chaddyfriend HB User
Re: Addiction to oppiates, I am scared. Anyone else? Need advice!!!

man u guys, i really really appreciate the compassion i ahve found on this board. It is like being in one of my GA meetings. I still go to GA twice a week, just to keep things in check. I have been abstinent for over a year now, and i can honestly form my heart say i ahvnt even had na urge in about 6 months. LOL, probably cuz i am always in pain and cant think about it. I really really really like this addiciton board, it is very comforting on here. I will be back!
__________________
I am thankful for every second of every day that I am pain free.

~chadd

 
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