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Old 09-01-2006, 09:19 AM   #1
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When will I stop? When I am dead?

I just cant stop drinking dispite all the bad consequences. Do you think some people just never "get it". Thats the way I feel right now. I lost my job on Monday, my house is trashed. I wish someone would just pick me up and take me away. I cant do this by myself. I am tired of crying. Tired of lying, just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I called the AA hotline yesterday and when the woman called me back, my cell phone kept dropping the call. I felt and still do feel so isolated. I have nobody. I wonder what happened to me, to make me the way I am. I want it but I dont think I will ever "get it". Thats all...............

 
Old 09-01-2006, 09:46 AM   #2
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Hey there. Sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I would suggest driving to the AA office in your town. There should be someone there during the day. If that doesn't work, please go to the aa website and find a meeting for this evening. There are people there that will listen and help you as much as they can.

Tim

 
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Old 09-01-2006, 09:55 AM   #3
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Tim, I am beyond help. I just want to feel better, I am in such a rut. I called the AA hotline yesterday and the first woman that called me was having personal problems and just said, get to a meeting. I called back and asked to speak with another person. The woman that called me back was very nice but I will be damned if my cell phone would work. My life is miserable. Even when I reach out for help I get nothing. Garbage in Garbag out.

 
Old 09-01-2006, 10:11 AM   #4
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thiswasyourlife
I just cant stop drinking dispite all the bad consequences. Do you think some people just never "get it". Thats the way I feel right now. I lost my job on Monday, my house is trashed. I wish someone would just pick me up and take me away. I cant do this by myself. I am tired of crying. Tired of lying, just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I called the AA hotline yesterday and when the woman called me back, my cell phone kept dropping the call. I felt and still do feel so isolated. I have nobody. I wonder what happened to me, to make me the way I am. I want it but I dont think I will ever "get it". Thats all...............
you have to want it enough to do something about it......
until you put it into action, it is only an idea......
keep calling and get yourself to a meeting

 
Old 09-01-2006, 10:18 AM   #5
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Hi there, I'm a recovered alcoholic and my 5th birthday is in 3 weeks. I once was in the very same place as you and thought I could never "get it." I cried in my pitty potty! I cried in the arms of anyone who would listen, but at the end of the day the answer is simple, but not easy!!! Just don't take a drink "one day at a time." This had to be my intention and I had to make the effort to get my butt to the AA meetings and listen to people who have got well and recovered "one day at a time" from this disease of alcoholism.

You may be powerless once you take the 1st drink, but you're not powerless about taking the 1st drink and the support of been around people who have been their in the same place or similar is what saved my life. I hope you can find the inspiration and keep making that call and keep making the effort and keep placing your intention towards recovery; if you do you will "get it."

 
Old 09-01-2006, 10:20 AM   #6
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Rose, I am just that sick that I cant even think for myself. I cant drive and dont know what else to do. I agree, its just an idea if I dont put it into action. What do you suggest?

 
Old 09-01-2006, 10:59 AM   #7
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blasterboy
Hi there, I'm a recovered alcoholic and my 5th birthday is in 3 weeks. I once was in the very same place as you and thought I could never "get it." I cried in my pitty potty! I cried in the arms of anyone who would listen, but at the end of the day the answer is simple, but not easy!!! Just don't take a drink "one day at a time." This had to be my intention and I had to make the effort to get my butt to the AA meetings and listen to people who have got well and recovered "one day at a time" from this disease of alcoholism.

You may be powerless once you take the 1st drink, but you're not powerless about taking the 1st drink and the support of been around people who have been their in the same place or similar is what saved my life. I hope you can find the inspiration and keep making that call and keep making the effort and keep placing your intention towards recovery; if you do you will "get it."
Thank you Blaster. I'm working on it now. I am just soo overwhelmed that I cant even think. I am worried.

 
Old 09-01-2006, 11:13 AM   #8
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

take it all one day at a time and when that's too much, "one hour at a time;" it will work if you let it and most of all don't take the next drink.

 
Old 09-01-2006, 12:16 PM   #9
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thiswasyourlife
Rose, I am just that sick that I cant even think for myself. I cant drive and dont know what else to do. I agree, its just an idea if I dont put it into action. What do you suggest?
Do you have a friend who can take you to a meeting? I'd advise checking out your local AA and see where there is a meeting? Who knows, there may be one right around the corner from you. First step is finding where and when there is one that you could get to, then get there. I don't mean to oversimplify it, but you HAVE to.......it can save your life.

 
Old 09-01-2006, 01:17 PM   #10
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thiswasyourlife
Even when I reach out for help I get nothing. Garbage in Garbag out.
Hey there. People will reach out to you here. These boards were a big help in getting me through the rough times. A lot of people will be able to help you in sharing what you are going through. Stay strong and be active on this board.

 
Old 09-03-2006, 06:24 AM   #11
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Hi there, Your letter brought back so many memories for me. I know exactly what you are feeling... the hopelessness, the isolation, the feeling that maybe I was one of those people who in which there was no hope of recovery. I tried calling the AA hotline also but I didn't want to talk to someone who was so happy and full of AA crap. I don't think I even knew what I wanted or felt except that I didn't want to be me. I'm not sure if I was suicidal but I knew that I just wanted to go to sleep for a long, long time and not feel. What eventuallly helped me was that I called a Crisis Hot Line and two people came out to my home (I lived way out in the boonies!) and talked to me about I wanted and what I really needed. I had a choice of going to a 'safe house' for a few days or I could check myself into rehab. I knew that I had managed to get sober previously by going thru rehab. In fact, I had manged to stay clean and sober for over 5 years by getting a solid and safe fondation in rehab. I also had no insurance, but most hospitals have a 'charity' program that will either absorb all the costs or adjust it on a sliding scale fee. Whatever, Checking myself into the rehab was the second best thing I ever did for myself (the first thing was the first time I went into rehab). It wasn't easy, I hated it at first. I figured since I was in a hospital, I should be taken care of and allowed to sleep all day or do whatever I wanted but that was not to be. I had to relearn all about my disease, attend AA meetings and do assignments. But, I was in a safe setting and I was not alone.
I am sorry this is so long and I hope it helps even just a little.
Good luck to you

 
Old 09-03-2006, 07:01 PM   #12
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Please try to get to an AA meeting. I think you can find a list of meetings in your area online and when you go to a meeting they have a book with all the meetings listed. My husband is at one right now. I know how he struggles so I think I understand just a little of what you're feeling. There are people there who will help you through this. My husband's group friends call him every day and if he's too tired to get to a meeting they even come and get him. There have been times when he has called someone in the middle of the night and they are there to help him. It's a wonderful support system and one that I think you need. You are not as alone as you think. Just please reach out.

 
Old 09-03-2006, 07:10 PM   #13
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Right now I am watching intervention on A&E it is about an alcoholic it really opened my eyes I wish you continued luck!!! Kim

 
Old 09-04-2006, 09:45 AM   #14
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Minxie, your share is great, raw from the heart. Thankyou for that.

 
Old 09-04-2006, 10:41 AM   #15
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Re: When will I stop? When I am dead?

Just to update this "old" thread, I am on day three, no alcohol , pleanty of meetings and I do have a sponsor. Please see my new threads if you care to share or help. Thanks!

Marilyn

 
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