I found that xanax did help with my hydro w/d just be careful not to trade one for the other. I had alot of restlessness especially not being able to sleep was the worst I also had alot of cold and sweats. Your w/d's will be uncomfortable with the hydro but you caught in time so they might not be as intense as some who are trying to stop after 2 + yrs. Good that you caught it in time and want to stop now. It wont be easy but exercise, hot baths, vitamins and rest when you can will help ease them some but not all the way. Just be careful not to start abusing the xanax to mask the w/d's continue to take those as prescribed abusing those is not fun. I too get xanax and never abused those infact I dont take them daily only when I feel a panic attack coming on and that did help with my w/d's but stopped taking them once that was through as not to get another addiction to those started. But I understand that some people need them daily and they will also help with the anxiety caused from w/d's off the lortab. Good luck you can kick this habit!!! Kim
I have been reading forums for a while now regarding others addicted (for whatever reason) to narcotic PRESCRIPTIONS. Just felt like sharing my story, hoping to bring relief to some. Roughly 5 years ago, (I'm in my early 30's). I started feeling much lower and mid back pain. A neighbor gave me the hydrocodone 10/325's to take. After trying the standard otc med's I thought would help nothing worked but the hydro's. I continued to take them as they were just being given to me. Initially yes, it was for pain relief, then.... I know I became mentally & physcially addicted to them. I ended up doing things as I thought I should, went to my family doc, told him my situation & about my back pain. He wrote me my scripts for quite some time but he also tried to get me a specialist, I liked him a lot but it he never tried to taper me down or f/u with me on the specialist visits. He was giving me 60 tabs every 12-15 days for a long time. A year later he told me to come in for blood work (they have to do that for their files). We all know prolonging finding a permanent cure is easier because it seems the pills are all we need. The Norco 10/325's gave me so much energy and things seemed easier to deal with. For the longest time it felt I couldn't do anything w/o them. The amt. he was giving me didn't seem to be enough so I found 2 other doctors for scripts...I didn't consider the legalities (or as any addict, ignored them). None of these doctors EVER told me the risk of addiction or the pain of the withdrawals... nothing.. but I don't only blame them. Yes, I had been in 2 serious car accidents & have severe muscle spasms, but nothing was ever determined through MRI's/X-rays that constituted the level of pain meds they kept me on. I didn't question that...I just wanted the pills. I know I kept taking them mainly for that euphoric feeling. I felt embarrassed going to the doctors office requesting refills and picking them up from my pharmacy. Perhaps my true colors were showing. I didn't want anyone to think I was an addict to them....although at one point I felt that my pain was justified....I know there are others that are a lot worse off than I am that truly need them. I do firmly believe nobody should be on narcotics for too long though. In summary...I was running out of ways to obtain them..my doctors were helpful at the time but they stopped my prescriptions for the reasons most doctors do. No, they didn't taper me off and I do feel they were wrong in that aspect. As soon as I found out I couldn't get anymore from my last doctors, I was stuck.....I had NONE. I went w/o hydro for I believe it was 22 days. I was MISERABLE! I thought I was going to die. I have a child to raise on my own, no family or friends to help, (I'm always working or living for my child) ...I couldn't let anyone at my job know ...I have a wonderful job. Having to quit cold turkey after taking up to 14-18 10/325's per day was awful. I experienced all the standard symptoms: bathroom issues, severe flu symtoms, no energy, mood changes left and right and restless nights that seemed to go on forever & my body temperature was going crazy. I firmly believe a percentage of addiction is mental but I'm no doctor. Majoring in Pschology, doing research on placebo's, I've always believed in mind over matter .. When I first quit cold turkey, I only took 1 day off work and then the next day, I only made it half a day at the office. The next couple of weeks at work, I was useless...but I forced myself because I didn't want anyone to suspect anything, I was late everyday but went. Didn't clean for 3 weeks (which is not like me...had to keep up w/all household chores and be a mom..it was tough. I moped around & felt like if I didn't get more pills, my life would fall apart. I went to a different doctor and started all over...6 months ago.. I've been on Hydro 10/325 for a total of 5 1/2 years with only that one 22 day break in between with nothing, I always had pills except during that time. It took some convincing with this new doc...but he gave me the script. I filled it and kept making excuses to continue to get them. He did ask I go to a specialist, get some MRI's & I did to continue getting the refills from him. He started me out on 4-6 10/325's per day (but we all know we take more most days)..I kept making up stories to get my refills early, made up stories to get more pills... etc.. he kept giving