You know, i can't do this crazy board. I just scrolled back a page (of threads) just for the heck of it, and saw that u had responded to my thread here and i didn't even know it! I wonder how everyone else keeps everything in order. I forget if i wrote something to u or to someone else and then i don't want to repeat myself!!!
And then there are so many threads that i can't remember which ones i've posted in and forget to go back to them. But no one usually even responds to me anyways. I guess there are cliques' in here also and i am way to sensitive right now to keep feeling rejected by writing to everyone and hearing nothing back but from u or occasionally one other person.
Atleast i know that u are responding and i apologize for not seeing this until now.
Today was pretty good! My DH and i went for a drive to a golf store (he's obsessed!) and to the mall. Didn't buy too much, just some hand soaps from B&BB that were on sale & some 'DETOX SYSTEM" stuff thats supposed to clean u out from toxins and chemicals. I'm looking forward to starting it since i deal with constipation so badly from the subaxone.
I have had such terrible headaches/migraines the past 5 days and it has been making me depressed. Being in constant pain can be draining physically & emotionally. I know u can relate with your back pain. Maybe we should take off to a Zen retreat camp where we can detox and rejuvinate our bodies!!! And maybe lose a little weight (for me) while we're there
Maggie went to her Grandmas today to stay the night bcuz i knew we would be gone for most of the day and i hate to leave her alone
She is just so used to being w/other dogs since she practically lived w/my mom (and her brother Riley) for a few yrs. So leaving her alone in my condo just breaks my heart.
And we are in NO position to get another dog right now so that has to wait. Thankfully i work from home so i keep her company during the day. I /We must sound nutso to people who aren't obsessed w/their dogs!heeheehee
I know u are scared to go to a mtg....but i can promise you that if u do end up crying, no one will stare and make u feel uncomfortable. I know how u feel though bcuz i don't like going to church bcuz everytime i go i cry hysterically during the music time. We have a laid back church that sings very casual music - music that pertains to real life and real emotions so it really hits my heart and i immediately ball like crazy. I always worry that people are looking at me going "man, she must either be feeling guilty about something, or she's having a breakdown"..heeheehee - I'm sure that no one thinks anything, it's just my insecurities.
Anyways, just try a mtg. even if u only stay for 1/2, atleast u will get a taste of it and be a little more comfortable when u go back a 2nd time. Mtgs. are vital at this stage in recovery - if u read "Coders" posts, u will see how much it has already helped him.
I don't want to nag u, i just know how VERY MUCH it helped me out and how it kept me excited about my recovery. Don't get me wrong, i still struggled, but it felt wonderful to have a local support system that was willing to help me get better. Don't forget, i met my hubby there, so u never know!!! Just kiddin, don't want anyone blasting me for that comment!!!
Ok sweetpea, i'm going to read for a few and go nite-nite.
Hope u are doing well and i hope to hear from u tomorrow.