I have finally hit the bottom and am going to a clinic next week, if I can make it that far. Need to hear from anyone who is or has gone to Meth clinic for hydro' addiction. I am terrified. Need some comforting words. Money is gone, and just about everything else that truly matters. Thank you.
ps: new here.
Well we all want to welcome you, and I'll start by saying you just took the next biggest step in your recovery, as everyone here is going through the same things, or is in recovery, and is only here to support, and guide you. You will find no judgements here.
I have been through the meth clinic, as well as I know people that have gone through it, and my experience was they gave me an apt, then on that day they took all my info, and be honest with them as they are on your side to help you. They will drug test you, and then they tell you to come back everyday at a certain time, or between this time and that time. At this point your get your daily medicine. You know longer have to worry about getting any more drugs, as the step you have taken is the best one to get off of opiates in my opinon. You no longer will have to deal with getting dope sick, just make sure that you get there everyday. They will propbably insist on meetings as well, and then you will probably get Sunday as a take home dose, they might insist on a lock box for you to leave the clinic with the take home med, and they will insist on you bring the bottle back in. As long as you follow the rules, you are good to go, and do what they tell you as they do know what they are talking about. If your ready to stop, they are ready to help you. Good luck and keep us posted.
I just want to begin by congratulating you on making that 1rst BIG step on the road to recovery and a new life!!Just you making the phone call and appointment is a big deal.I still remember when I went to call to get my appointment I actually hung up when they answered about 3 different times.I think it was the fear of the unknown.I realize now that my fear was totally unfounded and that making and keeping that appointment turned out to be the BEST thing to happen to me.I also had a major Hydro habit that had turned into a snorting Oxy's and Morphine habit and a Fentanyl sucker habit.There at the end I was doing anything I could to just keep off the sickness.I had gotten to the point that I rarely got high anymore.I had tried just about everything else without success.Well that was 2 years ago next month that I went to the clinic and started on my road to recovery.I will admit the day I went I was nervous,That fear of the unknown again.When I got to the clinic the people were really nice to me.I paid my money 1rst then filled out a bunch of paperwork,Then the nurse did my vital signs,bloodwork and asked me some questions.Oh yeah she got a urine sample too.Then I had to go back in the waiting room while I waited to see the doctor and watched some films on MMT,about 30-45mins later I saw the doctor he did a basic physical on me and asked more questions.I then went back to the waiting room where they called me to the dosing window at which point they gave me 20mgs of a 30mg starting dose(this varies but is never over 40mg the 1rst day)They then had me wait and watch another film for 45mins-1hour to see how I was gonna react to the 1rst part of the dose then gave me my second half.Then I got to go home.This all took about 4-5 hours total.The next day was alot better as all I had to do was see the doctor and get dosed.
Like I said it was WORTH it for me!!!When I started MMT I was broke,jobless almost rideless(what I had didnt run good)And was about to lose my family.I now work full time REMOVEDI just bought a new Chevy Malibu,almost always have money in my pocket for extra stuff and I have rebuilt the relationships with my family I almost lost.I have finally re-earned the right to be called Mom,Wife,Daughter and Friend again.It has taken alot of commitment and lots of work,but I have managed to stay clean all this time and have worked my way up to where this past year I only have to go to the clinic every 2 weeks,So it really doesnt interfere with my life.I wake up take my hormone pill and my methadone dose and go about my bussiness for the day..I remember when it really hit me what I had accomplished,I was at the gas station and it was a HOT day and I saw an ex-pill buddy and she stopped me and asked if I knew where anything was.She was all sweaty and you could tell she had been out looking for awhile.Well it was then I thought to myself THANK GOD that wasnt me anymore!!!And as of next week THANK GOD it WONT be you!!This is a program that will work if you want it to....I wish you all the luck in the world and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.I will keep an eye on this thread to see how you are doing..Please keep us posted as you go through this and if you have any questions AT ALL please ask and I will try to answer them the best I can.....
Hugs to you,
Last edited by moderator2; 01-21-2006 at 06:35 AM.
Reason: please read and follow the posting rules
Its sounds like there was either one of two possible problems with your fiance and the MMT program.1.)he wasnt on the right dose therefore the full affects of the methadone werent being utilized or 2.)he wasnt serious about his recovery.I am leaning towards #2 myself because there are WAY more people that this has helped than its hurt!I also know though that people who are "dipping" or taking more than their regular dose usually arent on a high enough dose to block the cravings and the euphoric effect.Like me I know for a FACT that I am not gonna get anything out of using except a "dirty"u/a and losing my takehomes which in turn cause alot of problems,So what would be the point?!?!?I think your fiance and you need to stop blaming the MMT program and put the blame where it belongs which is squarely on his shoulders..Maybe I am wrong but after 2 years on the program and personally seeing what good it can do for people who want to work the program I doubt I am...
