It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-24-2006, 07:39 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chicago, IL USA
Posts: 2
aragamuffin2 HB User
Question 30+ years of excessive drinking

Is it possible for someone to drink excessively for over 30 years and not have liver damage?

My husband has a habit of drinking "only two" bottles of wine at night in an effort to feel as though he has a handle on his drinking.

When he decides to let his hair down and really enjoy himself, he has had as much as 2 bottles of wine, a six pack of beer and 1/2 a bottle of vodka all in the course of a day.

Somehow he has maintained his career and even goes to the gym to work out the day following his 'contolled' drinking. I have tried to explain to him that even though his muscles may be in shape, his liver is no different than mine in terms of its susceptibility to illness.

He is now 51 - I cannot imagine that he not going to start paying for this abuse of his body, sooner rather than later.

Aside from liver issues, can anyone offer any other advice as to what red flags I should be attuned to in terms of overall health issues that result from this kind of activity? If something creeps up, I'd like to be ahead of the curve (yes, I do realize responding to symptoms is still not really ahead of the curve) in a way that if he can start understanding his body's signals, I may begin to have more productive converations with him about this.

Thanks much!

 
Old 06-24-2006, 07:48 PM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 225
crushme HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Obviously everything in MODERATION is the key here, and he is aware of this I am sure. He probably enjoys the taste of wine and the mellow feeling it gives him and when he has a hankerin to get wasted he has the other stuff. I am sure he KNOWS this will have its toll...for some it is the liver (but a relatively small portion of heavy drinkers eventually see the liver damage), for some it is the heart, and for some it is excess weight, and for some who knows. Good luck :-/

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-25-2006, 01:00 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chicago, IL USA
Posts: 2
aragamuffin2 HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Thanks so much for your quick reply. Your response intrigues me, and please hear this as a question because I truly do not know the answer... do you think it is ever possible for an alcoholic to drink in moderation?

I know that there are different schools of thought on this, but I'd love to hear what others think or have experienced.

Thanks!

 
Old 06-25-2006, 01:58 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 225
crushme HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

After I read my response again I realize that I was incorrect the way that I worded it. What I meant was that everyone will say how good wine is for you....but only in moderation so that cannot be used as an excuse and you are right when I take into consideration that this behavior probably is indicitive of alcoholism, and in that case it cannot, and should not be done in moderation.

 
Old 06-25-2006, 06:56 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 262
Stitcher317 HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

I am hoping someone can answer this question for me. My husband has been drinking for the entire time we've been married, 36 years. He drinks approximately 8-10 ozs of Burbon before dinner each night. Sometimes adding 2 cans of beer to that. Never drinks aftere dinner unless we are out at a party. He falls asleep right after eating and sometimes even eats with his eyes closed and his speech is slurred. I wouldn't trust him to drive in the evening.
I consider him an alcoholic. He claims not! He has been abusive and threatening at times and last summer I left him and went to our home in Fla. Made no difference to him. His behavior totally disgusts me in the evening. Our son won't call past 5:00 pm. Would you all consider him an acoholic as well? He is absolutly fine in the morning and rarely drinks before 5:00 in the afternoon unless it's after golf, etc.

What really bothers me at the "tender" age of 64 is that my mom and dad were alcoholics, My brother died 2 yrs ago from it and my sister is recovering from it now for 4 years. My in-laws were alcoholics too! I've never lived with a man in my immediate family that didn't drink excessively! I don't drink and never have. I feel for my son, what chance does he have of escaping this dreadful disease?

Any thoughts? Is my husband an alcoholic based on the amount he drinks or is he just a "problem" or heavy drinker? Is there a difference? He is healthy as a horse...

Thanks everyone.

 
Old 06-25-2006, 07:21 PM   #6
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 74
kindathinkin HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitcher317
I am hoping someone can answer this question for me. My husband has been drinking for the entire time we've been married, 36 years. He drinks approximately 8-10 ozs of Burbon before dinner each night. Sometimes adding 2 cans of beer to that. Never drinks aftere dinner unless we are out at a party. He falls asleep right after eating and sometimes even eats with his eyes closed and his speech is slurred. I wouldn't trust him to drive in the evening.
I consider him an alcoholic. He claims not! He has been abusive and threatening at times and last summer I left him and went to our home in Fla. Made no difference to him. His behavior totally disgusts me in the evening. Our son won't call past 5:00 pm. Would you all consider him an acoholic as well? He is absolutly fine in the morning and rarely drinks before 5:00 in the afternoon unless it's after golf, etc.

What really bothers me at the "tender" age of 64 is that my mom and dad were alcoholics, My brother died 2 yrs ago from it and my sister is recovering from it now for 4 years. My in-laws were alcoholics too! I've never lived with a man in my immediate family that didn't drink excessively! I don't drink and never have. I feel for my son, what chance does he have of escaping this dreadful disease?