me the 10's for about 5 months.... last month @ this time he cut me down to the 7.5/325's. Those seemed to give me relief but he gave me lower quantities so it got harder and harder to continue to have a supply on hand. I talked to him, I asked him to please gradually cut me down. I did some research and knew I should finally ask him to do this. He did it too quickly. He suddenly took a quantity of #40 at 7.5's/325's at 1 every 8 hours to a quantity of 20 tablets at 1 every 12 hours......then, they wouldn't refill it for me...it took me 3 calls to the doctors office to explain that things were moving too quickly. They finally called in a refill but guess what, this time...it was only 10 tablets at 1 per day. This, to me AND my pharmacist was too much too quick. She didn't even agree with it and that's all pharmacists do is medication, I trusted her more than the doc but there's not much you can do when your doctor always thinks he knows best. I had 10 tablets left (counting today, 8 days ago) and this is what I did. I took 4 last Friday, I took 3 on Saturday, I wanted to take the last 3 on Sunday but I didn't... I took 2. I felt like something was missing but I think I still had enough of the narcotic in my system for those to suffice. Well, come Monday morning...I only had one left (this was 5 days ago), I took that last one around 7:30 Monday morning before I went to the office. By that afternoon and all that night I kept thinking of ways to possibly get more. What prevented me from doing that was the embarrassment and hassle and money spent going through the process of being addicted to the pill. I decided, that's it...no more. It's Friday evening and I haven't had a hydrocodone since Monday morning early. Miraculously enough, yes...I had a few stomach issues the first two days.... still am sneezing a bit, not many body aches at all.....I think I expected to go through the miserable time I did the first time I quit but that isn't the case this time. I've gotten up at 6:00 every day this week, got my child through his last week of school, worked full days (and productively) :-), am doing fine and keeping up dinners for my child and house work..... and NO, I'm not superwoman...I still feel weird, like something's missing....like I still have a craving, I still think about the pills, but... I have slept very well even knowing I don't have one to take when I wake up which is what used to keep me going :-( .... but this is all I've done thus far: I've tried to eat a **** load of fruit, I'm taking a good multivitamin daily.... and I know this sounds weird but I invested $50.00 into 2 of my favorite CD's. Sarah Brightman sings a great song "Winter in July" (totally inspirational for me) and Sarah McLauglin's "Fear" is another song I love. I blast these in my car every morning after I get my sonic tea and they give me so much inspiration. I keep thinking about tomorrow instead of today and I just keep telling myself that every single day is going to get better and better. It's not always easy...this afternoon I had a quick 20 minute spell at work where I had to hop on a forum and read about others with the same problem to get through the day. I was reading some horrific, sad stories...people getting arrested for Rx forgery.... losing their families...etc.... in fact, yesterday at the store I saw 2 police officers attending what appeared to be a very serious issue at a very upscale pharmacy here in my town..... that to me, was a sign from G-d. I know I've written so much but it was important to me to let everyone I've been reading about all week know that when I think about how long I've been on these, why, how many I was taking, what I did to have access to them... and to here the truth about the few days it's been since I stopped taking them w/o the taper....(which, if you can is probably the best way to do it).....unfortunatley, I ran out of pills entirely but figured, now's the time to stop, but also..I woke up and realized that I can either stay on them forever which is difficult when you have to go through so much in some states to obtain them, or just stop now as I've been forced to. I keep thinking of all the other things I will be able to do when I'm completely healed from this that will take the place of numerous doctor and pharmacy visits and extensive medication costs...because when your insurance co. will only pay for a narcotic when prescribed from one doctor and not the exact same narcotic even with a prescription from another doctor.... you have to act like you don't even have insurance and pay for them out of pocket. These are the things that keep me going. I guess I just got lucky with the withdrawal symtoms not being as bad the second time (please remember they will exist still)..... but also please remember that I have gone through the agony of a 22 day cold turkey withdrawal and I really understand what you are all going through. Mind over matter, no matter how bad the physical symtoms suck..... keep positive. Just PLEASE KNOW that time takes care of EVERYTHING, I firmly believe that. I know that since I've had the addiction for 5 years, a good attitude doesn't free you from the classified "addict"....but knowing I'm on the road to calling myself a recovered Narcotics addict holds a great sense of proudness for me and I know that it's better for me and my son in the long run. Please...to all, anything is possible if you really want it to be. Good luck and God Bless.
