Im new and need help/support - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

PercOcet30 · 03-19-2006, 08:47 PM

I have been taking percocet for almost 3 years. I can take 20 in a day easy. I want to kick the addiction as it is causing so many problems in my life, mostly my marrige and to a degree my job. I can't take the time from work to go to an in patient program, plus I feel I am strong enough to do it myself. The withdraws are aweful as everyone here knows... The diahrea and insomnia are the worst. Most of the problem is I have reliable connects 120 pills every 10 days, when I get stuck inbetween there is an Oxy connect. Even the days I don't want the pills I obsess about getting them or what I am going to do when I get them, I even put things off until I get them, telling myself that once I have the pills I will do all of the things I should do on a dialy basis anyway, chores, projects, etc. My wife is very understanding and wants to help me but I don't feel like I can talk to her cause she doesn't know what it is like. I am so ashamed that this could happen to me. I am not what is generally accepted as a drug addict - I am clean, have a family, a good job, nice house, etc. I have been looking for some sort of online community for help/support for some time now. Glad I found you guys - hope this helps. I am sure I left things out so if you have questions or advice, please send them my way. I look forward to your comments

CHINAFAN · 03-19-2006, 09:11 PM

hiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

.........i am sorry that your going through this..........i right along with you......my addiction is out of controll also and i to have a very understanding husband that goes to AA and has been clean fo 16 years..........the withdraw........oh BOY.........my body jumps all around and i can't stay still.my arms ache and my legs do to and my legs jump all over..........i can't even sleep in the bed with my husband cuz i keep him up all night..but he doesnt care....but he has to go to work.so ijust walk around like a crazy person all night............if i could just keep still under a warm blaket it would be better..........my mind goes racing about "one pill".and i am up and down to the restroom............does you arms and legs do this to?
love.......................chinafan God Bless you your not alone

PercOcet30 · 03-19-2006, 09:29 PM

Thanks for the reply, it is great to hear from someone who is going through this too. my arms and legs aren't too bad at night - but I can relate to pacing the house like a crazy person, by the time I fall asleep from exhaustion, I have to get up to go to work - then I am there tired and I get the whole arm and leg restlessness, I have no concentration and I basically mope around or think about how I can get pills again. I am looking forward to getting off of the pills but not looking forward to the WD's. I can't remember going more than 2 days without pills in the last 2 years....I wish this never happened so badly. The pills have also caused me to do things and form relationships that I never would have otherwise, at least I think so - it has been so long I don't even know who I really am anymore anyway.

CHINAFAN · 03-19-2006, 09:50 PM

i understand..............i wish i never started this vicodin taking either..........its terrible...........i am gonna try real hard to stop..........i want to stop...........do you have any pills left?..........i do and i am scared of withdraws..............

PercOcet30 · 03-19-2006, 10:01 PM

I do have some left and i also fear what will happen when i am out. I have thought about buying them online or off the streets - then I try to think about everything else I need to do with the money. I am hoping that by finding a support group online I will be able to handle this as quickly as possible.

how long have you been taking pills? how many times have you tried to quit before?

I have been trying to find out how long the worst of the WD's last - looks like about 7 days for the worst of it, but they can last 6 months to a year??? I hope the 6 months to a year are just cravings or something - I can't take insomnia for any more than a week.

I just think it's crazy the way everything becomes about taking, scoring, rationing out pills....

good luck to you. We all have the power to overcome this