Happy New Year! Long time no write. :-)
Today is the day. The D Day I've been both dreading and looking forward to. I quit norcos, and any one who remembers me knows this is not my first attempt to quit. This has to be the last time though. I'm so sick of relapsinig and being addicted. I just want a normal life again- without the pills. I also decided to quit smoking cigarettes. I haven't been getting that much enjoyment out of them, just smoking to feed my addiction to nicotine. I figured this is going to be hard, but I took off the whole week at work. I have my daughter to take care of, but she's so thrilled I quit smoking that she's been super sweet and helpful today. I know that the pain pills and smokes are both going to kill me, and since I'm a single mom with no ties to the dad, I have to take care of myself so I'm here for my sweet little 6 year old. PS I was taking about 15 norcos a day, sometimes more, occasionally less. I tried to taper off but knowing I wasn't going to take them kind of sent me into a binge and who knows how many I took this weekend. Too many!
Talk about some hard core resolutions! I'm not even bothering with the lose weight one, this is enough on my plate. I do plan to get healthy and start exercising as soon as I can pull myself off the couch. Withdrawals suck.
I wish you luck. all you can do is keep trying one of these times it will stick. You know how to reach me if you need to talk!!! Hope it sticks this time. I know how frustrating it can be to keep going backwards and not forward. Just remember "one foot in front of the other". You can do it. Kim
Yes this is going to be a hard road to travel. Do you have anything to help you through the hardest parts? Both at the same time is gonna be tough. You might consider a nicotine patch also for withdraws. Do you have anything like ativan or valium for when it gets bad. When i am going through a med change or something i try to make sure i have what i need in advance.
I just went off of methadone. It was awful for 2 weeks but i was also going on to oxycontin so it was differencial withdraw which isnt as hard but bad enough. I have gone through dilaudid withdraw last year. It was a nightmare. I dont ever want to deal with that again.
Hey guys! Y'all are both so sweet to post so quickly. I'm taking those nicotine lozenges so much my throat is burning. I might get the patch when I feel able to leave my house. LOL. I've got some xanax, valiums and somas that I'll use for not being able to sleep. I took a xanex earlier and it knocked me out and my daughter was hysterical and crying and calling my mom. I felt like such a crappy mom. But what, I can't take a friggin nap now and then? Oh man. The holidays were such a stress! Each year I'm reminded by how dysfunctional my family truly is. There are at least 1-2 major blow out fights every Christmas, and I'm involved in all of them! But that's all over and I worked like a dog getting the Xmas stuff down this weekend. I started wellbutrin about a month ago. I figured the times I relapse and have failed it's really the depression that gets to me. Now I've got the antidepressants for both the smoking and pain pills. It is hard, but I need to quit both so why not bite the bullet and do them both together. A new year, a new start. I can't control my usage, it's out of control and I'm sick of the pills controlling me. I want my life back!
Congrats on your decision! I'm kind of a mess right now & having a hard time, but I just wanted to send you good vibes & wish you the best of luck. You can do it... we all know how rough this stuff is, but = you can do it.
I quit smoking in May 05 (after smoking 1 pack a day for 24 years)..... I used the nicotine patch & it really really helped!! Sugar free lifesavers & gum helped too.
I'm on day 2. No cigarettes and no pain pills. I am a BI*** on wheels! I've been yelling at my dog, my daughter, then feeling like such a jerk and apologizing. I took a half a xanax. Reading about the horrible xanax withdrawals scares me, but they've never been my DOC. I understand it's easy to switch though. I think I will go to an NA meeting this week. I have to do something different this time than the last times I quit to make this time work. What's that quote? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different outcome. Something like that. I was just on some stop smoking boards and reading (and seeing pix) of people my age (in their 30's!) that died of lung cancer from smoking and I am bawling like a baby. Between the smokes and the pills I really have been killing myself, slowly but surely. So yea, this is hard, but I know it will get better. I am glad my daughter is going to school tomorrow b/c she is getting on my nerves and it's not her fault of course, but I wish I could just be alone and be miserable! My mom is away right now so I haven't had a babysitter for a while, and won't for a while either. It's just me and my kid. But thank God I'm off work! I hate my job so much, I don't think I could take going there and not smoking or pill popping. I know I'll be much stronger by next monday. And exercise will help too, as soon as I feel like I can. I've already researched NA meetings, and the only thing that sux are the ones I could go to this week (when my daughter's back in school) are the smoking meetings. Which sux. But I guess I can deal with it. It's so ironic b/c before I didn't want to go to NA meetings b/c I couldn't smoke! Damn those things have had a big hold over me. Thanks to everyone on this board for caring. You all are great!
