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Old 05-22-2006, 09:17 PM   #1
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Help me help my friend on Xanax!

My assistant and I have worked together for about 7 years and have become very good friends. Last week she came to me and asked for the afternoon off because she had a dr. appt. I asked her if she was okay and she tuned up and told me that she thought that she had a xanax addiction. That she has been taking 7 or 8 pills pd since the fall. I was floored and probably didn't handle the situation the best I could of. I have a son in theraputic boarding school because of drug use (bars same thing? and extasy BTW he is doing wonderful!). So I guess another loved on on drugs floored me.

On the day of her appt., she told me that she has decided not to go to the Dr. and she was strong enough to quit using it on her own, that since she had enough foresight to think she had a problem she thought she could handle it. I highly disagree. I have been around addiction enough to know that now that now she is regretting telling me and is trying to deny her addiction I also think that if she told me that she is using 7 to 8 pills pd she is probably using more. From what I have also read Xanax addiction is very hard to kick and that the stress and anxiety will come back 10fold during the withdrawl period.

Today, she came to work all happy because she didn't take any today. She told me that she did take some over the weekend, but by Monday at 8am she kicked the habit. She also told me that she thought I was hyper sensative about xanax because of my son.

Yes, I might be hyper sensative, but during my son's use I learned everything I could about this and am scared for her. Also, I own a business that is many people's lively hood and I have to protect it.

She basically runs our business and while I don't ever think that she would steal or anything from us, I do know from personal experience that an addiction can make you do things that you never thought you would do just to support the habit. I really haven't figured out how to handle this situation, but I told her that all checks / withdrawls from now on will have to be approved. What I am thinking about doing since she is convinced that she can kick this on her own is telling her that I am taking over the accounting responsibilities until I know she is clean. Not because I don't trust her, I don't trust the addiction and mainly her denial. Then in 1 month, if she test clean I will give her back her responsibilities. If she test dirty then she either had to go to a rehab, dr. whatever for professional help to kick this.

Any ideas? She is a great girl who is sharp as a tack, just has had a rough time lately in her personal life and it really got her down.

Thanks, sorry for rambling!
B

 
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Old 05-23-2006, 05:37 AM   #2
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

You have every right to protect your business.I agree with all the decisions you've made and I hope she does the right thing.Hang in there and don't give in as you already know....Good luck to her I really hope she can do it...Dave

 
Old 05-25-2006, 01:08 PM   #3
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

She needs to look at the free online Ashton Manual, it explains all about benzos and tapering. She needs to not go cold turkey; some people can get seizures or halucinate doing that!

 
Old 05-25-2006, 02:51 PM   #4
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

You are smart to do that to protect your business. My son, also has been off xanax for 45 days. he was taking 7-8 bars.....he was a mess. When he came to us and told us, he's 20 yr old, I called the doctor and he prescribed a taper for him. and it saved him from the withdrawal, anxiety and the crawling skin feeling, as well the unable to sleep problems. The withdrawal does not happen over the weekend. She is fooling herself. If I were you, I would drug test her.......see what that shows up...explain that you are only doing this to help her. If she had a problem, stopping over the weekend, she would not come in Monday morning all happy......she would be a mess....as you prob already know........my son was on his way to his grave.......you can also have a seizure and die from abruptly stopping...that's why doc put him on a slow taper..........keep us posted!!

 
Old 05-25-2006, 09:01 PM   #5
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

What a WEEK!

The absolutely worst thing that could of happened happened Wednesday! She had a seizure at the office! Thank God that I had clued in another person at the office and they advised the paramedics! At the hospital, the gave her 3 days of ativan, from which I have read is just as addicting.

The progress as of today is that her and her family are going on vacation (actually already left tonight! 3 kids 2 under 2 in an RV! Yuck even on drugs!) as planned and she called her family Dr and I'm sure snookered him into giving her more ativan or xanax to last her until she got home. She has really acted like nothing is wrong. So what she had a seizure at the office and freaked everyone out. I really do not know what to do. I am not going to tolorate this. I told her to take a few weeks off and get her self together, but I think that I am going to make some demands before I let her back.

Does anyone know what general policies companies have about drug use?

I just feel so bad for her. But she is in such deep denial that if I allow it, I am only allowing her to use, which I am not going to do.