Last edited by Strongwilled; 06-07-2006 at 02:08 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to Strongwilled: glenellen (02-02-2012)
I also had a very large addiction from any narcotic I could get my hands on. For 4 yrs this went on. I decided to quit on Wed of this week, Wed morning at 6am I had my last dose. I had it made up in my mind that there would be NO MORE!!! My w/d symptoms are very mild to say the least. I took one day off from work, that was yesterday. I had Thur off. I keep thinking that it's going to get worse but it hasn't. I have Crohn's disease (disease of the intestine) so I always have the bathroom issues anyway. I just feel like something is missing like you said. I am a little jittery but do have Xanax. I hate taking them because I hate being tired so there is no way I would ever want to take those all the time.
Lets keep in touch and work through this together. I also have a 4 yr old little girl to take care of and a good full time job.
UGH!! It's supposed to be 95 here today with the muggys. BLAHHH
This is my first post--I was given pain relievers in hospital when I had 5 broken vertebra in my back...then, when I started recovering from all that
I still had very bad lower back pain. Doctor gave me hydrocodone (7/700)
which I took once a day when I woke up in the morning. I found it stopped
the back pain and gave me a great feeling of well-being. Doctor gives me
limitless refills-No problem about that. Everything was going fine until about
3 months ago when I would go to sleep at night, sleep 3 hours or so and then be up All night--Every night. Also had diarrhea constantly, as well as restless leg syndrome. I finally figured that all this was coming from the hydrocodone.
Found this Forum and read posts all the way back. Was totally shocked to
read of all the agony this stuff has caused, and that almost everyone on
this board was given hydro by doctors after a broken bone or other painful
injury. As I was reading the posts on this board I realized that people had
All of the symptoms I had. I knew then that I had to stop taking the stuff,
which I did at that moment and it has now been about 5 weeks and I can
sleep at night again. I, however have one new symptom, if that's what it
is and wonder if anyone can comment on this? During the nights when
I woke up at 3, my mind would instantly latch onto some resentment
from the past, anger toward relatives, friends, things I haven't thought of
in years...and almost All the people I am angry with have been Dead for
years. It's like an obsession--I still have it at different times, though it
is not as intense or frequent now. Has anyone experienced this kind of
I'm sorry, maybe I misunderstood, but did you stop taking them completely? If so, my guess is that it is the "mental" withdrawal symtoms you are experiencing. I personally, when I couldn't sleep the first time I tried to quit...I had horrible dreams/nightmares..... some I wouldn't even want to explain they were so bad. No hostility towards friends and family. I found I missed my father more and more (he passed at 42, 2 days before my high school graduation)....I was young but for some reason, it seemed to have a greater affect on me when I felt I needed him most. I have been off (cold turkey) now for 13 days. I haven't had the same withdrawal symptoms I did the first time I quit and am able to sleep fine....but I notice a feeling a being run down and not as happy as I once was. I am just taking this one day at a time and I keep telling myself each day will get better. I am not going to be one of those people who let something (anything) run their life...whether it's a pain pill, alcohol, cigarettes....whatever. That is what keeps me going. "Wanting to be the strong one, wanting to be the one that says "well I did it after several doese of pills over 5 years without rehab or doctors". Maybe that sounds cocky and I'm sorry if it does but everyone's motivation is different. You take care and feel free to post me if you want to talk. I'll be here for you because I have nobody and it's difficult to go through when you have nobody to talk to. Take care.