Hi, I am also from the Ft Worth area! What a coincidence.
Anyways, I have the same problem w. hydros. I have tried to stop c/t with nothing but overthecounter meds and smoke.
Didnt work too well.
I am waiting on a detox to open so I can spend 5-7 days there in a medical setting. They prescibe anxiety meds, blood pressure meds, etc but taper off towards the end.
I know your frustrations, as I also have THREE young girls.
ages 2 (she turns 3 on 1-15)
6 and 8.
It is HARD with young children. At the time I quit c/t I had my husband helping and my father staying with us. But, on day 3 or 4 I did force myself to get up and take the kids to the park. We are having semi nice weather for that when you get to the point you can handle it. Something about letting the kids run out their energy might help with your nap.
I wish you all the best and if you need anything I am here for ya too! This is an excellent place to gather support & ideas.
Thanks for your nice reply. It is a small world!!! I feel like such a heel. The smoking thing is actually harder than the pills. I never thought I'd live to say that. Good lord this is hell. The depression, lethargy and anxiety and mood swings are all kicking in. That with the crawling skin. I feel like my daughter is jipped a good day at the park or even outside. I meant to do something special with her today, but I'm just now working up to the fact that I really need a shower, and by the time I did that, for us to go out might not be practical. Argh.
Good for you for going to detox. I'm a single mom but having kids at all, esp. your 3, means you have to be there for them. I guess I wasn't when I was on the pills, but I seemed like a very functional person. Superwoman. Now I'm just this big addict loser.
Toughtime...don't beat yourself up for being b*****. Nor about taking your daughter to the park. There will be soooo many days ahead for you to do things with her. I quit smoking 17 years ago after a 15 year pack and a half day habit. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I used the gum. I remember vividly lying on the couch for the first 2 weeks so tired so I can relate to the feelings of lethargy (and the mood swings). For me, things got better at the 2 week mark. But because you are trying to quit the pills too maybe you will have a harder time. Not to be a downer or anything. Have you talked to your daughter about what you are trying to do? She should be able to grasp on some level what is going on at 6. I would even go so far as to tell her that mommy might be mean the next couple of weeks and why and that it's not her fault. You can do it!!
Thanks so much for your kind words and support. It means so much to me! Yes, I think this is doubly worse quitting pills and smokes together, but I have no control over either of them! I was going to quit the pills right after Christmas, but didn't. I just don't have any willpower. It's all or nothing. I made it thru day 2. Woo hoo! And I got cleaned up and took my daughter out to eat at her favorite restaurant. I survived a public outing without smoking or pills. wow. I'm beat. I've been crying off and on all day. I'm on the wellbutrin, for a month now. Does it just not stand a chance against withdrawals? Oh man. I'm on the lozenges but I think I'll go get the patch tomorrow. I feel like if I screwed up and had a smoke or a pill I would blow both of them, then I would really hate myself. This time, failure is NOT AN OPTION! Oh, I have explained to my daughter about how I'm mean and snappy because of the smoking. She (my biggest advocate of wanting me to quit) actually suggested that I go back to smoking so I'd be nice again. Ouch! I assured her that this won't be permanent. Poor thing. I've been praying to god to help me control my temper. I've been getting so mad over little things then I feel so guilty. I'm just trying to do better.
Sounds like you are going to do this. Taking your daughter to the park thing wasnt necessarily intended for right away. Like I said, I had to FORCE myself to do it, i had to FORCE myself to get in the shower, to wake up in the morning, to fall asleep for a nap, to fall asleep at night, etc. And FORCE myself to talk to people. So, can you imagine the courage I see in you when you get up everyday to type messages here?
Honestly, I do not know what is on the other side of tomorrow, or even day 4, but I know that whatever it is has to be better than all of us killing ourselves slowly by taking these pills.
keeping u in my prayers