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Old 09-18-2006, 10:56 PM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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CassieC HB User
Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Day 2 from a 160mg oxy a day habit. I'm hanging in there thanks to my mother and a few valium, however, the real question is, is it worth it? I mean tomorrow I will have access to all the pills I want and I need to know is life really that much better? I mean does the tree's seem greener does the sky seem more blue? Just in the two days I've been clean I've had my sister (who has no idea about it, she thinks I have the flu) but she told me she thinks I seem happier and "diferent" the odd thing is in just two days I have laughed more I have cried more and I guess I just want to say...I took the pills so I could be myself when I hung out with people and now I'm thinking I lost myself in the pills....this is a total rambling but I guess I just need to hear is it really worth it? Why stop? I'm not trying to be negative I just need help...I have got to go through this...and I am...but should I?
Also, I want to take a moment to tell you guys how much I apperciate your words I would be lost without them thank you.....

 
Old 09-18-2006, 11:15 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 181
MsMinn HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

if you have support, cassie, quit.
I am alone and struggle with a dual addiction of alcohol and ultram. I look at it as temporary, but I can't get to the total quit thing because I have no one to support me, to be there when I decide to finally do it. I'm tapering on the ultram, but have had some setbacks.
Please, please, keep going on staying off. You will really be SO much happier when you are just YOU.
Minn

 
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Old 09-19-2006, 05:43 AM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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Thiswasyourlife HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Hey Cassie,
I posted on your other thread. But yeah, it does get better and is actually quite wonderful!


Your Friend,
Marilyn

 
Old 09-19-2006, 06:02 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: columbus ohio
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bkim HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Hey there. Please check out my posts. It is amazing to live without the pills. For one thing, you are destroying your body with the pills. Just think, you have to take them to feel normal. Just saying that sounds odd. Before you know it, you will have to take more and more-just to feel normal. Also, you no longer have to be obsessed about the pills. You can enjoy so much more without having to worry if you are going to run out, where you will get your next script.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 09:02 AM   #5
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Location: northern NJ
Posts: 20
mineral96 HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Cassie C,

I posted before to you about my struggle with addiction. I was sniffing 8-80mg oc's a day before i decided to quit (so i know what you are feeling right now). I tried numerous times to quit, but I would just relapse because i had no support. I thought that I would never be "normal" again, I did not want to get out of bed because I felt like life was not worth living without pills. I thought everything was hopeless. Well, tomorrow is day 30 for me, and i'm not going to lie, the mental part of the process has been the toughest part. We have to learn to live again and that takes time. But in the end (i realize a have a ways to go) it was so worth it. The best part is i can enjoy life without worrying about when i'm going to get my next set of pills, planning my life around them. You will be happy again, Good luck and let us know how you are doing

 
Old 09-19-2006, 11:02 AM   #6
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 39
r1961 HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Hey, Just wanted you to know that there is some light at the end of the tunnel and it is definately worth it. We quit at the same time and today I forced myself to get up and go out and shoot some hoops, then I took a shower and I feel great!! I realize that the bad feelings and cravings will be back to haunt me but I feel as though I've got a better defense system in place to fight them. I'm going with it till I start feeling bad again, if that indeed does happen. You really just got to make up your mind that it's over, no looking back. Force yourself to do stuff, anything. Mineral and buckeye are to thank for that advice. It really works, the more you do, the better you feel. Hope your doing good.

R

Last edited by r1961; 09-19-2006 at 11:04 AM.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 11:09 AM   #7
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 43
pd18 HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Hey Cassie:

I'm at 55 days off opiates and I can tell you YES! Yes it is so worth it to be free from the prison of addiction. When I was at my worst, I too questioned whether quitting was worth it - because I loved the high way too damned much. What I can see now that I'm at almost 2 months clean, is that what you add to your life in clarity of thought and pride in being free, far outweighs any high that you could get from pills. I remember walking down the street and looking at everyone else and thinking "I wish I was normal, like everyone else".
Well, now I am and being clean forces you to a) deal with life, rather than run from it. The results of which are a more organized and fulffilling life. And b) realize what the pills really do to you, and that is, it messes up your mind (and your body). The way I look at it, a pain pill addiction is a brain filter. It screens every thought and emotion so that all you feel is a fraction of what you should.
Please trust us and make the commitment to yourself. You've already taken the first steps - the rest, while not easy - goes by in a relative blink of an eye. In a few weeks, you'll be doing great and you will look back and be amazed that you even questioned whether it was worth it to quit.

Good luck,
Paul

 
Old 09-19-2006, 11:40 AM   #8
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Join Date: Apr 2005
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MrClean HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

well put PD18

I'm at day 58, and the first month was tough, but now that I'm just about to 2 months I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's great feeling things again, you'll have good days and bad days. But overall the good days are much better than your best days on pills.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 11:47 AM   #9
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 16
vstar HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

it's been 19 days for me and trust me, it really does get better....just not having to feel the fear of not be able to get your hands on anything makes it all 100% worth it!!

hang in there

 
Old 09-19-2006, 01:08 PM   #10
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katzchen HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Hey there,

Day 14 for me and YES - life is better. I posted about a week ago that I noticed how beautiful the skyline was. That hasn't happened in a long time. Stick with it, if you can.

K

 
Old 09-19-2006, 01:55 PM   #11
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 237
Sylvia224 HB User
Re: Is life really better without pills? I need to know...

Hi Cassie,
I have been clean from pills and alcohol for about five months. I had probably the best incentive for sobriety - I got pregnant (a surprise, but a happy one). Before this, I drank everyday (about six to eight beers) and took hydros/oxys/percs - though toward the end I had weaned myself from the physical addiction to the pills, I was still very caught up in the mental addiction and would look forward all week to taking them on the weekends. I too had lost myself in my substances. I couldn't imagine doing certain things - visiting with my in-laws for instance - without chemical help. I also didn't know if life was really better on the other side, or if I really wanted to find out.

The reason I checked the board today (haven't been here in months) is because, pregnant or not, I still get the most insane cravings for pills, booze and cigarettes. They come less often now, but I still get them.
Having said that, however, I do not miss my using days if I stop and think about what it was really like. You have to get far enough away before you can see this, but you are carrying around such an incredible weight right now. All that shame, all those secrets, the guilt over using, the anxiety over having enough -- it's all very heavy, but you're not going to really know that until you put that weight down and walk around for a little while. I'd say for the first month or two, you're going to just have to believe this - take it on blind faith that it will get better.

The thing about being sober though is that no, it is not all rainbows and light. You have to accept that there will be times when you will get tired or bored or cranky and not be able to chase that feeling away immediately with a pill. You will have to deal with those negative emotions like a normal person. But only an addict can know how much JOY there is in being a normal person. I think many people relapse because they hear that life is better on the other side - and it IS - it is far better than the suffocating spiral that you're in now - but it is still LIFE. I say this because I wouldn't want you to run back to drugs because you have a bad day and decide that sobriety isn't all it was chalked up to be. So I guess my answer is an unequivocal YES, life is better, just as long as you understand that just because you stopped using doesn't make every day a walk in the park.

Good luck to you, and hang in there. I know you can and will beat this and you'll come out stronger than ever before.

 
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