Hello, thanks for the words of encouragement. I've been divorced for over 6 years now...wasn't taking pain medication when I was married. I had my son when I was 19 and never married my son's father, we were young...he proposed but I had college and a great future in mind so didn't feel it was a wise decision to marry someone I didn't feel would be a good fit for me. I married my husband a few years later. I divorced him after 3 years (he was an ex-infantry man in the military, drill sergeant and over time, realized he was too hard on my son. I went on a business trip for a week and came home to my son being bruised beyond explanation on his backside. I immediately said good-bye, paid for the divorce, split everything 50/50 and was out of there. Have been on my own ever since with my child, he's 14 and wonderful. I really only have my mother who doesn't live here in Texas but she is all I have left. I told her about 4 years into taking the pills about my problem. That was the first time I tried to quit. She was very concerned but I don't think she fully understood the full concept of what was happening and what I was going through. Knowing she didn't ask me frequently about my progress and didn't make a big deal of it (not that she didn't care, I just don't think she understood)..... I didn't feel motivated to give them up so easily. I did what I did because it got to be an inconvenience more than anything....like I said in my first post. Yes, I have back pain. But.....it's not so bad I have to be on pills like that forever. I knew why I kept going to the doctor...because I wanted them. I knew that every time I got them from my pharmacist, he was thinking "man she's been on these for a very long time"...I got paranoid thinking people were looking at me from all angles as a prescription substance abuser....I got embarrassed, I got frustrated at trying to make up tons of excuses for early refills.... why I still needed it etc.... I knew stopping would be very difficult this second time because of what I went through the first time... it's kind of funny because when I was 19 I smoked cigarettes (mostly when I would go out drinking and dancing)...I didn't quit smoking because of my health, I quit because it made my hair and clothes smell bad) :-) But.... the pills....yes, it felt like a second job just obtaining them and this time, I quit for the right reasons :-) I appreciate your response very much because yes, this is difficult...it's very difficult. My mother thinks I quit over a year ago so I can't tell her and I won't. I figured I would keep up what I'm doing and never look back. I am trying hard. Every day has been a struggle. I don't think about them all the time anymore but once in a while I think...ahh...it would be so nice to have some on hand. Thank you for your kind words, only one other person responded to me and I was beginning to think that nobody would. It took a lot for me to even post anything regarding my addiction. Take care, okay?
You're very welcome.
I,too, know the feelings you have written about. My days were filled with thoughts of either "what can I get done today?"( because I had pills), "how can I get pills for tomorrow?" (when I was almost out), and "can I make up a story to get refills early or should I start calling around for pills?" (when I was out). I had gone through about 15 doctors before I found the ones who would give me the most pills. I also went through anything the doctors wanted me to so that they would continue to give the pills to me (therapy, TENS unit, muscle relaxers, injections, MRI's, etc.) I remember the act I put on as soon as I got out of the car at the doctors office, walking as if I was in pain just in case someone was watching, and continuing that walk until I left. Then the "pain" walk would pop up again before I entered the pharmact in case the pharmacist was watching. Addiction IS insanity, isn't it?
Some of the times I hated myself because I would constantly be lying and would think of who I knew that might have pills. I would call up friends I hadn't talked to in years, just to see if maybe they had gone through something in which they got pills for. I have taken pills from my families medicine cabinet when I found some there ( I was always looking), I would avoid seeing my family when I knew I would be out of pills, and lie and tell people I was "sick" from the flu or something else. God, I was the best actress I knew, although I found out later I wasn't as good as I thought.
It sounds like you are close to your mother. That is wonderful. I have a very wonderful family who has seen me through addiction in the past and stands by me now. But I still feel all alone with this addiction. Although I have family that love me, I don't feel that anyone could understand what this addiction has done to me.
I have been through a lot in my life, but this addiction of pills is the WORSE I have ever known. It is worse than cocaine or alcohol addiction by far. Partly because it is a legal drug, but mostly because the w/d is far worse than anything I could have imagined. You feel so very alone! And the combination of physical and mental withdrawal is horrible!