YEA It's almost a three day weekend! I really need it!

Last edited by bayougal11; 05-25-2006 at 09:02 PM.

 
Old 05-26-2006, 10:43 AM   #6
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Exclamation Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bayougal11
What a WEEK!

The absolutely worst thing that could of happened happened Wednesday! She had a seizure at the office! Thank God that I had clued in another person at the office and they advised the paramedics! At the hospital, the gave her 3 days of ativan, from which I have read is just as addicting.

The progress as of today is that her and her family are going on vacation (actually already left tonight! 3 kids 2 under 2 in an RV! Yuck even on drugs!) as planned and she called her family Dr and I'm sure snookered him into giving her more ativan or xanax to last her until she got home. She has really acted like nothing is wrong. So what she had a seizure at the office and freaked everyone out. I really do not know what to do. I am not going to tolorate this. I told her to take a few weeks off and get her self together, but I think that I am going to make some demands before I let her back.

Does anyone know what general policies companies have about drug use?

I just feel so bad for her. But she is in such deep denial that if I allow it, I am only allowing her to use, which I am not going to do.

YEA It's almost a three day weekend! I really need it!
The fact she told you about a very personal problem shows she is courageous. Give her more credit. You said, “Thank God that I had clued in another person at the office and they advised the paramedics!”…wow, maybe you should keep medical knowledge about your workers private. I’m sure you meant well, but you need to be careful. Even if she is abusing the drug, she is LEGALLY prescribed to take them. Some people take benzodiazepines for treat seizures and panic disorder. Also, you ask, “Does anyone know what general policies companies have about drug use?”…you’re better off consulting an attorney and not people from the Internet. Federal law has protections for workers that, if not followed, can get you in hot water…but as an employer is know that…right? I don’t mean to be so negative in this post, but as you said you have a business to protect. She may be a good friend but you still must be careful from a legal standpoint.


I’m glad your son is doing well!

Last edited by Hyperspace; 05-26-2006 at 10:57 AM.

 
Old 05-26-2006, 11:33 AM   #7
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

I would contact the labot board in your city and find out the legals of this problem. Do you have an office policy on drugs? Do you test your employees before they're hired or randomly? In this day and time, you should. Do you realize that she could have died with that seizure? Do she realize that? She needs to get on the web and read extensively about withdrawal from xanax...it will scare her to death. Good luck!!!!

 
Old 05-26-2006, 11:53 AM   #8
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

Quote:
Originally Posted by flintrock
Do you have an office policy on drugs? Do you test your employees before they're hired or randomly? In this day and time, you should.
flintrock,
I don't know if a simple drug test would help in this case. I don't see how an employer can do much to a worker who tests positive for a drug that a M.D. has legally prescribed.

Last edited by Hyperspace; 05-26-2006 at 11:53 AM.

 
Old 05-26-2006, 12:58 PM   #9
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

True. but with what she has confided in the friend, looks like the employer would want to know if employees are "abusing."

 
Old 05-26-2006, 06:23 PM   #10
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

She does not have a prescription for xanax, she buys it illegally. Now because the hospital gave her only 3 days of ativan and she was leaving on vacation she went to the doctor and got prescription for ativan.

What is really so upsetting to me is the "no big deal" attitude. I am really worried about her.

Legally, since we did take action when we found out that she had a problem we are not liable for anything. (I checked today) I just want to do the right thing for her. The person that I clued in at the office was my husband, and he had the right to know.

 
Old 05-26-2006, 06:39 PM   #11
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

I think if she has that attitude...she's not ready to stop. And there's nothing to can do to make her. She has to be ready. My son was addicted 2 years........I talked until I was blue in the face. he got arrested, wrecked 2 cars and lived to tell about it. But until HE was ready, nothing worked........it's very sad and hard to see someone you love do this to themselves........

 
Old 05-26-2006, 07:05 PM   #12
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

How right you are. And toughlove is the only way I know how to handle it. Hopefully someday she will thank me for not tolorating it, but even if she does not that's okay. I can live with my conscience.

 
Old 05-27-2006, 02:05 PM   #13
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Re: Help me help my friend on Xanax!

Just let her know that when she's ready to get clean...you are there...until then...things will be different. She could have a seizure and die at the place of business and there you are........nothing you can do...............

 
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