Thank all of you so much for being so kind as to answer my plea!!!
In answer to the last post, I am addicted to hydro' and clonazepam. Now the latter is such a horrid addiction, I never would have believed it would come to this. The WD's from that benzo is like heroin WD for me. God, I live in fear of being sick all the time, well, at least 2 or 3 times a month I have to go through WD from my two drugs, outta' money and just so confused.
Oh, get this. I was in a local hospital just last August, a mere 7 days for detox from hydro'. Of course 7 days was no good for me. Not one single staff member even mentioned Methadone Clinic to me. I never knew this could help me. I had gotten so desparate at times, I even thought of ending my life---just think--what if I had???? And all this time a Meth' Clinic would help me--makes me kind of disapointed at the hospital staff for the very substance abuse counselor I had-she went to Meth' Clinic!!! Wonder why she never said anything?? Just think of how many people have died for this reason and did not know about the Clinic?? I bet it would make us all cry, it would me. I feel more people should know about this help.
Oh, they told me in the hosp' that I could end up in a rest home if I continued using. I have RSD/CRPS, in a wheelchair--now that remark really did make me afraid.
I, like most of you have lost the respect of my family, I do not respect myself, I look down on myself for this weakness and my family thinks it is something kind of easy and I should be able to do this all by myself. I have tried. Did not last long, cannot feel right, cannot get out of bed. It will be so wonderful NOT to have to chase a dealer trying to get my meds!!!!!!!! WEEEEE! I hope I do ok. I am not a religious person, but I do welcome the prayer from the post!! Between being crippled and an addict I have had to let my brother raise my son. He will be 16 in Mar. I am very open with him, he has seen what it has done and is doing to me. I do hope he learns from me NOT to even try it the first time-then he will not know what he is missing. After that wonderful feeling-you do not want to come back to reality and then next thing ya know--you cannot get a decent high anymore-talk about Hell on earth. Addiction is.
I appreciate all of you so much, you do not know how good this makes me feel that you are here--even if it is on a PC screen!
I cannot imagine buying food, forgot what that is like. Been letting the church deliver on Monday and they have a little bag of food and somehow I get enough food to keep me going. guess someone loves me, huh?----J
That stinks that they never thought to tell you about the meth clinic, i really feel bad for you, but the bottom line is that your going, you have made that choice and that is a big one, Look down the road, when you actually have money to go and buy your son a stero system for his first car that you just bought him, think about being able to christmas shoppee and not from money that you pawned something for, money that you actually have now, because you deceided to take control over your life, and for that I congradualate you, that is the best decision you will every make,and the second one is to be total honest with your self and others, this forum is the most supportive, non-judgemental, loving forum you will ever encounter, so with this being said, I really comend you for taking control over your life, and post when you are feeling great, and when your not. We are all here no matter what!
Good luck with the methadone clinic! I am so happy for you to have taken this HUGE step toward recovery. You will be so much happier when your addiction is under control! Let us know how it goes and keep posting... As Sal said, it DOES work. I've been using the board since October and it has been a life saver for me! Truly.
Hey you guys, I am kind of afraid they will turn me away or tell me I am not severe enough, the reason I feel this way is cause I am desparate and there have been docs who turned me away ( a total of 5 since 01) because I have too many "issues" so to speak.
Do they ever turn anyone away????? I am going tomorrow morning, the clinic in the next largest city is the one we have to go to first----will take an hour to get there. So, wish me luck, that they will not turn me away--my biggest fear. Funny, huh, seems like my big fear would be no more drugs--nope---i have gone as far as I can go, emotionally, physically, financially--cannot live like this anymore.
Thank you all of you for your support. Will they treat me any different because I am crippled and in a wheelchair and have a disease? THat worries me. Getting people to deliver drugs has been very costly over the past few years.----J
If a doctor is going to turn you away because you have to many problems, what the heck are they doing in the field anyways. They shouldn't even be in the field if they are going to be choosey. That is messed up..... big time.
Number 1 - There are laws in place that IF they even think about mistreating you because your in a wheelchair, they would be slapped so hard with a lawsuit that isn't even funny. I have never heard of them turning away anybody, so don't let that stop you from obtaining the help your requiring now in your life, The one that is here is town, has every disablity, color, nationality, income level, and "Issues". I have see it all come through that door.
Keep this in mind, just because your in a wheelchair DOES NOT mean you should be treated any better or any worse than someone who isn't in a wheelchair. If you are you know what you need to do. Just because your in a wheelchair does not mean your problems with drugs and/or alcohol are any less than someone who isn't in a wheelchair, so don't let that stand in your way.