I, too, have back pain and problems, but nothing that another avenue shouldn't have helped me with. But the ease one has in getting pills from doctors makes it easy for us to validate using them.
You and I have much in common in that aspect. I never thought myself to have an addictive personality. I always frowned on those people. I tampered in cocaine, marijuana when I was younger. In fact, the only reason I ever smoked pot in my junior year in high school was because someone told me it would help my stomach aches....I had them for 8 months, woke up throwing up every morning due to my parents divorce and stress. I remember waiting for my bus and having to run behind a house so nobody would see me get sick, if I made it to the school...I would run to the bathroom before anyone saw me. I didn't tell my parents, I felt they were stressed enough. It got to the point where my girlfriend would spend the night with me and keep me awake all night so I wouldn't have to wake up sick. It was awful, the marijuana helped but I never got addicted to it. The cocaine well...that came in my early 20's. Tried it for a couple of months (recreationally..didn't have to have it all the time)...what stopped me from continuing that was one paticular evening...my boyfriend and all our buddies were partying all night in the living room and I was in the bedroom trying to sleep. I had done enough of it to where I just couldn't fall asleep and it was so frustrating! I literally was still trying to sleep as I watched the sun come up...that was a horrible feeling so just said "screw this" :-) The hydrocodone though....wow..... first and only thing I've ever been addicted to. Doing w/o it after 5 + years is so weird. The first 4 years I was taking between 12-16 daily (10/325). This last year I cut them down to 6-8 per day which was a huge cut but I did that on my own and yes, the doctors suck. Do you think any of them told me about the serious long term affects of this medication and how I may become addicted to it? Nope! Sometimes I think the pharmaceutical companies and doctors are in a conspiracy of some kind. They are getting more and more timid to prescribe medications like this now and I've done much reading on the internet, DEA regulations, etc..... I do believe they may reschedule the Hydro which will make it harder to obtain and I firmly believe they are starting to crack down on records, patients being seen by numerous doctors etc...so...all that said, we stop on our own or risk going to jail because the consequences will be severe if one is caught doing such a thing, it will be our butt's, not the doctors in most cases...they play ignorant "I didn't know she was seeing 5 other doctors"..... so you aren't taking these anymore? Did you quit cold turkey? You've been off them for how long now?
Last edited by Strongwilled; 06-01-2006 at 08:51 AM.
STRONGWILLED: Thanks for the reply! You asked if I went off the hydrocodone
completely--Yes, I read so many of the posts on this Addiction forum, which
were quite a shock to me, that I decided while still reading that I had to stop
immediately. I've never had another one and have 4 refills left but won't use them. What you said about the "mental withdrawal" seems to answer my
question about my ruminative thinking. Somehow one of these a day didn't
cause any cravings when I stopped--I don't really miss it now, but I still remember how nice it was to get up every morning with back pain, irritable and angry thoughts, etc., take one pill on an empty stomach...and in about 30 minutes--no pain, more energy--and everything seemed terrific. But after about 5 weeks off the stuff, I'm starting to feel very good and hopefully the obsessive thoughts will continue to fade.
I realized, when I first read all these posts, that there must be millions of
people addicted after being given hydro by a doctor and no warning as to
it's power. I've seen a commercial for yet another drug for restless leg
syndrome-- (the drug companies must Know that millions are addicted,
so they have now come up with something else to sell). Just last night I
saw a news show that told about the new restless legs drug that is terrific
for people with Parkinson's Disease, but when used for restless legs, causes
people to become totally compulsive gamblers, sex addicts, etc. When they
get off the drug...they tend to lose interest in the compulsion.
Reetz1960 - I did the same "pain" walk in front of Dcotors offices and my local pharmacy lest "smeone" think I was faking. WHICH I WAS!
Oh my god these boards are a lifesaver. I made the decision to stop hydro use early in May. I tried to taper and was unable to consistently stay under 10-12 per day and you are right Going to one docotr and using an online Doctor to keep stocked trough the month. it has got to stop. I read STRONGWILLED's story and want to stop using since I've only been consistently using hydro for almost one year (late June 05) before it takes over my life - guess what - I fee lthat it has.
