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Old 05-15-2006, 10:17 AM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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kim4074 HB User
Angry I'm angry, scared!!!

Hello everyone for those of you who have been following my story I have a friend who is addicted to heroin. Which is what is ultimatly made me get clean. I was giving him $ for pills in return he can get his heroin!! Not on pills anymore I get sick about it. Thing have just gotten worse for him and everyone who comes in contact with him!!!!!! I'm so angry cause hes always telling his friends to try it its great!!! So they do how stupid are these people they look at him and say he looks like death and stink to high heavens who knows the last time he took a shower! And they do it and think I wont get addicted to it!!! BS now they are all hooked on this crap what is wrong with people why would he do that to his friends. I wish he would just go away I feel like digging a big hole and letting him just fall in it!!!! This just sucks I have never hated anyone in my life but now I know what it feels like and its killing me inside. I have never wished death on anyone but man this is hard. I guess misery loves company so why not get everyone to join in!!!! ARGHHHHH I'm so glad I got clean and he no longer affects my life anymore cause I dont need pills but in a round about way he does cause he draging everyone else down with Him. He evern tried to get my fiance to try it good thing I wasnt there cause he would be in a hole somewhere but thank god he said NO and get the F away from me. Good Lord why does this happen. I'm locking my nieces up til they are old there is so much out there and they think they are invincible not to all things though!!!! I've never been so mad and angry and just want to scream!!!! Sorry had to vent and keep you a little bit posted on my friend oops now I mean my friends the heroin addicts!! KIm

 
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Old 05-15-2006, 02:36 PM   #2
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kim4074 HB User
Re: I'm angry, scared!!!

I posted my original thread to read along with this one sorry I should have added them together. Kim

 
Old 05-15-2006, 02:56 PM   #3
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tryinghardmom HB User
Re: I'm angry, scared!!!

Hi Kim! I'm sorry it's too long since I've posted!! I can't imagine how frustrating...scary...maddening this situation is. You know, I think that when we're involved in something we know we shouldn't be....it makes us feel better to know that other people are doing it too....I guess that's where the 'misery loves company' idea comes from. You think there's just no way he'd agree to a methadone clinic or something similar? Otherwise, I'm sure once he knows you're sticking to your guns you'll see less and less of him....he's probably just holding out hope that you'll be a customer again. But yes...having him call your bf would make me crazy too. I bet he'll quit trying soon.

 
Old 05-15-2006, 03:10 PM   #4
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kim4074 HB User
Re: I'm angry, scared!!!

Yes he hasnt called the house in a very long time not sure about Scotts cell phone though I'm sure he has tried to call to get 20 bucks off him but he wouldnt tell me. I know that he knows this well has run dry, but he still knows Scott thinks about them being life long friends and uses that to his advantage. You know the line I've always been there for you when you needed me, he uses that alot. We still have his mothers car keys that he gave us for collaterol (sp??) the last time he borrowed money and promised to pay us back we should just drop them off to his mom. Because we will never see that money unless we look at his arms where he shoots. Its sad. Well how are you doing? My knee is still killing me swollen like a balloon right now couldnt even get a pair of pants over it. I have to take something for the pain now and then and I feel like a failure when I do. but since there is nothing that anyone says can be done right now I guess I have to. Not abusing and have no urge to take more than a half. How is this for re-training the brain. One day I took a 1/2 and about 10 hrs later I needed to take another 1/2 so maybe I could sleep with the pain. It made me terribly sick violently ill. Now when I think of them my mouth starts watering and makes me feel nauseous. Not thinking that lets get wasted feeling I used to get when I think of them. Which is definatly a good thing. Keep us updated on your progess. Hows the hubby now is he getting better and forgiving you? Kim

 
Old 05-15-2006, 03:29 PM   #5
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NightSwan76 HB User
Re: I'm angry, scared!!!

Grrr I just lost the whole response I typed somehow. Anyway...
Kim,
Remember that was us not too long ago. Now we are on the outside looking in and it is so frustrating to see someone you love and care about throwing their life away. There was a time about a month ago where our loved ones were wondering why we couldn't get our you know what together! Now that lifestyle seems so beyond anything I can comprehend right now.
Before John passed away, we would have a frequent phone conversation about my decision to come to Hawaii to get clean.
Although I loved him very much and wanted to get back together with him when drugs were out of the picture, I knew that if I kept myself in a place where I knew way too many people, I would have died right along with him. I knew it and I told everybody that was the reason I left Connecticut. I was killing myself and I got fed up with it. All of my friends were addicted to Oxy and it is so beyond sad that it took my boyfriend's death( regardless of how he died) for everyone to open their eyes.
What I guess I am trying to say to you is maybe you need to just stop associating with everyone that has anything to do with drugs(that you are aware of). It will hurt to break of some of those relationships but it will be better for you in the long run.
I know you were taking pills privately and not snorting lines of Oxy with a bunch of so-called friends but it's all the same. Tough love, I guess you can call it. Sure I had amazing times with some of those people back home but it's the same as what I was saying in the Ecstasy thread....it's all fake.
You have risen above the junk and you should be VERY proud of your strength. Don't let your friend's problem become yours. You deserve your peace because you fought hard for it.
Ok I am done rambling for now!
Missy

 
Old 05-15-2006, 03:49 PM   #6
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kim4074 HB User
Re: I'm angry, scared!!!

Thank you soo much your right and I only know these people through Scott mostly. We have stopped all associtation with them even move to a different town. To get Scott away from all the crap thank God I know he is a very smart and strong person but then again who knows. Now that I am hearing about everyone else getting messed up with the crap. Even though John has passed thank God your still here with us. That was the one ? I asked you if you were there would you have done it too? Everything happens for a reason even though sometimes its very tragic but thats what it takes to open peoples eyes to the danger they are putting themselves in. Peer pressure can be a very strong thing. I just love your rambles!!!! Your words I really value your VERY wise for being so young. Hows the job going good I hope!!!!!! Talk to you later little buddy. lol Kim

Last edited by kim4074; 05-16-2006 at 08:44 AM.

 
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