Any thoughts? Is my husband an alcoholic based on the amount he drinks or is he just a "problem" or heavy drinker? Is there a difference? He is healthy as a horse...

Thanks everyone.
Probably you are confused because you have been around alchoholics your whole life and a lot of drinking might seem normal to you.

Internet folks who just read one paragraph of a situation aren't in a good position to make any judgement calls for you, but what you describe sure sounds like alchoholism to me. Your husband drinks a half-pint of bourbon every night - sometimes with a beer chaser, gets foggy and falls asleep every night. He gets ugly enough when he drinks that you have left him and his child avoids contact with him during the usual drunk hours.

All those things are certainly the halmark of an alchoholic. All YOU really need to know, however, is that you don't like it.

You aren't going to change him after 36 years of drinking. You found that out when you left for Florida.

The question is what YOU are going to do for you. You have at least two choices - stay in the situation, or leave it. The option of changing him is not really an option at all.

Last edited by kindathinkin; 06-26-2006 at 02:03 AM.

 
Old 06-26-2006, 05:35 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 262
Stitcher317 HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Your reply is really making me think harder about this ugly disease. It's tough and scary making life changing decisions at this time of my life, age 64.....I do agree, however, I cannot change my husband but I do try to fill my life with activities that I find interesting and helpful to others.

One day the excessive drinking will takes it's toll. Sad, it doesn't have to be this way. I understand I am powerless against this disease, It' such a total waste and so very selfish on the alcoholics part.

I am trying to educate my son about his potential risks but at age 27, he doesn't want to hear it from me. He is very aware and in an occupation where having even one DUI would cost him his job forever.

Truly appreciate your input. Thank you

 
Old 06-26-2006, 07:38 PM   #8
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 74
kindathinkin HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitcher317
Your reply is really making me think harder about this ugly disease. It's tough and scary making life changing decisions at this time of my life, age 64.....I do agree, however, I cannot change my husband but I do try to fill my life with activities that I find interesting and helpful to others.

One day the excessive drinking will takes it's toll. Sad, it doesn't have to be this way. I understand I am powerless against this disease, It' such a total waste and so very selfish on the alcoholics part.

I am trying to educate my son about his potential risks but at age 27, he doesn't want to hear it from me. He is very aware and in an occupation where having even one DUI would cost him his job forever.

Truly appreciate your input. Thank you
At 64, you are facing a different life dynamic than someone might who is twenty or thirty years younger.

You are probably concerned about being alone if you leave your husband. Then again, maybe you have outgrown that concern. I would be interested to hear your perspective.

At 64, you have a lot of living left to do. I just spoke with a friend of mine last week. He is 89. When I told him that my parents are 68, he said, "oh my, so young yet!"

At this stage of the game, you already know if you want to spend the most valuable part of your life with a partner who spends a lot of time in the bottle.

Now comes the point if you can get the gumption to do something about it or just suck it up like you have been for so many years.

I hope that you pick a path that brings you joy and peace.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 09:11 PM   #9
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 262
Stitcher317 HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Hello Kindathinkin -

You seem to know exactly what I am thinking. Yes,I am afraid of being alone at 64. While my health is excellent and I am very young in spirit, it's the fear of the unknown that tends to make me too timid to make a life altering move. My husband is adored and respected by (most) his friends. He is able to hide his disease quite well and I have never exposed his abusive side. I just know that I would end up as the "bad guy" if I decide to leave and that doesn't make me feel too great. I also have concerns about what he might do if I call it quits. I don't trust him. That's pretty sick isn't it?

Perhaps he is also suffering from some form of depression. After all, isn't alcoholism a form of self medication for something else going on.....he refuses counceling and has tried to blame his drinking on me, us, maritial issues, etc. yada, yada,yada I could really get into this.... Bottom line, he started drinking long before he met me!

My Dr. insists the physical effects of chronic alcohol abuse will soon raise their ugly head and I should prepare myself for that.....nothing visible so far...

Thanks again for your insight and input.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 11:25 PM   #10
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 74
kindathinkin HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitcher317
Hello Kindathinkin -

You seem to know exactly what I am thinking. Yes,I am afraid of being alone at 64. While my health is excellent and I am very young in spirit, it's the fear of the unknown that tends to make me too timid to make a life altering move. My husband is adored and respected by (most) his friends. He is able to hide his disease quite well and I have never exposed his abusive side. I just know that I would end up as the "bad guy" if I decide to leave and that doesn't make me feel too great. I also have concerns about what he might do if I call it quits. I don't trust him. That's pretty sick isn't it?

Perhaps he is also suffering from some form of depression. After all, isn't alcoholism a form of self medication for something else going on.....he refuses counceling and has tried to blame his drinking on me, us, maritial issues, etc. yada, yada,yada I could really get into this.... Bottom line, he started drinking long before he met me!

