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Old 09-10-2006, 11:57 PM   #1
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gratefultee HB User
Today I'm Grateful

Just a little over a year ago, I found my way to this board. It was a huge part of my early recovery. On August 17, 2006, I celebrated one year clean. I am very active in my home group of "Cocaine Anonymous" and working a 12 step program has saved my life. literally.

When I first came around this board I had lost everything, including my business, my home, my significant other (who is still out there in active addiction), my pride, self-respect, my mind (literally) and worst of all I had lost my child. Today, I have a job, a home, true friends and have gotten my child back. It was a long hard road in the beginning. But with much hope, faith and courage, I've come a long way.

I credit my recovery to my Higher Power who I call "God", my sponsor, working the entire 12 steps, my new clean/sober friends. A year ago I couldn't imagine that I would ever be this happy or have the peace/serenity that I have in my life today. But I was so willing to do whatever it took. Today I sponsor several women in recovery. I get to see in them, exactly where I was just a short year ago. I've gotten to share in their recovery and see some of them grow, as well as see some relapse. As I sit in the rooms of different 12 step programs (AA/NA/CA) I get to see that newcomer walk in with such pain and sadness in their eyes. It makes me remember where I was just a short year ago. And it keeps me "Grateful". The newcomer is the most important person in the 12 step program. Today I speak at rehab facilities in our city, sharing what I've gotten. I do believe that I can only keep what I have, by giving it away.

I just wanted to share that there is "Hope"!!! And if you want a different way of life, it's there for the taking. It's hard in the beginning, but if you are "Willing To Do Whatever It Takes", it can be done. I was completely broken and if my sponsor had told me to stand on my head then that's what I would have done. I didn't question/argue what my sponsor told me. I just did it.

There are different ways to get and stay clean. Find what works for you. It may be a 12 step program or a religious program or something else. Different things work for different people. Find what works for you and latch on to it for dear life. Because your very life does depend on it. I truly believe for addicts/aloholics that we end up one of three ways - Cleaned up, Locked up or Covered up. Today I have a choice which I didn't have when I was in active addiction. That choice today is to not put in the first drug. And with the help of God, I don't have to put in today.

 
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Old 09-11-2006, 05:01 AM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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Thiswasyourlife HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

What a powerful post. I appreciate you taking the time to write it. Everything you said is what I want. I am in the AA program 10 days today and look forward to learning all the tools I can. Its nice to meet people that are just like me. Again, thanks. Hopefully you will stay around to share your experience, strengh and hope. We can all use that right?

Your Friend,
Marilyn

 
Old 09-11-2006, 03:59 PM   #3
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flintrock HB Userflintrock HB Userflintrock HB Userflintrock HB Userflintrock HB Userflintrock HB Userflintrock HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

Great post!!!!!!!11 You are a very brave soul and I am soooooo proud of you!!! You should be so proud of yourself. There is always hope...even when you feel there isn't. Keep posting and I know you will and have touched someone's life!!! What a great feeling that is!!!!
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Flintrock mom

 
Old 09-12-2006, 04:10 AM   #4
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,115
slipperyslope HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

That is so wonderful to hear how good your doing. Did you use a different screen name before as I think I might remember you but under a " similar" but different name I hope your the same person I use to know.

Anyhow cheers to you....

 
Old 09-12-2006, 08:23 PM   #5
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gratefultee HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

Hey Slipperyslope,

Yes I was here under a different screen name. I do remember your screen name as well as flintrock from when I was here before. I don't see many names that I do recognize. Not surprising though. Reminds me of being in the 12 step rooms. Lots of people passing through with a few who stick around. How have you guys been? Good I Hope!

Thiswasyourlife - Hang in there. My suggestion for working a 12 step program is to attend as many meetings as you can in the first 90 days (at least 90). That's where you get your base for your recovery. Soak in all the knowledge you can, get a sponsor, work the steps, fellowship with the members, hang with the winners (folks with some substantial clean time), read the book.....the list of suggestions can go on and on.

