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LonelyTraveler · 09-08-2006, 07:48 AM

Hi

I was on Campral and Xanax for 7 days but then stopped taking the Campral for 2 days and on the 9'th day of my sobriety I had worked hard all day outside, was really hot and thirsty and decided to go grab a case of beer.

Well, I drank 11 beers last night and this morning I woke up feeling totally zoned out, spacy, like my head was foating and had all kinds of other weird and disconnected feelings (including TONS of anxiety). It was a good reminder to me of WHY I had quit in the first place.

Today, I plan to start over again and perhaps even go back on the Campral. The beer sure was icey-cold, tasted good and gave me a teriffic "buzz" but the price I had to pay when I woke up this morning was just not worth it.

Just thought I'd share. Peace to all of you.

- Regards, LT

whoevea · 09-09-2006, 04:03 PM

i have a pill addiction and im on Lexapro plus i smoked crack years ago.
i relapse with the crack

the next day of course i had no money and boy was the guilt eating me alive! i drank liquor also and i black out on that. beer is OK to drink but they say an addict shouldn't touch anything at all that will make them high. i dont ever ever EVER wanna touch that crack crap again! today im having withdrawals because i dont have pain pills. feel horrible and all i wanna do is sleep to make this feeling go away. but last night i bought 15 Xanax from someone and i also have Ambien cr and i take that during the day because all it does is relaxes me.
when all that's gone and im sure it will be gone by tomorrow i want to start having a normal life again Without drugs. i cant take it anymore.
i also went into my Docs office the other day while no one was around and i went in the cabinets

to see what good samples i could get!!
yes im bad and that's why i need to stop. dont wanna go to jail or prison!!
im a mess but ....
oh well i had to vent also.
Peace to you also LonelyTraveler

kim4074 · 09-09-2006, 07:21 PM

whoa is right. I really think you NEED to get help from this posts and other posts things are getting way out of control for you. I would start by weaning off the drugs one at a time. Dont turn to one to get off another. Everything your taking is highly addictive and sounds like your taking large quanities of everything. I'm worried about you this just cant be good if you dont really get the help you need ASAP I fear for your future. You have got to know you have a problem and you really have to want to get the help. Of course your going to go through w/d and YES it sucks its the only way to get clean though you just cant take a magic pill and wake up the next day feeling all better. W/D's arent that bad and they do go away. Speak to your dr about this your addiction is getting out of hand now your looking for a better high by going into the Dr's sample closet by the way Dr's dont get samples of any controlled substances so I wouldnt bother your wont find what your looking for. Maybe that should be your wake up call that things are out of control. Dr's get boring meds trust me I worked for one for a long time. So I wish you luck I really hope you really mean you want help and if you do you will find it. When I wanted to stop pills I fought with all my power to get off them, and I did so how badly do you want it? Good luck on your search for freedom from pills. Kim

cram315 · 09-10-2006, 02:33 PM

LT, sharing your thoughts and accomplishments is good and these boards are very supportive, they will help you pick yourself up and try again. You made it over the biggest hurdle, you recognized you have a problem. It isn't going to be easy, have faith in yourself. Remember today is the first day of the rest of your life, try it again today.

Peace

whoevea · 09-10-2006, 05:20 PM

Kim-- i know its getting worse especially because of what i done . not good at all.
well im out of Xanax ,Valium, pain pills but i do take OTC sleep aid at night.
today i dont feel to good at all but im gonna try my hardest to stop this non sense. im getting way out of hand. a friend wanted me to go over his house tonight and im not up to it and wont be for a while. he wanted to watch football (i dont watch football LOL) and drink some beer and i dont even want beer but if it were in front of me i probably would drink it.

WELL i want ME back!!! i cant take the person i turned into!
the bad thing is that when im on pills people seem to like it even tho they dont know im on them. they ask me why im in such a good mood and start conversations with me ETC...
when im not on anything they wanna know whats wrong with me!

im cranky and moody when im not on pillls and just wanna be left alone from the world. feeling more depressed!
i dont know....but im gonna try my hardest .

and thanks for wishing me luck!!

Hope your doing ok LonelyTraveler

kim4074 · 09-10-2006, 06:32 PM

sorry to take over your post lt. When I was on pills I thought I was the life of the party too I wasnt as shy I was just more talkative I thought I needed the pills for someone to enjoy who I am. You take otc sleep aids on top of the ambien?????? For what, do you want to wake up? I have been taking lunesta most nights to sleep but that is because I have been having to get up at 4am to go to work so I want to fall asleep b4 midnight. When I dont I dont take anything. Well you will be cranky and miserable but it will end we have to like who we are not on pills and once we do the pills dont matter anymore cause we dont need them to be "who" we want to be, cause we like who we are. Go through the uncomfortableness and get on with your life even if you just cut out one thing at a time. 15 xanax in a day come on. I get an rx for 90 for my panic attacks and they last me a year I dont take them for the high infact I dont notice anything except my panic is gone and I can function. I know they are addictive so they must do something. Please get the help you need and we will be here to support you! Kim

whoevea · 09-10-2006, 07:39 PM

thanks so much Kim for the kind words....

i take OTC sleep aid (i call it my escape) i just come on here because the computer relaxes me . at night anyways when no one is around. Ambien worked good for me ,made me pass right out and i woke up feeling great but i abused them also because i would take them during the day. dont think my Doc will give me them anymore. i NOW HAVE Rozerem 8mg that i got today. my other doc wrote me a script. its a sleep aid and its not a controlled substance. i took a couple today just to relax me and so on....
tomorrow is gonna be a bad day fro me becuae i wont have anything left. i will let ya know how i feel and i hope i feel good soon because this is just crazy.

Brandy age 35. 35 yrs old and been doing this on and off for about 8 yrs.

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