My Dr. insists the physical effects of chronic alcohol abuse will soon raise their ugly head and I should prepare myself for that.....nothing visible so far...

Thanks again for your insight and input.
Dear Sticher:

Your happiness isn't a popularity contest. Don't worry that other people might think of you as the "bad guy" if you leave.

The truth is that MOST people have had some form of addiction very close to them in their lives. I am willing to bet that your friends see right through your husband. It probably isn't the big secret you think it is.

Yes, people often self-medicate with alcohol or other drugs. The reason he became and alcoholic really isn't so important to you now. The fact is he is a long-time alcoholic right now and is likely to be that way for a long time, if not forever.

At this point, you are probably tired. Tired of the emptiness of a relationship with an alcoholic. Maybe you are now looking back with a little pain and wondering why you wasted so much time already; wondering how much more fulfilled you might have been.

Maybe you are afraid of being alone. However, it sounds like you are alone already. Your relationship might seem like a pair of shoes without soles. You keep them just to say you have a pair of shoes.

If leaving is a jump to big, take a little step. Move out on your own for say, six months. You just need a little time on your own and, by the way, if you find life on your own seems pretty nice, you can extend it to a year or whatever.

 
Old 06-29-2006, 10:34 AM   #11
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 262
Stitcher317 HB User
Re: 30+ years of excessive drinking

Your happiness isn't a popularity contest. Don't worry that other people might think of you as the "bad guy" if you leave.

The truth is that MOST people have had some form of addiction very close to them in their lives. I am willing to bet that your friends see right through your husband. It probably isn't the big secret you think it is.

Yes, people often self-medicate with alcohol or other drugs. The reason he became and alcoholic really isn't so important to you now. The fact is he is a long-time alcoholic right now and is likely to be that way for a long time, if not forever.

At this point, you are probably tired. Tired of the emptiness of a relationship with an alcoholic. Maybe you are now looking back with a little pain and wondering why you wasted so much time already; wondering how much more fulfilled you might have been.

Maybe you are afraid of being alone. However, it sounds like you are alone already. Your relationship might seem like a pair of shoes without soles. You keep them just to say you have a pair of shoes.

If leaving is a jump to big, take a little step. Move out on your own for say, six months. You just need a little time on your own and, by the way, if you find life on your own seems pretty nice, you can extend it to a year or whatever.


Golly, Kindathinkin, I feel I owe you a consultation fee! I have been through counseling intermittently with no positive results. Of course, it really takes two people to resolve issues and there was no cooperation on husband's part.

I realize, through no part of my own, that I have been denied a lot of happiness and companionship because of someone else's addiction to alcohol. This should make me very angry. You have helped enlighten me. All I really need to do is gather my intestional fortitude and charge forward and yes, start thinking of what I would like for me. Selfish? I think not! Martyrdom isn't an attractive attribute.

So, I am re-grouping and in the future I plan to discontinue being the "victim" . The marriange is a shambles anyway and I am too disgusted to put anymore effort into making it better. The alcoholism is also causing hubby to be abusive and angry maybe because he realizes he does have a problem. I realize, too, that my popularity isn't the issue here but being the one that actually forces the breakup of a family is hard to stomach. We only have one son, age 27. His awareness of dad's drinking will be a plus on my side. I think he would supportive but sad.

Why is it that some people feel sorry for the alcoholic? In my family, unless someone actually harms someone while under the influence, there is nothing but pity for their circumstances. Never mind the potential they have for harming others. Anyone ever put a price on emotional damage? I don't get it..

Thanks again for your thought provoking questions and statements. You have really nailed my issues down pat and I truly appreciate your input.

BTW, what brings you to this discussion on alcoholism? I am not trying to pry but you have such insight.....that is such a gift here.

Cheers to you,
Linda

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
excessive tea drinking? Golden Ager Healthy Lifestyle 5 12-07-2009 02:54 AM
A problem that has affected my social life for years. VuLe110 Digestive Disorders 2 11-21-2007 06:50 PM
excessive bowel movements cwbj65 Bowel Disorders 2 09-13-2007 04:56 PM
excessive belching, lower chest pain... moesciphish Digestive Disorders 5 05-29-2006 06:15 AM
Over 21+ years old with acne, Desperate? I will lend a hand. Iwillhelpyou Acne 114 11-26-2005 08:33 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Hydrocodone
Lortab
Methadone
Oxycontin
Percocet
  Tylenol
Ultram Valium
Vicodin
Xanax




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Phoenix (150), katlin09 (108), reachout (100), Wendy88 (36), second go (36), oxygirl (34), corissa3 (32), Tysmom1 (24), icehouse3z (24), bolter (21)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1011), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (761), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:35 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!