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Old 04-28-2007, 06:29 AM   #1
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jess1598 HB User
Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

First of all I am 24 years old (April 15th). I'm about to start my rad tech classes in May. I have been waiting on this for 4 years now. And I need help before I ruin my career. I am addicted to Hydrocodone. Addiction runs very highly in my family. My father is a 25 year recovered heroin addict. Two years ago I had to have ACL reconstuction, was suppossed to be orthodcopic but it didnt turn out that way. Anyhow, I was prescribed Percocet for a while to help with the pain. I started to like the "BUZZ" I felt from them and noticed myself taking mor than the dosage required for the pain. After I stopped receiving prescriptins , I didn't take them too much, but found myself getting a few from friends that had gotten them off the street. NEXTPART -- I have been trying to get my teeth perfect before my insurance ran out on my 24th birthday(Was still on father's insurance). I have been going back to this "Quack" dentist for 1 1/2 years. Every time I went he would prescribe me Percs, Xodol, and for the last year Lortab. I'm not blaming it on the dentist but he has helped me form my addiction. If it wasn't that available to me I probably would not have taken that much. I always told my self I would not BUY off the street but for the past year between prescriptions I have. There has not been one day that has gone buy that i didn't take one pill. On a average I take 3-10mg lortabs a day if available. I am to the point hat I have to have one to get up in the morning for "MOTIVATION". I feel I need one to do things for example a meeting, shopping, or like my rad tech orientation next week I will need one or I will not feel like myself. When I take a pill I feel like I can do or say anything. WHen I do not have one I feel Lost, empty, angry, depressed, and all I want to do is get high!. I hate the person I have become. The mood swings-- I am so angry to my family, friends, mom, and my poor boyfriend. I hate the things I say to them and do not mean it. The pills have taken control. I know I have a problem and I know need to stop but I'm so scared and I dont know what to do. I really wanted to be off them before I started school. Please help I need advice. Thanks for whoever is listening I needed to get it off my chest!!

 
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:40 AM   #2
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jules3 HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Is it possible for you to find an outpatient re-hab?

 
Old 04-28-2007, 12:36 PM   #3
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penny44 HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

If it makes you feel any better, we are in the same boat! Sometimes, I cannot find a reason to get out of bed unless the three 10mg pills are waiting for me! Sound familiar? A huge problem! Perhaps you can try tapering down... I am in that stage now. So sorry to hear of your struggle. We cant give up...

 
Old 04-28-2007, 01:35 PM   #4
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peace1910 HB User
Red face Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

dear jess,

you are talking to a rad tech...have been one for over 30 yrs. i can tell you that you will need your wits about you all the time during your trainingl....even just one pill can cause a mental error or you doing something you;d never do if you hadn't taken that pill. they are evil if ever abused in any way,
the reason i know this is because about 5 yrs ago, i needed the pills for a little while...well you know when one is good, two is better. now i've lost my job , my self esteem, my self confidence and don't know what i'm gonna dol

do please, please, do whatever it takes to get off them or they'll get you
my prayers go with you..................................... .............peace

 
Old 04-28-2007, 02:07 PM   #5
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madhatter HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Have you tried to ween of the hydros? You say you take up to 3 10 mg a day.
It could be a lot worse.What i'm getting at,is 3 10's a day,relatively is a small amount to were the withdrawls would be unberrable,don't get me wrong,everyone is different.if you cant go cold turkey,cut them in half,for example,start off with your 3 a day,then go down to 2 and a half,and so on.Sure your going to have some wd's,after about 5 days,its going to be mental.You have already taken the biggest step! Addmitting you have a problem,and willing to talk about it.You can always come here and talk to someone,at any time.Next thing you know,you will be helping someone else,and giving them advise on how you overcame your addiction .
Good luck,and stick around!

 
Old 04-28-2007, 02:51 PM   #6
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Podee HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

You are an addict, just as your father is. Assuming he is clean and sober, why not follow whatever led him to recovery? Talk to him.

I have been clean and sober for many years through first rehab., and then following up for life with N.A.

Last edited by Podee; 04-28-2007 at 02:53 PM.

 
Old 05-01-2007, 07:27 AM   #7
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jess1598 HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Just wanted to say thanks for the reply's. It feels good to talk about this and get feedback. My father knows I take pain pills, but doesn't know the extent. It is kind of hard to talk to him that deeply about it because he is a drug and alcohol abuse counselor and I do not want to disappoint him. Since I wrote Saturday I have only taken 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 later of a percocet. Mainly on availabilty but it works. Yesterday I did not have one until the PM, and I felt so sad, depressed, and scared (I literally wanted to just walk out of my job). It is a hard battle but I know the person I am and CAN overcome this and I will. School starts May 30 and I hope to have it under control. I know I sound contradicting, I want to quit so bad but I love the way the pills make me feel. You people probably think I'm not serious about this, but I am. I am also so so so so CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!