I will say a prayer for you tomorrow morning, and that will be for the constant support, and for peace within your heart so when you go you will truly be honest with these people, as they are there for YOU, and it does work if you let it, so be honest, be strong, be dedicated not only to the program, but mainly to yourself, as you deserve it.!
Last edited by sal946; 01-23-2006 at 03:34 PM.
Reason: forgot to add something.
Thank you so much Sal, guess you can hear the fear, huh?
I did some research on the net about docs turning me away, 5 have since 01. well i thought it was me, my fault they did not want me for a patient--I would not even say the word "drug" so they could not use that as an excuse. So here is what I found: In Canada and the US more and more Doctors are doing what is called " Sort and Reject", not quiite ethical-but legal. If a patient has tooo many issues and that particular Doc does not want a patients with too many problems. This is true. Your first appointment is not really an appointment like you think. It is actually a "patient interview" That is when your in the waiting room filling out the 50 questions regarding all aspects of your health. This is real and it is happening in America. The last one, I was in tears, looking for a family physician even they said NO, they cannot help me. I would mention what if I were sick and needed admittance to the hospital and the smart remark I would hear " well, you just call ER and go to the hospital", I have been through the medical ringer, let me tell you. I have lost most of my respect for the medical community because of how they treat us all and in the name of "the right thing to do", taking the "Hypocratic Oath" is NOT a requirement and docs are not held to it anyway. I am bitter at the docs in my area that handed me back my files--who wouldn't be?
Anyway, I just pray they do not tell me they cannot help me---I have heard that line one too many times over the past 7 months. Reaching out for help and all I got was 7 days in a psych' ward-had to lie about suicidal tendency to even get admitted!!!! That is the absoloute truth. I am in North Carolina, maybe it is the ignorace of the south--who knows.
THank you soo much Sal for writing to me. If I am ok in the morning I will get oline and let you know how It went ---I really appreciate the posts from all who have taken the time for me and my silly fears and questions! lo!
Guess we all have them when it comes time to stop running. I am tired, dope sick and broke. Wish me luck for Tuesday!!----J
I live next door to you in South Carolina, and I know what your talking about, and I told you I would pray for you, and believe it or not I have a strong connection with him upstairs, so your good to go, I have already spoke with him on your behalf, and your in like gold. Trust me, it will be fine. I am not telling you this to just make you not worry, I am telling you this because it is true. Do not worry, it will be fine, they can't turn you away. You just have to trust me on this one. it will be fine, and so will you, and you won't be pewking and everything like that, they will take care of all that for you. you are going to be amazed. This is what happens when you going in the clinic for the first time. They will take you back, and take your history, and they they will ask you what your drugs are that you take, this is prescription, and non-prescription, as well. So be honest as they are there for you. They will drug test you to check so that is why I am telling you to be up front. The doctor is going to be there to as well, to do your T\R\P and your weight, and all that kind of stuff. this whole proccess will take about 4 hours, but it goes fast, you will get a dose tomorrow, so my advice, is be cool, and don't stress out, these people are on your side, and trust me, it will be fine. I know.
I already said my prayers for you for tomorrow and I will say one for you tomorrow morning, so please let me know how it all goes tomorrow, and take care of yourself. Peace
Wow so tommorow is the big day.Bless your heart I know you are bound to be a nervous wreck.Well that much was obvious from your last post.Hun I dont think you have ANYTHING to worry about for tommorow.I cant see them turning you away for any reason.Just be upfront and honest with them about what you are taking,How much and how often.Dont worry that they are gonna think bad of you because you tell them you had a 15+pill a day habit.They have heard it all and their job isnt to judge but to find out how deep you were involved in your addiction so they will know how to treat you(what mg dose to start you on,how often you may need raised)that type stuff..Like I told you in my first post to you I was scared to death to even make the call at first then that 1rst day was worse.But you know it went by so quick and by 12pm I was feeling so good,inside and out,mentally and physically that it was SO worth all of it.Only thing is get there as early as possible because most clinics see new patients on a first come first serve basis.Atleast mine did.We got to see the doctor in the order we signed in and therefore thats how we were dosed that first day.While you are there doing your paperwork and stuff when you 1rst get there pay attention to whats going on around you.Watch the people that come in and out to get their doses for the day.I think you will be surprised and comforted by the fact that pretty much all of them look just like you only a little better because they wont be in withdrawals..And think that will be you before long!!I hope this is the life saving/changing step it was for me.I will be praying for you as you go for your first day of your new life.Please get back with us here tommorow when you are done and let us know how everything went.And please try not to be so overwhelmed as this IS a good thing!!!!!! I am sending you a BIG cyber hug(((((((neverenough))))))) to help you get through the day.....
Take care and goodluck,