The hardest thing to do is to tell my partner (I'm gay) about my addiction. i am so scared about his reaction, not that he will be angry at all, but because of disappointment. i cannot imagine getting progressively worse over 5 days of physcial w/d and him not wondering what is up since I an getting OVER a summr cold.
i came home from work early and plan to take Friday off and possibly Monday depending on how I feel. Also, One of the online pharms "autofilled" me a script which will be sitting waiting for me at my desk when I return. That scares the crap out of me that I will be temped to use.
Hello, thank you for reading and responding. I just want to tell you that you really need to tell your significant other for a couple of reasons...1. If you love him, you need to tell him for that reason. 2. If he loves you, truly..he will understand and be there for you...and 3. YOU CANNOT HIDE THE WITHDRAWALS OR MASK THEM AS GETTING OVER A COLD. Trust me, After 5 + years, they are described as "flu like symtoms"...but people that don't even know me very well could tell something was different. You have to talk to him. Please. I hate to say this also but if he doesn't understand, he isn't worthy of you. Addiction is a disease and it doesn't have to be a shameful one depending on how it happened. Most people in this forum had legitimate pain at one time or another. Regarding the package that will be waiting on your desk, can't you call them now and tell them to cancel the order? You will have to do this because if you receive it....it will take much strength on your behalf to throw them away without even opening them. Let me tell you again, I am on day 10 now. I was taking a lot...yes, this is my second time quitting but I am going to do great and I am a single mother with a very demanding job, no significant other and nobody I can really confide in...if I can do this, I feel many others can. I hope your relationship is true because if it is, you can utilize that as power to stop just as I have my son. He is my inspiration, I look into his beautiful eyes and yes, he knows that I've taken them for a while but of course doesn't "fully understand", he's 14... but I keep thinking about, "what if this happens to him"...(trying to set a better example) :-) I promise you, you can do this but you need a loved one's support, you need someone to give you tough and emotional love. Talk to him, gently...there are ways of approaching it without making yourself sound like a junkie. Please let me know how it goes. I will do anything I can verbally to help you motivationally, I can assure you. It hurts, the withdrawals are AWFUL but it's do-able! Isn't that the important thing, knowing it's possible????? God bless you.....keep in touch please.
I have e-mailed the pharm and asked to cancel the refill, however it has "left the building"? I thought delivery companies picked up at night? Not at 1PM. UUGH! i agree with you, that I cannot touch that package becuase after the physical w/d are over I've read tha there is a HUGE mental addiction and desire to use. i do have a very close co-worker who i might ask to get rid of the package for me. Again, i have to tell another person about this addiction.
You are right, I've got to come clan and tell him so i am not running around at night for days on end and him wondering what is up? Youi can't hide this. As i was typing this he called and will be home in an hour. I will pray for strnegth and print some thing about about this addiction.
By all means, if there is someone at work you can really trust, make sure they discard of the package. I've been there, they are within 10 ft. of you and you are too tempted to overcome the addiction.
You will be fine, recognizing. you have a problem, your willingness to be open about it with your loved one and keeping a positive attitude are very important attributes here. Please...also...I don't know what your taste in music is but do try listening to Sarah Brightman's song "Winter in July" and Sarah McLaughlin's song "Fear"....... Don Henley's "New York Minute"...they all make you "think". One day we are here, the next we could be gone for whatever reason.
I will keep checking my messages in case you want to talk or need me to just read your words and not respond...you just let me know.
Strongwilled - WO, your words of encouragement were really wonderful to hear (or see in this case!) I too enjoy music and have a subscription to XM Satellite Radio and have had relaxing music on since i have returned home "with the flu". I do have very low energy and it has offically been 28 hours since I used hydro so i made it one day. Like so many others on here I try to keep my mind occupied so that I do not watch the clock.
i have not told my partner yet and hope to get the gumption to do it during the dinner hour. Thank you again.