Have a great night all!

 
Old 09-16-2006, 02:24 PM   #6
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 168
Hollyday HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

I remember you, gratefultee!
I think your other name had one extra letter, am I right???

I just made 15 months clean so we were going through a lot of the same things at the same time. I am SO PROUD of you for sticking with it!!!

~ GREAT POST ~



 
Old 09-16-2006, 03:27 PM   #7
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gratefultee HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

I am the mom of twin boys who were soldiers in the Army who both were in Iraq at the same time. That is more related to my story of when I started down the road in my addiction and also related to my old screen name.

 
Old 09-17-2006, 08:24 AM   #8
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slipperyslope HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

I totally remember you, glad you came back! I actually thought you were someone else, but its good to know you made it a year I remember your first few days of gettling clean and all the drama you had going on with you life with your ex and your housing situation.
so glad you made it 1 year good for you.

 
Old 09-17-2006, 12:16 PM   #9
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 355
Thiswasyourlife HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

Quote:
Originally Posted by gratefultee
Hey Slipperyslope,

Yes I was here under a different screen name. I do remember your screen name as well as flintrock from when I was here before. I don't see many names that I do recognize. Not surprising though. Reminds me of being in the 12 step rooms. Lots of people passing through with a few who stick around. How have you guys been? Good I Hope!

Thiswasyourlife - Hang in there. My suggestion for working a 12 step program is to attend as many meetings as you can in the first 90 days (at least 90). That's where you get your base for your recovery. Soak in all the knowledge you can, get a sponsor, work the steps, fellowship with the members, hang with the winners (folks with some substantial clean time), read the book.....the list of suggestions can go on and on.

Have a great night all!
Hey Grateful,
Thanks for your advise. From what you posted, it sounds like I am doing all the right things so far. I have a sponsor, home group and been hitting tons of meetings. I want to concentrate on service work this week. I'm am sure there are things I should and could be doing. The last womens meeting I went to on Sat, it was very unorganized. I got there early and could have set up, but I didnt think about it. In reality I didnt know where the box for that group was but I do now! I plan to get there early and set up. I am going to bring some sweets too!

Thanks!
Your Friend,
Marilyn

 
Old 09-17-2006, 07:52 PM   #10
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 355
Thiswasyourlife HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

Grateful, Did your or do you still work in long term care?

 
Old 09-19-2006, 07:52 PM   #11
Junior Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 14
gratefultee HB User
Re: Today I'm Grateful

Hey Everyone,

Yes, I remember the drama I was living in just a year ago. Thank God, today I don't have ANY drama in my life. Life has settled down and good things have come to pass. I finally got my ex out of my house, sold my house, got a job, got my child back and the Department of Human Resources closed our file in May. We have a good life today. My child is in her first year of high school, cheerleading, etc. Keeps me busy. You know the best thing about my child. She loves me unconditionally. We have been back together since end of Feb. and she's never blamed me or been ugly about what I've done. And that's unusual for a teenager from what I understand. Of course she was a rock and a great source of strength to me when we were separated. God has truly blessed me with this child. She goes to meetings with me sometimes and came to see me celebrate my 1 year at my home group. She tells me how proud she is of me, just as I tell her how proud I am of her.The ex moved back to South Carolina after getting out of my house. And I hope to never hear from or about him again. I wish him well and hope that someday he gets clean. But our time is over.

I did not get that job in long term care, but God led me to a job that I love. In the unit where I work there are sometimes crack addicts who have destroyed their hearts, bodies and mind with their addiction. My addiction will smack me in the face almost weekly when I care for these folks.

When drama starts in my home group, I back away from those folks. Love them from a distance. I had to learn to love from a distance at times, like when several of my friends relapsed. Some made it back in and some haven't yet.

Hope you all had a good day. I'm going to bed now. I've gotten a terrible cold and need to rest well tonight. God Bless you all!

 
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