Thanks For Listening
Jess

Last edited by jess1598; 05-01-2007 at 07:32 AM. Reason: spelling

 
Old 05-01-2007, 07:42 AM   #8
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Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Also I was just wandering about this. I am also prescribed clonazepam to help me sleep at night. But in no way am I addicted to this, I do not even take it every day. Why am I so addicted to pain pills but not these? I was just wandering, if anyone had any insight on this matter?

Thanks,
Jess

 
Old 05-01-2007, 08:02 AM   #9
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Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Jess - The clonazepam does not affect the endorphin receptors in the brain, that is why it is not addicting. What you are doing with the hydrocodone is "feeding" your brain a chemical that saturates your brains receptors for pleasure with substitute "endorphins". The reason that you/we feel the w/ds and the depression (not being happy, moody, unmotivated) is your brains natural ability to make the endorphins stops working altogether because it is getting them from the percocet/vicodan. Have you ever been a athlete? When we exercise our body starts to produce endorphins to compensate for the work of the exercise. That is whats called a "runners high". Just as you and i are addicted to hydrocodone, some people are "addicted" to running or some other physical activity that causes the body to boost the endorphin production.

So your taper program is excellent. Suppliment that with some kind of phisical activity. Get a sweat going. Honey quit while you are ahead. I was on 2 darvocet a day for 3 years and then 2 years ago i had a back injury and got vicodan. At my peak i was taking 10 - 15 of them a day. If you do not proactivley NOW start to and finally stop, they will esculate. You have a great future and I really do care and want to help you from my mistakes. Don't do what I did i regret this everyday of my life.
You should also pray if you can.
TJ

 
Old 05-01-2007, 08:13 AM   #10
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logalind HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Jes OMG you poor angel. My heart goes out to you. I too couldn't get out of bed without the hydros. It sucks, it does but trust me you are young you have your whole life ahead of you. You don't want to be a 46 year old addict. Sweetie do whatever you have too to get help try an outpatient. How about a sub doctor. You can do it. I work for a Medical University with doctors and stilll bought off the streets and still ran out. I was doing anywhere from 15 on a good day to 25 on a bad day. I am in detox I was terrified but I know I need to do this, I can't live like this anymore. Admitting to my husband was the hardest thing to do. But he stood by me and took me in yesterday. Everyone was so supprised at how supportive he is being including me he is very macho and feels if you are doing something to much just stop you don't need to get help. But I guess this is his lesson. I want to hear more from you. Sweetie you sound ready. Life will be so much better sober you can concentrate on your dream job and all the money you make won't be used on drugs, that where my money went. I gotta run take care and keep posting.

 
Old 05-01-2007, 08:21 AM   #11
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Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

TJ,
That helps a lot. I do pray everynight. Every little bit helps(As my three year old little brother says !!)

Thank You Very Much
Jess

 
Old 05-01-2007, 08:30 AM   #12
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TJinPA HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Jess I am going to follow this thread, please feel free to ask anything. I will tell you the truth. The crazyness that makes me shake my head is I am a Christian and I allowed myself to be decieved. The only thing that I feel I can do now is help anyone that I can. So I'll consider you my daughter in the Lord and help you as much as I can. You will overcome this, I sense it in my spirit. Also don't sell your Dad short, he probably knows more than you think, and he also knows that this is a disease that can only be helped when a person admits the problem. Just a little 'grist for the mill' but know that you have a resource here.
TJ

 
Old 05-01-2007, 08:33 AM   #13
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jess1598 HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Logalind,

You don't know how good you made me feel . I can relate. My boyfriend says JUST STOP. I'm like do you even know what your talking about ? I WISH it was that easy!! Anyway it is so nice to talk to people that can relate to what you've been through and how you feel. Your right I don't need to waste my money on these stupid things. I've spent enough. So Thank You and anytime you need to talk to someone I'm here also!!!

Luv
Jess

Last edited by jess1598; 05-01-2007 at 09:51 AM.

 
Old 05-01-2007, 08:35 AM   #14
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jess1598 HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Thanks SOOO Much! Your right, I know my father is a very intelligent person and he's been through this far worse than I have!

Jess

 
Old 05-01-2007, 01:34 PM   #15
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madhatter HB User
Re: Help Im New to this Need SumOne to listen!!!!!

Jess1598-The person who said kolonopin is not addicting,My god! That is the furthest thing I've heard all year from the truth!!! It is in the bezo family,very simular to valium,xanax.,and Is addicting!! I'm not saying you are by no means jess,but my god! I can't believe someone said it wasn't addicting!

 
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